fearless

Chapter 22: Training and Tattoos

The Picture above is the tattoo that goes into the chapter later.

Chapter 22:

Training and Tattoos:

Song Of Chapter: Flo Rida: GDFR Feat. sage the Gemini and The Lookas

Chapter Dedication: oliviarose13
Because I didn't know who else to pick for the dedication, and because we have that one inside joke that makes me laugh every time I hear it. -Your Reckless Twin

••••

Tobias Months Later

••••

Jordan's arm is draped around my shoulders as we sit on the ledge of a tall building. He chuckles as he stares at me, and I frown, then look forward at the fireworks that pop in the sky. Jordan soon leans in close to my lips, but I stand up.

Fuck no, I'm not kissing him. Not after he basically cheated on me that night at the Bean sculpture.

"What?" He asks as he moves to stand close to me, his body pressed against mine. It sort of feels nice, but it's not nice. It can't be nice. Not after he cheated on me.

"No, no." I cry.

"What is your problem?" Jordan asks, leading me to the edge of the building. I shake my head. I feel like I'm choking and I can't breathe, so I can't speak. He leans close to my ear. "You used to be such a good girl." He whispers into my ear, and the last firework pops in the air and sizzles before Jordan pushes me off the ledge.

I sit up and gasp. That was the weirdest dream that I've ever had. Why would Jordan push me off the ledge, like that? Hm. I sit up and turn to look at the clock on my wall.

I sigh once I realize that it's dark and I can't see anything. In my apartment, it's still underground, barely ground level, so the windows, which there are hardly any of, are near the ceiling.

I turn on my lamp, then cover my eyes because it's so bright. I glance up at the clock and see that it's eight o'clock. My shift starts in about an hour. I yawn, then lay back down once I turn the blinding lamp off.

I stretch out on the large mattress, staring up at the dark ceiling. Everything is black. I can't see anything. I close my eyes, and am rewarded with more black, more darkness.

"Today will be a good day." I tell myself, then release a breath before sitting up.

I have to remind myself that everyday since I've seemed to have hit a low point, and indeed, today will be a good day.

I stumble over to my bedroom door, then step out into the hallway. I walk down the stairs and make my way into the kitchen. I don't know why, but for some reason, I almost cry. I sometimes think that waking up to someone smiling at you would be nice, someone waking you up and kissing you would be nice.

I miss being held by someone, I miss feeling someone's touch and then touching someone else.

I don't like living alone. I don't like being alone. Loneliness seems to be my killer, and I'm scared that I'm going to die if I keep living my life like this.

I've got to change.

••

As I'm walking into the Tattoo Parlor for my normal shift, Tori calls for me. "Hey, uh, Maddie." She says, setting down her cans of ink and needles.