drug [ pjm ]

twenty-eight.

You're standing in front of Jungkook's door. You decided to confront him sooner since you felt like you had to. Things would just get worse if you procrastinated. You rung the door bell once and waited for him. But there was no answer. So you rung again, with much force this time.

Finally, it opens. There in front of you is an innocent-looking Jungkook with home clothes. It ticked you off, how a once harmless persom could do the most painful harm in the end. "[Name]-"

Your hand slaps him across the cheek before he could even finish his statement, printing a red mark at the spot. Jungkook's eyes widen in shock from your action. He looks at you horrifyingly.

"How could you?..." you speak unsteadily. Jungkook's still in a daze, trying to comprehend the situation. "I can't believe you lied to me for all these years." You wanted to slap him again, but you couldn't do it. You couldn't hit your best friend anymore. At least for now.

"What... the hell are you talking about?!" he yells half-angry and half-confused.

"You know exactly what, you bastard!" you yell back as loudly. "How could you take advantage of my amnesia for your own desires?!"

That's when Jungkook finally grasps the realization. "How did you?...."

"Jimin told me. He was your friend before, wasn't he? I can't believe how cruel you were back then. Heck, you still are!"

"[Name], I can explain-"

"What's there to explain? I know everything now, Jeon Jungkook." you say, pain showing in your glossy eyes.

It pained Jungkook himself to see you like this. It pained seeing his best friend and all-time love tearing up and bursting out her feelings. All because of him. He felt bad, very bad.

"What? Is your silence telling me that what I said was true? You really have no explaination any more?"

"I'm sorry, [Name]." Jungkook speaks solemnly. He wanted to bring you in his arms and hug you, but he figured he shouldn't. He doesn't even know when he'll ever feel your touch again. When he'll ever earn your trust again.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I know I was selfish, a jerk, a bad friend... But I did all those awful things because I loved you. I loved you too much, it became an obsession. I was drugged." Jungkook confesses from the heart. "Do you know how dreadful it felt like for me to see you act miserable without Jimin? I didn't even realize I would fall for you. I did not see it coming. I guess it naturally just came while I was caring for you more than I have ever had towards anyone."

His words hit you like an arrow.

"I tried my best to make you like me. Not as a friend, but something more than that. As lovers. I tried my very hard for you to return my feelings back whole. But as every step I take, I realized my goal was blurry. I was feeling hopeless. I realized I had no chance with you. Even with me always by your side while Jimin was not... you..." Jungkook begins to cry, and it was honestly the saddest thing you've seen today. "... you still loved that guy.. Park Jimin.."

He pauses for a second to get a grip of himself, but he could not hold in his now overflowing tears. You wanted to tell him it was all right, it was all right to cry. But you know you can't do that.

"And so I gave up. I gave up loving you. Or so I thought." he says briefly. "You just get more beautiful each time and I... I fall harder. Why are you so difficult to reach, [Name]?!" he screams, now facing you with a red face.

You haven't spoken in a while, and it felt like you forgot how to talk. You got too deep in Jungkook's words.

He suddenly grabs your hand and drags you inside his flat. He shuts the door closes by slamming your back into it. He then grabs both of your shoulders and stares at you with blood-shot eyes. "Tell me the fuck why!"

You turn away and closed your eyes. You could not bare to see him like this anymore. It hurts to much. "Jungkook, please..."

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me the reason. Why do you have to make my life so unfair? Why are you so unfair?" Jungkook attacks you with questions. "I have been there for you all this time and you still could not feel the same."

"It's because I learned to love Jimin." you speak softly, afraid of hurting the other male's feelings any further. "Can't you understand me? Do you even try to understand? You answer me this time." you snap, removing his paws off of you. He stays silent as a response. "Love.. love is something you cannot just let go so easily. I may have lost my memories of Jimin, but I do know my feelings for him are still strong as always."

Jungkook sobs like a child, but then he suddenly grabs you and slams his lips against yours.

You realized.

Letting him kiss you was the least thing you could do for him to experience your affection one, last time.

***
:(
p.s: the cover of this book is my face for now (& so are the other books). soz for ruining your eyes, and your feels even more bc of this sad ass chapter.
hi DeHyungforlife .