A Collection of Short Stories

2

We migrated over to the gazebo and sat about a foot apart. This is actually the closest I've ever been to her, relatively speaking. "So" I prompt and she takes a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh. "How old are you?" She asks, "20" I answer and she nods. "Well, for starters, my partner died about five years ago. That was sorta the start of it all" she tells quietly.

I know I shouldn't assume but I notice that she said 'partner' instead of husband. That peaks my curiosity, but I obviously don't ask about it. "In all honesty, it just brought a lot of things up that I'd forgotten about. I've never been one for medications but I thought therapy might help. So I did that, I'm still doing that, and I do feel better but not... whole" she poses and I nod.

"I know it sounds really stupid that I haven't gotten over it yet. I mean it's almost been half a decade but... it's just hard" she confesses. "It's not stupid, I understand" I offer and reach out for her hand. She looks at me and intertwines our fingers, glancing down and playing with them.

"My grandma, well great-grandma, died nine years ago. Right after my brother was born actually, and I haven't seemed to let it go yet. She was such a big part of my life, and I feel like she was the only person who understood and accepted me for who I was. Granted I didn't really know who I was at eleven, but she supported me through everything" I recall.

"I'm sorry" Shelby pouts, "don't be. It gets better, but it definitely gets worse first. I mean I spent, I don't know how many years just disconnected. It didn't help that I felt alone, like no one was grieving her loss they way I did. It seemed like everyone moved on really fast and I was just... stuck" I say.

"I know what you mean" the blonde sighs, "yeah. It was certainly a hard time for everyone and they all expressed it differently. Just like you, it brought up things for me I didn't even know hurt me so much. Changed me as a person. Without her there to, essentially, distract me and solve every conflict. I was lost for a really long time" I remember.

"I ended up going to therapy and, looking back, I don't think I should've. I opened up wounds I wasn't ready or prepared to deal with. My mom made me stop and I was so angry at her for years. Until I decided to go back, once I was old enough. Even then it took me a while to let it go because of everything else it brought up. Once you go down the rabbit hole it feels like it'll never stop. I remembered things I didn't even know happened. It was a lot" I admit.

"So, I get it. I may not be as... 'experienced' in terms of the length of my life. But I've seen and heard... and felt a lot of things" I add. "I didn't know you were so..." she scrambles for words, "nice" I chuckle. "No, not that. I knew you were sweet, even when you weren't to me. I guess I understood that it wasn't really about me. I'm just surprised you're as... stable as you are?" She questions.

"Oh I'm far from stable" I giggle, "it's a process. Even after you 'heal' there's always more work to do. It never stops, though I wish I could say it did, I haven't gotten to that point. I don't think you ever stop evolving" I hypothesize. "I feel dumb for asking but... you really think it gets better? The grief... the emptiness" she sighs sadly.

"If I'm honest. Yes and no. I think the acceptance stage of grief is bullshit. You never 'accept' that someone you love and cherish is just gone. You just learn how to manage it better, whatever your reason for that may be" I express sincerely. She's quiet for a while and I turn to look at her seeing tears in her eyes.

"Hey, it's ok" I whisper, wiping her tears with my thumb. "D- What if I..." she trails off, looking away from me. "What if you feel like you don't have anything to live for?" I finish for her and she nods, "then you find a reason. There's always a reason just around the corner" I state. "What's your reason?" She asks curiously and I have to think about it for a minute.

"Well... I don't always think of it. Any time I need one, I sort of just make one up. It's typically different each time..." I mumble. "I guess my reason would be... because I owe to myself. I owe it to the little girl in me to see it though and not give up. It has to get better, right? I mean this isn't all there is to life. There are plenty of happy people" I think out loud.

"I guess... but that feels a long way away" she sniffles. "I'm not saying this is a good idea by any means. But until you find a reason for yourself you can... live for someone else. All the times I thought about it... I thought about my best friend. What would she do with me? I can't imagine my life without her and vice versa. So even when I can't find a concrete reason, I think of the people in my life" I suggest.

"I don't have anyone... not anyone I really care for that actually cares about me too" she cries. "Well you have me" I say pulling her into my side and wrapping my arms around her. Stroking her hair and placing a kiss on her head. "Anytime you need someone, you call me" I insist. "I can't do that..." she sniffles, trying to pull away from my grip.

I let her pull back and I hold her by her shoulders, looking into her eyes. "Sure you can. I'm here for you, any time... day or night. I mean that" I stress. She stares into my eyes and bites her lip, momentarily pulling my attention away from her eyes. I quickly gather myself and smile. "You're too good for this world" she whispers.

"I know. But there's amazing people like you in this world. People who need someone to count on, so maybe that's why I'm here" I smirk. She sighs contently and wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me into a tight hug. "FRANCESCA" I hear my mom yell, "ouuhhh the devil calls..." I whisper wiggling my finger in front of Shelby.

She giggles and wipes the remainder of her tears. "I've gotta go unfortunately. You can stay out here or go home. I'll come up with something for me mom" I offer. "Yeah I think I'll head back" she whispers, still staring into my eyes. It's quiet for a while as she just look at each other until I snap out of it. "Let me see your phone" I reach out my hand and she gives it to me.

I put my number in, saving it under Frankie and hand it back to her. "FRANCESCA NICOLE BELLINI" my moms screams again. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE MY GOVERNMENT NAME, I'M COMING" I scream back. "Sorry. Call or text whenever" I say, giving her a kiss on the cheek before running off.