Desiree
I stared at Mani, trying to think of a come back for what she said;
"I've never left your side, I don't see why you can't appreciate that,"
That gotta be the realist shit she's ever said to me because it's true. Even when we're into it bad she still comes around trying to talk to me. At least that part of her hasn't died yet.
Everything else I used to love about her did. Her sense of humor is definitely gone, she's so serious now. We don't have conversations every day like we used to, we don't do anything and I can't take it anymore.
I'm pregnant and hormonal as fuck, she hasn't made any attempts to kiss me or anything like she normally would. She's not vulnerable anymore. She hasn't told me she loved me and actually meant it in months and right now, that's all I want.
I want the old Mani back.
"Look, imma just do you a favor and go. You don't have to worry about me calling or texting you, if you don't want me to be apart of my sons life then I won't be. Ight?" she said,
"Don't leave," I said, "I want you here, I need you,"
She didn't say anything, she simply stood there and leaned against the wall. She sighed and looked at her nails, as if she had any. Then she started biting on them, I hate when people do that.
"Can you stop?" I said,
The face she made was cute, I wanted to smile but I couldn't.
"My bad" she said, shoving her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants.
I took a seat on the couch and turned the tv on. Some romantic movie was on and I immediately turned, I'm not a fan of shit like that. After I couldn't find anything good, I sat back and shifted my gaze over to Mani. She looked so tense it and stressed.
"Come here," I said,
She did as I said and was now sitting on the floor between my legs. I gently began massaging her shoulders, her body loosened up and she seemed more relaxed.
"Talk to me," I said,
She looked at me before turning back around. "I don't know what's wrong with me. One minute I'm coo, then I'm doing shit I never thought I'd do. And I keep having those nightmares. Sometimes when I'm really deep in my thoughts, I think about how shit would be if I wasn't even here,"
"Don't say that," I said,
"It's the truth," she said, "I don't even know what's keeping me alive, cause I really don't want to be. I just don't have it in me to kill myself,"
"Mani stop saying that,"
"You told me to talk to you. I'm telling you how I've been feeling," she said,
By now I stopped massaging her shoulders and was trying to figure out what exactly is going on with Mani.
"You need to go see a doctor or something,"
"Nah, I don't want to," she said, "I'd rather talk to you,"
She turned around and sat next to me on the couch, "I keep getting these headaches, saying shit I really don't mean. I don't know what's going on. The shit I've been saying and doing, I'd never say or do to you,"
"You know what I think?" I say, waiting for her to say something.
"What?"
"I think you're blaming yourself for what happened to Zion. You're afraid you won't be a good parent because of your childhood and you don't want to be in this relationship anymore because you fell out of love with me,"
"Nah, I didn't fall out of love with you. I love you, I'm in love with you. Lately I just haven't been able to show it," she said,
"You can start by kissing me," I said,
She looked at me before leaning in and pecking my lips, but it didn't stop there, she slid her tongue in my mouth while her hand rested between my thighs. When she pulled back, she looked in my eyes before slouching back onto the couch.
Then she looked at me again, her face a light red.
Damn, I was taken aback from that kiss. I don't remember Mani being that good of a kisser.
"Who taught you how to kiss like that?" I asked her,
"You," she said before kissing me again.
But then I got this weird feeling in my stomach, it hurt but at the same time it didn't. I didn't know what the fuck was going on.
Mani raised up off the couch, "I think your water broke,"
She mumbled something under her breath before grabbing my hand and gently pulling me up.
"Mani get me some sweatpants," I said, she rushed to the back and soon came back with the what I asked for. I hurriedly put them on before me and Mani left.
*
Armani
Putting up with the normal Desiree is hard enough, but the pregnant Desiree is rude. She keeps cussing at me every time she looks my way and when I try and hold her hand she slaps me. So, after a while I stopped trying.
I was sitting there, watching Desiree give birth to Sierre. When I heard a baby's cry, I knew she was done. Desiree was crying while holding him, his little cries were cute.
Desiree signaled for me to come here, so I did. She kissed his forehead before putting him in my arms, he was so small and he looked just like me with Desiree's eyes and her hair curly hair, only it was dark brown, just like mine. He has a head full of hair too.
He wrapped his finger around mine while staring in my eyes. I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't fall. The way his gorgeous green-hazel eyes shined was so breath taking.
"He looks just like you," Desiree said,
"I know," I said, still looking at him. "Your cute ass," I cooed, making him smile a little.
"Alright, we're gonna take him to make sure everything is fine," the doctor said. I gave Sierre to her before turning my attention to Desiree.
"He's cute," I said, sitting beside her.
"Like you," she said,
"And you" I said,
"He only has my eyes. Everything else is all you,"
I silently agreed. I just can't believe I said all that, I was really out of my mind. I fucked up, yeah I know. But imma get my shit together, and step up to the plate like Desiree told me to.
