Dance As The Sun Slips Away (Synyster Gates)

Tension

  Penny's POV
All was good, I had been in a couple of pictures of Brian, but I was usually in the background. I would go out with Val and the other wives, but no one ever paid any attention to me. I even went out as a group with the band. Brian and I always sat apart and were very careful. He would sometimes be in a bad mood when we got home and grumble about looking like he was alone with his girlfriend right there.

I went to Brian's 35th Birthday party. I was always introduced as Val's friend and that seemed to work. There was a DJ and dancing,
Brian came up to me and asked me to dance.
"You know we can't." I said.
"One dance is not going to be a big deal. It's my birthday for fucks sake." He argued.
"One dance, one picture. That's all it takes. It's your birthday and all eyes are on you."
"Penny, this is getting old." He said before walking away. I barely saw Brian the rest of the party, he stayed pretty much with the guys.

He wasn't home when I got there. About a half hour later, I texted him.
"Are you okay? I'm starting to worry."
I knew he was really pissed when he texted back.
"I decided to go for drinks with the guys. You know, people who aren't afraid to be seen with me."
I texted him back
"Please come home, so we can talk. I love you."
No answer. I tried calling him, got voicemail. He's never not spoken to me. I texted Matt.
"Hi Matt, is Brian still with you?"
"Yes. He's pretty drunk and pretty upset. We are trying to get him home."

At 2:00 AM, Matt brought him home, he was plastered.
"Look Matt!! It's my Girlfriend, the one who won't even dance with me on my birthday!"
"Bri, you're hammered. Why don't you sleep it off and you two can talk this out in the morning." Matt said.
"Thanks for getting him home, Matt." I walked over to Brian and was going to help him upstairs. As soon as I touched him he knocked my hand away.
"You can't touch me in public don't touch me now."
"Come up to bed, please." I pleaded.
"Not gonna happen." He slurred.
Matt jumped in, "You can barely stand up. Why don't you and I go in the other room and sit down."
He and Matt left the room, I just stood there trying to figure out what just happened.
Matt came out about 5 minutes later. "He's passed out on the couch. I would just leave him there tonight."
Matt gave me a hug, "It will be okay. Why don't you try to get some sleep?"
"Thanks Matt"

Brian's POV
I woke up on the couch. I shouldn't have went out drinking, but when she wouldn't even dance with me I just lost it. I think this secrecy bothers me more than I wanted to admit. I had to leave for press appearances tomorrow. We won't see each other again until we meet up in Michigan on the anniversary of when we met. I was only able to fly in on Saturday Morning and back out on Sunday. We took off on tour on Monday. That will be the only time I will have off for a month. I was hoping Penny would come to meet me at some of the cities. But I doubt she will, "too risky" she'll say. The more I think about it, the more frustrated I got.
I was deep in thought and didn't hear Penny come into the room.
"Brian? Are you going to speak to me?"
"Sorry, I was thinking, I didn't hear you. Penz, we have to talk."
"I guess we do need to." She said.
I patted the couch, motioning for her to sit next to me. I wrapped my arms around her.
"Penny, I love you and I wish you would trust that. The secrecy is really starting to get to me." I raised her chin and kissed her.
"I need a normal relationship. I want the world to see and know the woman I love, that's you." I looked into those beautiful blue eyes and I could tell she was conflicted.
"I'm not ready yet, Brian. A relationship with you will never be normal. It doesn't matter if it's a secret or not. I love you like I have never known. But I need time."
I let go of her. "I think this tour is a good thing, I think we need time apart, to figure this all out."
She looked like she was going to cry. "See, we can never be normal, "
"What's normal Penny? The man who comes home with his briefcase instead of a guitar case? The husband who at the most goes on a business trip for a few days and then comes home. Everyone has their own normal."
"Trust me, I know about normal relationships, dysfunctional relationships and dangerous relationships. I'm just trying to protect us both."
"Something must have made you like this. I know it isn't just what happened with Jay. You've told me about Chloe's father, you both were too young and got married because of Chloe. He was killed in a car accident after you divorced and Chloe was only 4. But you never talk about your second husband, no one else in you family does either. Tess told me that after your second divorce is when you started sabotaging every relationship, until Jay. So what was the deal with the second guy? I don't even know his name."
"His name is Merlin Cooper and he is the most despicable, vile man on earth. I don't want to talk about him. You need to respect that." I could see anger flaring up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you or make you mad. I am just trying to understand. Whatever happened before, doesn't matter. I am here, I am different, I love you and I'm tired of hiding."
"So what do you suggest we do?" She said.
"I think the next week while we're apart we both need to think about what we want for our future together."
"Are you thinking about breaking up?"
"I am not thinking about breaking up, but we need to work this out or it's going to tear us apart."
"Okay, we're still going to keep in touch while you're gone, right?" She asked.
"Of course we are, I'm just saying that we both need to think when we don't have the pressure of being seen together."
"Okay" She seemed upset.
"It's less than two weeks until our anniversary, we are going to be together then." I kissed her, then looked a her. "I love you Penny, I don't want all this to tear us apart."
"I don't either. I love you too."