A Collection of Short Stories

5

I suggested that we go back to the hotel after her breathing had slowed. Not only to give her time to further collect herself, but also for me. I needed time to think about what I was going to stay to her. I need to choose my words carefully. Not just that, I also am determined to keep myself composed.

Being an agent has its perks but also downfalls. In these past years I've been so focused on my job that I haven't had a personal life. Any time I get for myself, I spend alone. Mostly because the majority of my time is spent in other peoples heads. Any social interaction kinda feels like work for me.

I never had to learn to differentiate the two because I didn't have many friends to begin with. The one person I do talk to, we talk maybe once a month. It works for our careers and busy schedules. With her I don't have to try because we already know each other so well. I'm never anticipating her next move and vice versa.

So, needless to say, his is a whole new ballpark for me. We reach the hotel and spend the ride up, like many others, in silence. Yet this time the silence feels suffocating. I can tell she wants to fill the space but doesn't know how. Not because of my expertise, but because I feel it too.

The elevator dings and the door slides open releasing us from the small hell. We walk down the hall and she stood in front of her door. Staring at it before sniffling and taking a deep breath. "Are you coming in?" She asks in a voice that was supposed to be composed but end up coming out more like a hiccup.

"Yes" I reply and she nods, pulling out the card and unlocking the door with a click. Opening it she holds it for me to enter before letting it close slowly. The click as it locks bringing both of us back it seems. She discards her bag and I walk further in the room. Involuntarily surveying and analyzing every piece of information.

Her bag was still packed, neatly placed on the couch. Any necessary personal items on the table next to it. A glance into the bathroom showed there was nothing other than the untouched provided products on the counter. This whole time she's been ready to go. Despite how nonchalant she seems, about everything, she really is scared.

I turn to her to see her fiddling with her hands as she watches me. Her hands falling to her sides as I turn fully but she plays with a loop on her jeans. "When did you know?" I ask, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "The whole time. From the first time I met you" she admits and I chuckle.

"What's funny?" She asks defensively and I smile at her natural demeanor returning. "You'd think I would've known. I mean... it's my job" I shake my head softly. "Well I am hard to read" she comments and I chuckle again but quickly explain this time. "Not really. Not as much as you might think anyway" I reply.

I feel the bed dip slowly next to me signifying that she's taken the space. "See you're actually a very simply enigma" I turn to say. "That makes no sense" she says furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. This is the most expression I've gotten from her ever. In this last half hour, I've witnessed more than the entire time we've known each other.

"Well, for starters, you come off as cold and unwavering. Despite that, there's a whole sea of emotions swimming just beneath the surface. You are constantly at war with yourself so you don't let your heart cloud your mind. You feel like you have to be tough and strong, but there's strength in feeling too" I say.

I see her eyes water a bit but she blinks then away as fast as they came. "And you second guess yourself, and others, a lot. You're extremely afraid of failure... of rejection" I slowly bring us back to our point. I see her swallow a lump in her throat as she looks at me. Forcing herself not to look away as she probably knows by now that I require eye contact.

I stand up only to sit down closer to her and her breath hitches. She holds it in and I rest my hand against her cheek so she exhales. Once I hear her inhale again I fully cup her cheek. "You've convinced yourself that you always need to be in control, that you like it..." I say softly.

"But I can see it in your eyes... you want someone to take over for once. You want to feel safe and cared for, enough to finally relinquish it all. I can do that for you... I'm here" I whisper. Her bottom lip trembles as she lets out an unsteady breath. "Really?" She asks in a small voice, "really" I reassure her.

She sniffles and I smile at how cute she looks when her nose scrunches. "Would you kiss me now?" She whispers, "I'd be honored" I grin. She smiled shyly and I lean in pressing our lips together gently. My other hand raises from the bed to rest on her waist. Her hands, previously in her lap, reach out to my neck.

Her thumbs running soothingly back and forth on my jawline. I pull away as the air becomes too scarce and look into her eyes. They light up in a way I've never seen before and I smile widely. "Best undercover mission ever" she giggles, "definitely" I whisper funnily.