Please, Remember The Bench (BY: Book 3)

I Quitted

Lena's POV

After preparing the house for Stef's arrival with the kids' help, we decided to put up a little party to welcome her home.

During those few days, I hired people to do some home update, for I know that woman, she's stubborn and proud and there are things that she won't be able to do alone, but that she won't accept my help for, so I tried to make the home easier to navigate for her, as much as possible. I put bars here and there, where I judged that she could need it, like in the bathroom and stuff like that.

I know she would be like this only for a few weeks, but hey we're getting old, so those bars would be useful one day.

Of course every day, I went to see her, along with the kids, and she did try to talk with them, she had at least a little word for each one of them, and I knew it would have been the case for she always has been a mother before anything else and if her mom and Brandon tell her that that's all of her kids, she treats them that way, and tries to create a bound with them even though she doesn't remember them.

She doesn't say much to me though, in fact she doesn't speak to me at all, I've barely got a glace... it hurts but I know she's angry for what happened to her, and if I have to be her punching ball, then so be it. It's my fault she got into this accident anyway so I'll take it, I can handle it as long as she's here with us all.

To pick her up from the hospital, I went alone though. Thankfully a nurse was there to help her into the car for I'm not sure she would have let me touch her. She now has to have crutches and a large splint that prevents her from bending her leg so it's difficult for her to move, also she still as to rest a lot because a head injury plus a memory loss is not nothing so she has to be careful and so am I.

But the drive is... the drive is silence and awkward and I... I just hate it so much.

"Does...hum does your leg hurt?" I ask looking at her briefly before I look back to the road.

"Just a little. It's nothing." She says, and that was to be expected...

"It's not nothing Stef, it was broken so you have to be careful and follow the doctor's instructions." I say, for that's how we work. She gets injured, we go to the doctor, they give her instructions that she has no intention to follow, and I fight her on it so that she'd follow them anyway.

"You're not my mother." She says and I know that I'm going to get on her nerve's multiple times, but I don't have much choice.

"No, I'm your wife and I just want you to be okay." I say as she sighs deeply.

"Would you please stop calling yourself my wife... it's... I'm not gay, okay?" she says as this was going to be hard... going through that process all over again... that church and well... her father really messed that up for her, and it took so long for her to come to term with it, and now... it's like starting all over again.

"Stef... at one point, you'll have to accept it... I know that topic is hard for you, I know what your father did to you, that he sent you to church and all, but..." I start, when she cuts me off.

"How... how do you know that? I don't talk about that; I've never said that to anyone." She says as I sigh because this is so complicated...

"We've always told each other everything... I know everything of you and you... I told you everything as well..." I say wishing with all my heart that she was still that woman, but right now she's not... I hope she's somewhere in there though.

"I... I don't remember you..." she states kind of firmly as if I didn't know that... if she remembered me, she would never talk to me like she has been...

"I know, but I do remember you and us... and I just... I just hope you'll give me a chance." I say for it seems like she doesn't like me at all.

At that she stays quiet, and I can't say it doesn't hurt, but I'll be there for her no matter what.

We finally arrived home and I can tell she's lost and well... impressed by the size of the house. It's true that it is big, and with the big yard, plus the guest house, it always makes quite an impression.

"I... I live there. I... I'm just a cop. Wait... what do you do again?" she says as if she already asked me, but no she didn't show any interest in me, but I wasn't going to point it out.

"You do live here. And you're not a cop anymore, you're a social worker now and a very good one. And I'm... I mean... I was a member of the State Assembly..." I say hesitantly and feeling guilty a bit more at the mention of that job that literally ruined my marriage with her.

"Oh wow, that's... that's a very big job... so you... you pay for the house, because... I mean, there's no way a social worker salary can afford that thing." she says, totally honestly, she doesn't bite her tongue, I know that about her so I can't take offence, she doesn't know what leaded us here.

"I don't pay all of it, we do that together, we have a common account and we put what we can on it, and we use that for life expenses as well. We've always worked like this." I clarified.

"Why... hum... why am I not a cop anymore?" she asks as I notice that she feels embarrassed to ask me questions, that she clearly doesn't want to, but I know her need to know everything is stronger than that, and for once it's something that is going to help us.

"Well, it's a very long story, but it was mostly because you didn't feel good in your job at one point. You know, you made detective and you loved it, you always loved to help people but you were in the human traffic department and that was... it was too much, you couldn't bare seeing those kids... like... it was too much and other stuff was going on and you started to have panic attacks and... it just wasn't for you anymore so you gave your demission and start to work in a woman shelter that you actually opened yourself and other social projects. Unfortunately, your woman shelter got shut down not that long ago... you were devastated..." I say remembering that phone call when she asks me to choose her and be there for her, come back to her, and Stef doesn't ask for support verbally that often, and this time she did and I... I didn't come...

"But you know what... if you want to, I'll help you open another one... when you'll feel better... if you want, of course." I say, feeling like this one mistake in particular need some repair, I need to make up for how poorly I handled this situation.

"I... I don't know... what about your job at the Assembly?" she asks.

"I... I quitted, so that won't be an issue." I state honestly as she looks shocked at me.

"Wait... who quits the State Assembly? Why did you do that?" she asks, and if she knew she will hate me and I can't have her hating me just yet, because she needs help right now.

"I... I think we can talk about it later. The kids are so eager to see you." I say, smiling at her before I get out of the car to go around, open the truck to grab her crutches.

She has already opened the door and I know she desperately wish she could get out herself, but she can't, so she has no other choice but to take my hand.

Her hand in mine feel amazing, just on touch of her and my heart melts like nothing else, her smell so close to me again... but she's proud so she tries to immediately grab one crutch from my hand and miss falling as I catch her.

"Stef! Be careful please!" I can't help but raise my voice a little because I got scared.

"I can do it myself!" she says as I look hard into her angry eyes.

"You still need help. You have to let me help you." I say as I'm still holding her body, but she quickly grabs the two crutches under my arm.

"I don't want your help." She says frustrated, getting a little tangled before being able to hold them properly.

"Well, I'm not giving you a choice! Now let's go." I say, having enough of it already and I know that I have to be very patient, much more patient than that because she's going to be a challenge for sure as l let her struggle to get to the door.

It was so hard not to do anything to help her, hold her arm or something but she doesn't let me. So I stay next to her, hoping that I would be able to catch her if she falls, but it was so very hard...