A MERRY MAFIA CHRISTMAS (GxG)

XXX

My Christmas List: December 11th
Help me feel something.

❆❆❆❆❆❆

I wasn't sure how to react when Armani and I finally made it to her personal conference room, secluded away with black opaque walls on level five of the UG.

As we walked toward the room, I noticed the halls emptying out and Armani's family mentioning that they would be on level six above ground to grab dinner.

It was weird. It's like every emotion had gotten sucked out of me. My face was blank and my body felt stiff, but not in a tense way.

When the doors were closed and locked behind us, I looked around the room, taking in the large office desk and plush office chair to the right of the room. To the left of the room, there was a long glass conference table with black swivel chairs neatly placed around it. The lights were dim and Armani's familiar scent was drifting around me.

Finally.

My heart finally lurched in my chest, and I felt something again. The realization that Armani could've not returned. That I could've not seen her again, held her again, kissed her again.

Everything would've faded away. I would've no longer been planning a party, and perhaps I morbidly would've been planning Armani's funeral. Trying to decide which flowers she would've preferred the most.

I looked away toward the glass conference table as Armani moved to stand in front of me. Her dark eyes felt like they were practically burning into my face as she said, "Mi, are you okay?"

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Yeah-yeah, I'm good."

But my breathing was becoming thicker by the second, and my face was growing hot.

"You're sure?" Armani asked.

I nodded quickly, not able to form words. I felt so weak—I should be the one asking if she was okay.

"Really?" she said, her tone gentler than before, taking a step closer to me.

I need to be strong, now is not the time to break down in front of her—again.

Suddenly, Armani's soft concerned voice said, "Baby you're crying."

And that was it.

It was almost like a tragic bridge collapsing—it wasn't slow or small.

Uncontrollable tears started bursting from my eyes like a broken dam, causing Armani's arms to instinctively wrap around me.

Her hold was tight and firm as she said, "I'm right here."

My tears grew heavier as clung onto her, "But you almost weren't."

Armani's grip tightened around me, "I know—I know."

I couldn't control the sobs that left my parted lips as I soaked Armani's black turtle neck with warm salty tears, my body shaking in Armani's arms as I tried to calm myself back down.

"I-I don't know what I would've done, and I—Armani," I said, my words sticking together like hot glue, drying before I could correct myself.

"I'm here. I'm right here."

I gripped Armani tighter, reminding myself that everything was okay—that she isn't going anywhere. She's okay. She's alive and safe.

My tears slowed and my sobs faded into hiccups while my body grew still in her protective arms. Arms that I had yearned to be in for the past few hours.