Run little girl, run

Chapter 30

Tw⚠️
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Alessia's POV:

"They know I'm the Black Widow."

My head lowered even further as my forehead came in contact with the cold surface of the ground as I remained in my kneeled position.

The irony was evident as in my heart, I wanted their forgiveness but deep down I knew, I didn't deserve it.

Tears continued to stream down my face and my breathing was ragged. I couldn't find the strength in my to look up at them.

I just couldn't...

I could only feel a constricting amount of guilt and shame. What have I done other than cause so much trouble? Nothing.

If I only I hadn't had gone out that day... if only they didn't see me getting attacked... if only they didn't save me...

None of this would've happened.

I would rather endure their abuse then cause my friends any width of pain. That's just how much I care but they don't deserve to reciprocate it. I DONT deserve anything: family, friends, happiness, liberation, my mother.

My own conscience was in an internal battle and it's safe to say, my own guilt won and was slowly poisoning my body.

Soon, I felt a hand on my shoulder that froze the venom of sorrow from spreading any further but I couldn't bring my teary eyes to look at who it was and they remained glued to the shiny surface.

"Al, can you look at me?" Spoke a gentle and calm voice. Ariel.

My mind was reeling from a sharp, protruding pain that I completely neglected as I was so caught up in getting away, I had forgotten about my concussion. All I could do as a response, was shake my head.

"Al," she began to shake my shoulders gently but her grasp was firm enough to make her point clear which reflected in her tone of voice when she said," Al, snap out of it. None of this is your fault. We all knew this was going to happen eventually. It was inevitable. There was nothing you could do so stop letting your anger get the better of you."

Her words snapped something in me; frustration.

I could've done more to prevent this. I was so stupid!

My heavy, laboured breathing swallowed the silence in the room. It sounded like a predator was preparing itself to launch itself at its prey.

Nevertheless, I slowly lifted my head up to look Ariel dead in the eye and from the corner of my eyes, I saw Jack, Bree and Ryan standing there with worrier expressions on their face but I couldn't look at them.

"You don't understand," I spoke hoarsely, my throat dry and scratchy from all the screaming and crying," there was always something more I could do. I didn't do enough. I let them find out and now I've put everyone in danger. They got what they wanted. They've wanted us; me to join them for years and now they know who I am. They could as so much expose me to everyone, they could blackmail me, they could hurt you guys or Daniel to get me to do their bidding! I know them better than all of you. They'll go to any lengths to keep their mafia strong and keep from collapsing and right now, because of us destroying their warehouses full of weaponry and drugs, they're more desperate than ever."

They all turned to look at one another but I could still feel the tiny fragments of my heart breaking and the lone stream of tears flowing down my face.

It wasn't long before I felt another supportive hand planted onto my shoulder and I turned to see it was Jack. His face mirrored my misery and I couldn't help but feel another wave of guilt wash over me.