Defence

69

- - - - -

After Donghae left, Taecyeon sunk to the ground drawing his knees up to his chest. Leaning his head down against his arm he couldn't find the strength to get back up. All he did throughout the night was cry and cry some more.

He was angry with the fact that Victoria had knocked him out so easily, he was angry that Victoria had pretended everything had been ok when nothing was. He felt so bitter that he grabbed her clothes and tossed them off the couch only to, seconds later, crawl and pick them back up. Hugging them close he sobbed some more. He'd never hurt so much before and he felt as if he'd never be able to wake up to another bright day with the sun shining down on him.

- - - - -

"Victoria passed away two nights ago."

That sentence stung his heart the moment he started onto the road. It had seemed just like yesterday when Victoria had pulled him from work to talk. Why had she thanked him for so much when he had barely done anything for her? Her uncertain expression when he talked about marriage crept into his mind before the image of kissing her after her first date cropped up into his memory. He was weeping before he realized it. Aware of his crazy driving he swerved off the white boundary line into the other lane and stopped at the curb.

"How dare you...how dare you..." he mumbled the words through his sobs.

He would never be able to hold her again nor would he be able to try to give her comfort.

"I've been alone for a long time and I've always taken care of myself. If things didn't happen then why would it happen now?"

Idiot. Victoria wasn't invincible...she was just...stronger than the rest.

Tears continued strolling down his face. She had been so special, so dear to him. He had been willing to do anything for her...but it'd all slipped away when he began wavering toward his mother's proposal of a marriage. Why did he start hurting her then? Why did he start treating her like an object? How much had he burdened her? How much trouble did they give her? For how long...had they tortured her with their own feelings when Victoria knew she couldn't give anything back?

His tears eased a bit when he realized Victoria had been hiding her pain.

- - - - -

"Dear, shouldn't we get Yoona to eat?" her mother asked quietly from the kitchen. "We have to force her to eat...I'm so worried..."

"Just leave her alone," her father said putting an arm around her mother, "it's not easy to forget all that she's been through. Yoona...will be able to pull herself together. Has our daughter ever failed us?"

Her mother didn't reply but leaned against her husband's shoulder.

Back in Yoona's room she lie crying on her bed recalling Victoria's fight with that man. How she had withheld the pain scorching her body when she tried to hold the man back from hurting her. Yoona felt her heart throb. Why couldn't she have done something sooner? If she had been able to jump in successfully she could have helped Victoria pin down that man...but all she had done was stand there in shock. What had she been so scared of? Victoria's torn hand? How ruthless she was against that man? Why hadn't she moved sooner!!

Yoona put a hand over her face trying to muffle her oncoming sobs. Why...did Victoria decide to leave so shortly after their reunion? Why hadn't she given them both some more time to be together? Yoona had been so selfish during that time...chasing Taecyeon...why hadn't she thought about the possibility that maybe Victoria had feelings for him too? Why had she been so blind to it all? Yoona hated herself for being so careless. There were so many things she should have paid attention to when she hadn't.