As It Was *Complete*

73. Making Things Worse

Soon after Remus took Teddy off to bed, Astra began to yawn and could feel her own eyes growing heavy. "I think I might head off to bed too," she said trying to stop another yawn coming through...unsuccessfully.

"Just let me finish this game and I will take you up," Draco said turning to look at her. He was leaning over a chess board playing a very intense game with Harry. Both boys were practically sweating and looked to be concentrating hard.

"You stay and finish," Astra shrugged. "Take as long as you want. I will be asleep in two minutes anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Good night everyone," she smiled as she left the room. Sirius and Andromeda were both chatting happily in the corner and Esme, Maddi and Narcissa were looking through a magazine and talking about fashion, and styles for the New Year's Eve ball.

Severus stood up. "I will walk you up." he smiled. "I want to say goodnight properly." He nodded and followed her out of the room and up the stairs.

She opened her bedroom door and walked in turning to sit on her bed as Severus lingered by the doorway. He looked nervous and a little lost.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

"I just wanted to....well I wanted to say something." he said not quite meeting her eye.

"Fire away," she smiled and patted the bed next to her. He walked over and sat down sighing heavily.

"I just wanted to say how grateful I am to have you back in my life." He said playing with the cuff of his jumper to distract himself. "As soon as I realised who you were, I wanted to run and tell you everything. Last year, I honestly lost count of the times that I paced my office thinking of what to say and how to go about letting you know."

Astra nodded along, her heart beating madly.

"But with the war, and the fact that I was so closely being watched. That there were still those in Voldemort's inner circle who believed I was not loyal and I was afraid they would find out about you and either force you to join the Death Eaters, like Draco or they would threaten to harm you to get me to follow orders. You were safer not knowing. But it broke my heart."

Astra lifted his hand to stop him from putting a whole in it and held his hand in her own.

"I am delighted that we are free now and that you know everything. I have no more secrets. I want us to be a family. A proper family and I am so excited for this new chapter that we are entering. You gave me the best gift when you accepted me and now you are making me a grandfather." He squeezed her hand. "I never thought I would have a family. I thought I would be alone forever. But now...well you have saved me Astra. You have given me something to live for. You have made my life worthwhile and it has been a joy to see you blossom."

She smiled and leant her head on his shoulder. "You are pretty amazing yourself, dad."

He froze. She wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad reaction so she looked up to see his lip wobbling and he was fighting back tears.

"You....you...called me..." he couldn't even finish his sentence. He was too overcome. It was the strangest sight Astra ever seen. Severus Snape, crying.

"I called you dad," she smiled. "I have been wanting to do it for a while but I wanted it to be special." She had a whole bit prepared for Christmas Day but he was so emotional tonight that it just felt right. "You are my father and it's time everyone knew you were. I love you and I am proud to be your daughter."

He couldn't hold them back anymore and tears streamed down his face. "My little girl," he sniffed and he side hugged her and kissed the top of her head.