Dance As The Sun Slips Away (Synyster Gates)

I Am the Fire

  Brian's POV
When we got back to Ohio and said goodbye the kids, I could tell it wasn't easy for Penny. Chloe understood why we were leaving for awhile. "Mom has been hiding in that house for two months and you guys haven't been home in California for over 3 months. We know that you aren't always going to be here." When we left Penny had tears rolling down her cheeks.
"This was harder than I thought to leave the kids, but I know I need to get used to it. "She said.
"Are you sure you want to right now? I don't have to be back for a couple of weeks. It's not easy for me to leave either, they are my family too."
"No, Chloe is right. We have both been stuck here for too long." She said.
"Then let's get Pinkly and get going." I reached over and held her hand.

Penny's POV
It was good to be back in California and out in the world again. I would sometimes have anxiety in crowded places. The therapist said it would take time and that I shouldn't try to avoid those situations. I just didn't know if I was ready to take off on the road again. I wanted to be with Brian and it was something that I used to enjoy. I knew it was something he and I needed to talk out. We were still having therapy sessions via video conferencing. I decided that maybe it was best to talk it out with therapist's help.
"Brian, what do you want Penny to do?" She asked.
"I want her with me, but I don't want her to do anything that will set her back."
"Penny, what do you want to do?"
"I want to go with him, but I am still having anxiety issues around large groups of people. It's hard to avoid that on the road." I said. "I know you told me not to avoid it, but that coupled with being away from home might be too much."
"Well, I hear you both saying you want to do what's best for Penny. We just need to figure out what that is." She said.
"Is there a way for Penny not to go the whole trip? Maybe at the very first and then a few days here and there after that. Brian, how long will you be away?"
"Four months, but I will be back the week before Thanksgiving. I leave again right after that for another couple of weeks."
"Penny, are you ready to travel yet without Brian?" She asked.
"Yes, as long as someone I know stays with me at the airport until I get on the plane and is there to meet me when I get off."
"We can work that out, no problem." Brian said.
"Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Penny are you reasonably comfortable traveling with Brian when he first leaves?"
"Yes."
"Okay, what about going and trying it out for a week? You can decide after that if you want to stay. If you decide to go home, I suggest you consider trying it again after a couple of months. Maybe going with him after Thanksgiving. What do each of you think about that?"
"I think it is worth a try." I looked at Brian.
"I think so too." He smiled.

Brian's POV
Having Penny with me meant a lot, I knew she was really stepping out of her current comfort zone. But leaving her at home alone was out of mine. I hoped she'd make it more than a week and she did. At first it was rough, but when at all possible she never left my side and she was always at the side of the stage with a kiss before the show and a hug after.

I think I had more anxiety than Penny at times. There were a couple of times I would look to the side of the stage and I didn't see her and I was worried, but then I would see her.
The dreams were the worst part. The dream was always basically the same, we would be at one of our houses and Penny and I are in the gazebo dancing I am holding her close and I go to kiss her but she's gone. She just disappears right in my arms. I always woke up right after that. The dream really bothered me, but I didn't tell Penny about it. It was just a crazy dream. It was probably because of almost losing her. I couldn't help holding on to her even tighter when I woke up. I wasn't going to have that luxury when she goes back home. At least I had 3 more weeks before she had to go back go back Mid-October to help Bianca with wedding planning.

The twins were both sick at the end of September so Penny had to go home to help Chloe. It was hard for both of us, we had not been apart since May. Her leaving in three weeks, now became tomorrow. We would not be together again until the week before Thanksgiving.
The night before Penny's flight, we made love and took a shower. She fell asleep in my arms and I watched her sleeping so peacefully. It was going to be so hard to let her go tomorrow. I knew it was going to be hard for her too. I decided to make sure she had something to remember until we were together again.