Please, Remember The Bench (BY: Book 3)

You Love Yoga

Stef's POV

"Oh man, you just got out of the hospital and you're already pissing her off." Mikes says with a smirk as he enters the room and I'm almost shocked at the sight.

"Oh my God, you got old too?!" I exclaim, for he has now white and grey hair, lines and just his appearance has change.

I swear I can't get over this ... and don't even get me started about when I saw my own face in the mirror... it is a nightmare, and a struggle and now I'm so self-conscious about my body, my lines, my weight, everything... I have scars that I don't even know where it comes from, tattoos, piercings... I mean... fuck my life.

"Well thanks for that!" Mike smiles at me as he comes sit next to me in the bed and it feels so good to see a familiar face for once... I needed that.

"Sorry..." I say for maybe I'm a bit offensive sometimes... I'm so angry at world, that sometimes I don't watch my mouth with people, and I admit especially with Lena...

"That's okay, I... I guess it must be a shock. I get it... you're okay, though?" he asks as I almost want to cry, but no way I'm gonna cry in front of him, or in front of anyone for that matter.

"Yes, yeah... I'm okay... you?" I ask for well... I want to know. I want to know what happened between us.

"I'm good... just... you know, you scared us..." he admits almost shyly as I smile at him... I love him so much.

"I know..." I say, still struggling with what happened to me.

"But, hey, I'm glad you're okay now. The memory you know... well, it could come back, right?" he says, trying to be reassuring, but I'm not reassured at all, and I don't think I ever will be for how do I get over this? Losing my life...

"It's so odd, you know... like a week ago, I was still married to you and now... now... apparently, I'm a lesbian, and did you see the bunch of kids I have? I mean, what came into me? Not that I regret them, it's not that... it's just... how?"

"Ha, don't ask me! If it comforts you, you were thinking the same thing even with your memory intact. But you know, you love those kids to death. You couldn't help yourself, you had to take them all in... you're the one who brought most of them home, you know. You gave Brandon a lot of siblings, and I don't know if they told you, but I gave him two more... with... well, with your twins' birth mother actually..." he says as I'm speechless at this point... I mean mom told me that Mike had two little girls now, but she didn't tell me with whom.

"Yeah, I know... Brandon's mother-in-law calls our family "interesting"." Mike laughs as I laugh too, because well... I have a hell of a family...

Then there was a little silence for there's so much so say, to ask, and it's like that with everybody else, and it's a lot for me to take.

"Mike... did I hurt you?" I ask for that very question have been haunting me since Brandon told me that I have been with Lena since he was five, that mean I probably left Mike for her, and I... I can't understand how I was capable of doing that to him.

"Stef..." he says, not really wanting to go there.

"Please... I need to know. Tell me." I plead a bit.

"You did... but you know I wasn't a gift either. You weren't happy with me, we fought all the time, and I did hurt you too. I... I'm not proud to admit it, but I wanted to hurt you so bad that I tried to get B away from you..." he says with so much remorse in his voice, but... I did this to him.

"I hurt you first, of course you wanted to hurt me back..." I say as he looks right into my eyes now, guilt written all over his face.

"No Stef... you didn't hurt me on purpose. You were gay... you couldn't do anything about that. You had to left me to be happy, to be yourself, it would have been worst if we had stayed married... but I wanted to hurt you on purpose... it was me... I was... bitter, and... and drunk all the time... it would have never work, it wasn't mean to be, Stef. I'm just glad we had Brandon before you met Lena and realized that you were gay." He says, and it's like we didn't talk much about this, he's saying this like he has forgiven me.