The Hockey Player (Matt Sturniolo)

Lisa's House (2)

Trigger Warning: this chapter contains depicting sexual assault which may be triggering and unsuitable for all readers.

Aurora's POV

I really said that, didn't I?

I told a room of strangers...something I never told my parents. Something I didn't want to think about and wished it didn't exist. Something deep, dark and embarrassing.

And I couldn't take it back.
Did I want to?

I bit my lip.

No. No I don't.
Because it's holding me back.

Despite how the softest voice escaped me, and I wasn't sure how much speaking strength I had in me, my internal resolve shifted. All these years, I thought I moved past my trauma because it was in the past. Maybe my awareness sharpened since my eyes were shut, but a sensation glowed inside me. I assumed that time erased details into memories.

I was very, very wrong.

The nightmares came back because I wasn't able to move past them. For the first time in three years, I craved closure.

As soon as I can open my eyes.

The weight of twenty two eyes, squeezed mine tighter. No one spoke. Not a single sound except light coughs broke through the silence I created.

Lisa whispered in my ear. "Take your time"

Take my time. I didn't take my time, I wasted it with sleepless nights and hours circling through unanswered questions. Why were my nightmares happening and how can I make them stop? I didn't know if the answers were here, but I was willing to ask.

I didn't feel ready, but when I opened my eyes, everyone blurred into focus. My gaze never felt heavier when I looked up. I met Pam's gaze first because she sat across from me. Some people expressed surprise, shock or sadness, but no one was judging.

A warm hand returned to my shoulder. "Thank you, Prudence" she leaned over and whispered. "I don't normally do this, but since you were open and brave, do you want to share your story?"

No? I took a deep breath. How do I do this? Think, Aurora.

My heart blocked out thoughts and my shoulders shook. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a shaky breath. How could I do this? Spill the story to strangers? They were lovely, but what would they say or think?

I could do this. I explained it to Matt yesterday.

Looking down, I bit my lip. I twisted my fingers until a warm hand rested on top of mine. Sarah's. A girl who experienced this three days ago, offered me support. I was the biggest asshole if I didn't draw from her strength.

"I'm a senior in high school" I started. "My brother plays hockey. During our first year, he invited me to a party where I met a senior hockey player" I bit my lip again, not wanting to give details of him away. "I thought he liked me. He was my first kiss"

I saw Jack, how he kissed me on the party house stairs. His hands around my waist, his words were soft and his charming smile was on me, like I was the only girl in the room. "Before I knew it, he was drunk and on top of me..."

That night's events unfolded, giving me goosebumps. I blinked and took a shaky breath. "He held me down, stuck his fingers inside of me, and threatened to stick himself in here" I pointed to my mouth. "We were interrupted. I fought him off me enough to get out before something bad happened"

The air was thick with silent pressure. Unsure of what to do with my hands, I slid them under my legs and curled my fingers on the edge of the chair. My cheeks warmed and I couldn't lift my eyes from the ground.