The Start

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"Maybe I should start making some notes," she says, interrupting the long pause. "I have a note pad, a journal, in my bag." She moves to stand and he stops her.

"After breakfast. You can ask anything you like after breakfast." He looks over at her bare leg under the counter. "And after you get dressed." She blushes and has to stuff a piece of croissant into her mouth to hide her embarrassment. She turns away to continue chewing.

It feels like he's staring at her, sizing her up, deciding something about her. It doesn't feel good to not be in control. She's positive that she can do this role, that she can play the role of girlfriend perfectly, expertly, but it will be like any other job. She will cater to his every whim, be a doting girlfriend. She will comfort him and support him, but it doesn't mean anything at the end of the day. It's just a job. He won't get to her, she won't fall for him, she will stay strong and in control. She tells herself that, but she may not believe it.

***
She finished her breakfast, and took an extra long shower to take time to think about what she needs to do next. He told her he would be in his home studio when she came out, but he would see her 'later.'  She's absolutely decided that when she sees him next, it will be in character, she will be playing his girlfriend. She already has a plan of how she will behave, and a backstory that they have already been together and have been a couple, secretly. She realizes that she doesn't know enough about him yet, but she will 'fake it' until she 'makes it'.

She chooses a casual outfit, but realizes she didn't bring much with her, at his direction. She finishes drying her hair, and puts the finishing touches on her make up in the master bathroom. She takes her time, knowing he's working, and won't require anything from her. She puts on her jewelry, her necklace she always wears, straightens her hair, and quietly steps out of the bedroom. She walks back into his living room, to the chair where she saw him reading. She knows not to go looking for him, he will come out when he's done, when he's ready, and he will see her, waiting for him. From that moment, she will be his girlfriend, his companion. She will treat him as though they have been in each others company for months, and already feel comfortable, even if she is still swamped with doubt, and her stomach is turning itself over with nerves at the thought of it.

She had been very nervous at each acting role she got. She was scared that she wouldn't be convincing, that she would forget her lines, and maybe that whoever hired her would regret their choice. She thinks most actors must have some sense of that fear, until the camera rolls on the first day, and once you're committed 'on film' it's like the weight has been lifted, and you know they aren't going to go through the bother to fire you and replace you because they would have to reshoot everything you're in, and filmmaking is expensive. Once he comes through that door, she will have begun the role, and after spending the day with her, he will have invested too much time and energy to replace her. They leave for London in only 3 days.

She picks up the book he had been reading when she saw him earlier, and she flips through the pages to read. It isn't because she's interested in this book in particular,  but because she now feels it's her job to follow what he follows, to be interested in what he's interested in. She gets through the introduction to the book, but pauses to look around his space. She wonders if he chose all of the furniture himself. It looks as though he must have, it's clean and nearly empty, with comfortable couches and chairs in dark fabric against the pale walls. There are a few objects on a shelf, possibly gifts, or collected art pieces. She remembers thinking last night that he didn't have many things that showed this was his home, except for the master closet. It was huge, and filled with designer clothing from end to end. There was a cabinet with jewelry that must have been real stones, and probably costs as much as the entire apartment. She's never been in a place quite this nice, or been living among people this wealthy, but he doesn't seem the least bit pretentious. It's got to be like anything else; act like you fit in, and you fit in.

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