Please, Remember The Bench (BY: Book 3)

Who Will Be There?

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Lena's POV

Three weeks that I haven't see Stef and my daughter face to face. All we do these days is face time, which is not that great since it very, very short times. I barely have the time to talk.

I can feel that Kamaya is starting to get tired of this situation. She's not that enthusiastic when she talks to me anymore. She doesn't smile that much, and Stef actually need to call for her many times to get her on the phone.

I know I have some make up to do with her, and that I need to come back to San Diego in order to reconquer my daughter's heart.

I can feel that Stef is not that happy with me either, and she tells me constantly that I need to come back home for at least a few days and disconnected from work and this time for real. She tells me every time I call that I really need to make time for them if I want to keep my family intact.

But that is so easier to say than to do for I absolutely agree with her, but the logistic of it doesn't work. I can't leave work like that. I can't disconnect just like that, I took an engagement, and I have to stick to it, I have enormous responsibilities, and in this case, I can't put my family first unfortunately.

Stef says that I'm in denial, and that I'm completely blinded by the success that I have and the status of power that is mine. She didn't say that in a critical way, she said it as if she was trying to open my eyes, but I honestly was barely listening to her, because as I was talking to her, I had one eye on my computer, reading a new law proposition.

That was the only way she could have time to say everything she had to say. So I admit that her lecture wasn't really useful to me, but I think that at least she got it out, and maybe that only, got a weight off her chest.

She sneaked into one of the quick conversations that we had that she had a little reunion with Tess, and that they decided to be friend again. When she said this, my heart kind of jumped a little at first, but then I figured that I wasn't going to say anything because I trust my wife. She would never step out on me, simply because she's not like this, and because she loves me more than anything, she proved it every single day of our life, so I own her that trust and faith that I have in her.

Now Tess's intentions are another story, I don't really know what to think, because the last time I saw her she was kind of trying to intrude my marriage and my family, but I guess that this was a long time ago so if now she wants to get her friend back, I don't really see any objection.

However, I know that I have to be a bit more attentive to that because, yes Stef is smart enough to detect if Tess is a danger to our marriage or not, but I senses years ago that Tess was smart enough to sneak around and manipulate her people a little. I don't think that she was doing it intentionally, I don't think she's bad or whatever, but I do have a few doubts that I will probably clarify when I'll be back home, I mean... if I have time.

I was about to jump into the shower before getting back to the work I have to do on my computer when I heard my phone going off.

It was Stef, and since it wasn't really the time, she usual call, I decided to respond for maybe something is happening with Kamaya.

"Hey baby, what's up?" I say as I don't hear any respond at the other end.

"Stef? Are you there?" I ask feeling like something might actually be wrong.

"Yes, I'm... I'm here, I just..." I hear Stef's sensitive voice over the phone, and I immediately got worried.

"What? What is it baby? Are you okay? Kamaya?" I ask for I don't like not knowing at all.

"No, no Kamaya's fine. It's me, I... my women shelter had been shut down today... I lost it, Lena, all this people, all those abused women who desperately needed it, I... I feel like I failed them, I was in charge and I... but I... I mean I just wanted to hear your voice, I just wanted to hear you..." she cries now as I hate being away in those moment, especially when I don't have much time here to give to her.

"Aww baby, I'm so sorry. You worked so hard on this... I don't know what to say..." I say for I would love to be near her and take her into my arms because I know how she is. She cries with me, but she will show a solid front in front of everyone else. I know I am the only safe place that she has to get her emotions out.

"I... could you just... could you come home, please? I... I know you're busy, and I know you can't always leave work, but... just this time? I really need you babe... I need... I need to feel you Lena... please..." she says, her voice weaker than ever, cracking more at each word and my heart is beating so hard into my chest, because I have to tell her no... I don't want to, I want to be with her, be there for her, but I have to say no.

"Oh honey... My love, I... I can't... There's a big meeting tomorrow and I can't miss it... I'm sorry." I say, feeling so bad about this because I know Stef doesn't make herself vulnerable that often, that she does it only with me, and that when she feels like that, I'm the one able to comfort her and make her feel better, and keep her going, but this time... I'm not here, and she will have to deal with her feelings alone. I don't like it, I don't want it but... that's just the way it is.

"Lena, please... could you just chose me for once? Could you do that for me, your wife?" she says with despair in her voice, but I have to be firm with her. She's being needy right now, and I'm not use to that kind of behavior coming from her, I don't know what's going on with her, but I don't have time for this.

"Stef come on; you have to understand. I can't leave my responsibilities here every time that you have a bad day." I blurt out, and the second I said it, I knew I shouldn't have said such thing, but I was so damn tired. I still have so much work waiting for me after my shower that I don't have much patience and energy for her.

"You know, you're right. You can't be there for me because you have a very important job. I got the message loud and clear. Just tell me one thing; one day, when you won't be able to work anymore, when you will have lost all of your friends because you were never there, tell me who is going to be there for you. Is that important job of yours gonna be there for you Lena?" she says with such hurt in her voice, like never I heard that pain in voice before, but again she's an adult and she can handle herself.

"Stef, I don't have time for your hypothetical questions, or your sarcasms. I'm sorry that this is happening to you, and I which I could be there because you're indeed my wife and I love you. However, the fact is, I have a job here to do, a number of people that you can't even imagine are counting on me, so I can't come just to comfort you right now. I love you Stef, I do, it's just not a good time. And I'm very sorry for that." I say very honestly.

"Keep telling yourself that. I know you, Lena, you're a smart woman, and one day you will wake up from your denial, and that day, I honestly don't know if I'll still be here." she says as I'm a little bit taken aback from that statement for, did she just threaten me?

"Are you serious right now? ... Stef?! Stef?!" I start to raise my voice when I realize that she just hangs up on me. I'm really disappointed in her at that moment because yes, we're having a rough patch right now, but she can't just question everything just because I have the job that I have.