A MERRY MAFIA CHRISTMAS (GxG)

XXXVIII

My Christmas List: December 17th
Help me not be such a mess without Miracle.

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ARMANI'S POV

I've been searching for an emotion to label the anger, concern, and sadness that is currently swirling inside of me—but I've seem to come up short. One singular word doesn't seem to touch base on how I feel.

And it's infuriating.

To have so many things going on internally is so fucking stressful. I didn't realize I'd find something—or someone—more stressful than my job, but Miracle seems to take the cake.

From the 'bruises' on her inner thighs, to her avoiding me, and now her—might I say—evil sister showing up. It's like I want to be mad at her for not telling me and for avoiding me too, but I'm also concerned. What are those bruises on her thighs, and why won't she tell me about them?

Something's clearly not right.

Then to add to it, I felt so bad after watching her interaction with her sister. It made me want to call Henrick and execute her. I knew the mere idea of this would send Miracle over the edge and I probably could never kill her sister.

Well, unless she really hurts Miracle.

But even so, I felt this hold over Miracle. I would willingly take anything that troubles her rather than her having to deal with it, and I would actually be ecstatic about it too.

When her sister had the nerve to disapprove of Miracle's display of emotions, it easily reminded me of my father. While he never, disrespected me or insulted me, he did disapprove of emotions. He always saw them as a weakness.

So for her sister to say such a thing was incredibly triggering for me, but I could tell by the way Miracle was side-eyeing me, she didn't want me to step in.

Even if it was killing me not to.

"Armani," Dominico's firm voice snapped, which easily made my eyes lock with his.

"What?" I said, my tone clearly irritated.

Dominico let out an irritated sigh. "Just because there's trouble in paradise does not mean you get to take it out on me," he said, standing in front of my desk. "You also don't get to zone out and not listen to a word I just said."

I sighed.

I've been a complete mess during this time away from Miracle, which is even more irritating.

I was fine before she showed up in my life.

I got proper sleep, I was always focused on work, and I ate properly. Now I can't do anything. I feel restless at night, I'm zoning out and barely awake during the day, and trying to eat is a constant battle due to the unsettling feeling in my stomach.

I just wish she'd trust me and finally try to open up to me. It's so unfair that she expects such a thing from me, yet she can't do it herself.

Then again, It's clear that she's battling something, perhaps worse than me. Even if it wasn't worse, everyone has their own way of dealing with their problems.

So I can't say I'm mad.

Just impatient.

I just want—no need—her back in my arms again.

I've been trying to give her space, but god it's so hard, especially with how good she always looks, talks, or even acts.

Everything about her is so fucking addicting.