Unrequited? Air at Sea

48. A Fugue

2 Days Later.

-Trish-

"How have you been sleeping?" Elijah asks as I lay back on his couch.

I lift my sunglasses off my face as reply.

"Hmmm..not well." He answers his own question.

"Yeah, Arie hasn't been home in two days."

"Where is she?"

I sigh as I replace my sunglasses on my face.
"Under Caleb I assume."

"How are you taking that?"

"As you might expect."

"Yes, but I still want you to tell me. If you are going to get better at expressing yourself in this office is a great place to start."

I take a few minutes to consider it.
"Besides the obvious jealousy?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Anger too."

"At Arie? Caleb?"

"Myself." I admit.

"Why?"

"I have nobody to blame but myself. I put us here. I pushed Arie away."

"Yes you did. But I would still like you to spare yourself some blame."

"Why?

"This really isn't your fault. You caused Arie to feel pushed away yes but I'm weary to blame you for the emotional scaring that you have had to navigate all this time. In my opinion it's at the root of most if not all your fear, anxiety, depression, and anger. I can see how desperate you are to move on and be "normal", your definition of it anyway. Healing is going to take however long it's going to take and I don't see much point in you being angry with yourself."

"Who can I be angry at then? Who do I blame if I lose Arie for good? Whether it is or isn't correct my rage is very real. It's always there burning just below the surface. What do I do with it?"

"Hmmm. That's a very good question. I always suggest treating anger like depression. There is no cure only means of coping. You'll feel at least a little better once school and the season start. Also, you need to get some sleep. Won't you reconsider letting me prescribe you something?"

"I hate the meds they gave me when I was younger I don't want to feel like a zombie again."

"Then how about a low dose of Valium. Just take one at bedtime. It will help with your anxiety so you feel relaxed enough to fall asleep."

"Won't I be groggy in the morning?"

"You shouldn't be. Besides aren't you groggy in the mornings from not sleeping well?"

"I guess."

"Then try it. If you don't like it we can try something else."

"Ok." I agree reluctantly.

-Arie-

"Water!" I gasp as I attempt to crawl off the couch. The velvety material is making me hotter.

Caleb grabs my hips and swiftly pulls me back.
He pins me beneath him as he slips inside me from behind. I gasp once again as he penetrates me ever deeply.

"Fuck!" I cry out breathlessly as he trails kisses against the back of my neck and shoulders.
"Caleb, Baby please.....Water break.....I'm dying...I'm dying...I have no fluids left." I weep.