Please, Remember The Bench (BY: Book 3)

Zombie!

Stef's POV

It was true that our third date didn't go too well. I did feel sad to learn that I had taken off my wedding ring at one point, it got me a bit confused because I don't see Lena hurting me that bad... but I guess it was another time, I don't know exactly how I felt in the moment, I don't remember how Lena was. I just know the person she is now, and from what people say when they talk about her, that's the person I fell in love with, what she is now, is what she was prior to her job at the State Assembly, I think.

During the date I also felt a little rejected and that's when I understood the risk that I'm taking as I'm falling in love with her... yes, because I am, I'm falling in love with Lena and that is dangerous because I saw how painful that could be. I felt it when she flirted with that woman at the bar. I felt it when she said that she wasn't married...

I know she was just messing with me, she was kidding and trying to prove that I was jealous, the rational part of my brain knows that... but the emotional part felt rejected... and I've been rejected several times in my life, because I was awkward and weird all the time, but feeling rejection coming from her was... like... I don't know... I felt it in my body...

That should give me the hand up that maybe it's a bad idea to fall in love with her, or anyone else for that matter, yet when she smiles at me... when she looks at me... I just can't stop, it's like a drug, it feels so damn good, and the movement in my heart when those things happen, it's like I'm high or something, and I can't get enough of it, enough of her, enough of that peace that she brings into me.

So here we are on our fourth date... Lena is stunning as always even though for that one we went a little simpler on the dress code since we decided to go watch a movie. It was a comedy, and we had a good laugh and so now we are going to eat something at Taco Bell or something like that.

We were chatting casually, laughing again about what happened in the movie when Lena's face light up.

"Oh! Okay! Can we take a break on our date rules, so that I can tell you about the first time we kissed?" she says excited as I was actually curious about that one since it's been a while that I'm trying to kiss her ... I wouldn't mind a little help, maybe from my me from the past.

"Oh yes, go head." I say, trying not so show that I'm very eager to learn about that one.

"Okay, well we were going on a date as "friends", you know. And you said that we were going to see a movie, but of course you didn't tell me what it was, and I found out only when we were in front of the cinema. I was horrified because it was a horror movie and I hate those which you knew, but you convinced me to see it anyway because "you've never watch one with a cop, what can happen?" you said." Lena says imitating me, which was hilarious since I don't think I sound like that at all.

"Oh, I was good huh?" I say for I'm pretty proud that I could make her do a thing that she didn't want to do initially but that she did anyway just because she liked me.

"You were mean, that movie was horrible with zombies and blood and flesh everywhere, I was so scared, and I screamed my head off while you were just laughing at me the whole time." She says smiling so damn wide at me, that it doesn't seem she had a bad time.

"When you say it like that, it feels like you liked it though." I say softly as her face soften and she became a little shy.

"Well yeah... I mean, it was with you, and you held my hand so I... I did like it." she says shyly and almost blushing and that was the cutest thing ever.

"Did you kiss me, or did I kiss you?" I ask for I was so eager to know.

"You did actually... after the movie we went to dinner and then you dropped me back to my apartment... I had already told you that I was planning on leaving my girlfriend at the time and..." she says  before I cut her off.

"Wait, wait, wait... you had a girlfriend? I kissed you knowing that you had a girlfriend?" I ask, for that doesn't sounds like me at all.

"Yes... and I had told you that I was going to break up with her, which is what I did the night that you kissed me. It wasn't that serious between her and me... I... you and I, we just... we fell in love with each other... we couldn't help it..." she says now sounding nostalgic of those times.

"Okay... I understand. Keep going, love." I say softly, glad that this is clarify and that we didn't start our relationship with an affair.

"Well, so... oh yes! So you walked me to the entrance of my building and I was searching for my keys in my purse and that's when you decided to scare me by screaming something like "ZOMBIE!". I swear I wanted to murder you. I was already triggered by that horrible movie, so of course I pouted at you."

"Seriously, for that, you pouted at me?" I ask, for that was nothing, I could do way worst, I probably did.

"Yes! You scared me!" she says just like she was reliving the whole thing as I shake my head. It was bittersweet because I wish I could remember, but at the same time it's nice to hear about us, what we were, and just see the joy on Lena's face.

"So I pouted at you, and then you tried to get me to talk and when you couldn't, you just... you just leaned in and kissed me... it last just a few seconds and I was surprised but... my whole being like... lighted up or something... it was like I was recognizing my soulmate... it... it made my heart beat faster than it ever did..." she says, smiling so beautifully...

Lena and I, at that moment, locked eyes. I was feeling the love inside of me growing and growing for that woman... it was insane how beautiful she was, but the most amazing thing about her was her soul... how good she can make me feel just by staying there, with me, looking deep into my eyes.

"What happened after?" I ask, breaking the intense silence between us.

"Oh you... you ran away from me..." she says tenderly and with... with compassion into her eyes.

"Oh..."

"Yeah. It was hard for you at that time. You were kind of discovering that you were gay, and you didn't want to be, you didn't want to accept it... it took a lot of time before you could make peace with this... still does at times..." she says, sounding sad for me.

"Why are you sad?" I ask her.

"Because I... I always wished that I could just make it easier for you... make your pain go away so that you would forever be happy with yourself. I wanted to... to heal you... But I... I never could... I'll never stop trying though..." she says smiling a little at the end of her sentence as I smiled at her too.

"Thanks for always trying, Lena." I say, and as we locked eyes again, I take her hand into mine to bring it to my lips and kiss it softly.

"Does that mean cinema is the way to get a kiss from you?" I ask playfully, but still hoping that today would be the day.

"Well, you'll have to try to find out..." she says with nonchalance.

And I did try that night... just tried... for when my lips almost, almost reached hers, almost touched hers...

"Not yet..." she whispered before pulling away as I almost stopped breathing and it was literally killing me, and I was starting to feel something down there, and also lose patience if I'm honest. But she's the one deciding, and she was clearly worth the wait...