fearless

Chapter 57: High on Life. Really?

"No shit!" He shouts loudly, over the pounding music in the distance, from the speakers in the back of the bar. I don't like it in here. It's too dark, too loud, too hot. I don't know how Ashton could work in a place like this. It's actually really gross.

I nod. "Let's have a celebratory drink," he says, pulling my rigid body with him through the mass of sweaty bodies, toward the bar. "Because, this, my friend, is definitely worth celebrating."

He winks, and I almost shudder. "But I don't drink, Josh. You know that. I don't like being drunk. The thought of being intoxicated and then waking up hungover the next day just bugs me so much." I say.

He rolls his eyes. "Live a little, Ty. You can't say that you're living your life to the fullest when you're constantly staying at home with Maddie, doing god knows what. You need to live the party life. Even if it is just for a night."

The bass drops in the music, and people around me begin to dance and yell and scream. I curl my shoulders in, wrapping my arms around myself as I hang my head, my eyes closed tightly. "I don't want to live the party life. I just want to talk to my brother. I know he's here somewhere." I say, and Josh only pulls my body further into the never ending darkness of the bar.

I look around, seeing that I'm surrounded by people holding dark brown glass bottles, others holding clear glasses and metal flasks. "You're going to have at least one drink, you fucking party pooper." Josh says to me, then he smirks when a couple of girls smile at me.

No, no, no. I pull away from Josh just as we arrive at the actual bar in the tavern. "Josh, I can't do this. I'm twenty two years old. I'm married. I should be home with my wife and my daughter. I shouldn't be here." I  say, and that's just when Ashton arrives, smirking at me.

"Since when did my brother become a barfly?" He asks as he grabs a couple of shot glasses, then places them in front of Josh and I. He pours some time of liquor in them, and I send him a look of disgust.

"I'm not," I say blandly, then put my head in my hands. "I don't want to be here." I say to myself, quietly enough so that no one else can here over the loud music that booms throughout the room.

"Well, if you're not here to drink, why are you here?" Ashton asks me, pushing the shot glass closer to me. I look at it skeptically, then push my gaze back up to Ashton's eyes. "Hm?" He asks.

"I came here to talk to you, Ashton. It's about Maddie." I tell him and he narrows his eyes, sending me a death glare. He turns around slightly, his gaze not leaving mine, as he puts the bottle of liquor back with the others that line the wall.

"What did you do to my best friend?" He raises an eyebrow. He sounds just like our mother, and, to make things worse, he looks just like her, too.

"I don't know. I pissed her off over something stupid, and I got mad, too, so I left." I'm not about to go into the details of why Maddie would get so upset so easily, so I just leave it at that.

"Don't be an asshole to her, Ty. Maddie's not a normally mean person. She doesn't get pissed easily, either, so, I don't know what you did, but it must've been bad." He says.

"You didn't...cheat on her, did you?" Josh asks from beside me. I turn to look at him, and I stare into his eyes blankly. "Did you?" He asks me again.

I just stare at him for a little while longer, then take in a deep breath. "Why the fuck would I cheat on my wife? Who would do that? That's wrong on so many levels." I say to him tiredly, really wishing that I wasn't here. I sigh, then purse my lips. I place a hand to my forehead, then I sigh. "Sometimes I just feel like I'm not good enough."