Fractured Worlds (Worlds Away #1)

Brela Chapter 25: The Pasts That Define Us

A storm had plunged the world into darkness. Jagged lightning lit up the sky, a rumble of thunder not far behind. What had started out as a steady drizzle of rain had slowly grown into a downpour, soaking the earth. The cave provided us with protection from the storm, but did nothing to stop the chill from seeping in.

A small fire glowed in front of us, giving off little heat into the chilly air. Justin and I leaned against the cave wall, both watching the flickering flames. The girl laid near us, still motionless. Justin's jacket rose and fell with her shallow breathing, the only reassurance I had that she was still alive.

"I'm starting to regret not listening to Magda and taking the rest of the day off," Justin chuckled. It was the first thing either of us had said in a while.

I didn't respond. My eyes remained on the raging storm outside as my fingers played with the rose necklace around my throat. Justin let out a sigh and gave up. He turned his focus to the storm.

"I'm sorry." I broke the silence. I heard Justin's clothing rustle, but I didn't dare look at him as I spoke. I forced myself to drop the small pendant. "If I hadn't gone after the girl, we wouldn't be in this situation. We could have saved some of the civilians, not some girl who we know nothing about. I made a poor decision today, and I'm sorry."

Justin was silent for a second, and his clothes rustled again as he turned back to the small fire.

"You know, when I first met Mae—when I had a conversation and saw her in person—she was protecting Celia and me. Eternals had just slaughtered our parents, and there was a fracture that desperately needed to be fixed. But Mae stood there, fighting with everything she had to protect two scared teenagers. She just about lost her life that day, and never again have I seen her as wounded as she was. Despite her many injuries, Mae kept on going, to protect us. We meant nothing compared to that fracture. When it was over, she didn't even bother with the fracture, she took Celia and I back home to MEPA, and made sure we were okay. It was an hour later when she finally returned to the world and fixed the fracture, which in the time it was left unmonitored had grown from a level three to a level five. It almost broke the world.

"After that day, Mae told my sister and me everything our parents hadn't had time to tell us, the details of the war, who she was exactly, and the true story behind MEPA. In that moment, I realised that Mae was the type of person who would take every blow if she could, and save everyone, even if it was at the cost of her own life."

"What does that have to do with what happened?" I demanded. I couldn't help the bitterness in my voice.

Justin gave me a smile, one that told me I should know. "I'm trying to tell you that Mae and you are a lot alike. You are both protectors, both people who have suffered and lost everything time and time again. Neither of you want another soul to live like you have. You saw that the girl was going through something that was all too familiar to you, and you didn't want her to be alone. It's the same thing with Mae protecting Celia and me; she didn't want us to suffer alone, like she had.

"I don't blame you for going after the girl. Sure, in the moment it seemed rash, and the civilians needed our help more, but that girl needed your help, and you gave it. Eventually, she may even help us. That's the thing with choices, you don't know where they'll lead, and that's the joy of it."

I looked thoughtfully at the girl. "You're not wrong about me wanting to save her from the suffering that I went through," I said. "But that's not the only reason."

Justin was quiet, his silence asking me to continue.

"I saw a bit of myself in her." I felt myself choke up, but I pushed it down. Slowly, I allowed the memories of that night to emerge, but I didn't let them control me, not as I spoke. "She watched someone she cared about be murdered in front of her. She watched the light dim in his eyes and the blood pool beneath him. I understand that pain."

"Brela—" Justin heard the pain in my voice. I could see that he wanted to tell me that I didn't need to tell him my past, but I stopped him.

"You told me a piece of your past, so it's only fair if I tell you some of mine." That wasn't the only reason, and we both knew that, but neither one of us mentioned it.

"Almost three years ago, I watched as three people broke into my house. I watched as they threatened my father, then shot my dog for only trying to protect her family. I watched as my brother tried to fight them off. I can still hear that gunshot."

I closed my eyes, tears running down my face as I saw my brother laying on the carpet. Biting my lip, I pulled in a breath, continuing. "My mother was with me hiding, but when my brother... she ran to him. They used her as a hostage. My father gave them what they wanted then shot him when he begged for them to leave his family alone. My mother's scream still haunts me. They shot her next, but she was still alive after they left, just barely. When my terror finally wore off and I went to help them, it was too late. They bled out, right in front of me. I was so deep in shock that I just sat there like a coward, blood coating my hands. I didn't even register when the police came.

"After the break-in, I didn't talk for weeks. Everyone thought that I had psychogenic mutism. I only began speaking again when Yuki, my dog, came back from the vet."

My hand had somehow travelled up to my necklace again. I rubbed it between my fingers, feeling the petals. Justin shifted beside me, clearly looking for some action or words to comfort me. He didn't know that his presence was enough.

"How old were you?" Justin finally asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Nineteen."

Justin was silent, clearly shocked at my past.

"I'm not trying to "one up" your story—"

"You just needed to get it out," Justin finished. We looked at each other, a silent understanding growing between us. "I get it. I was the same way; it just took me a lot longer."

"How old were you?"

"Seventeen."

I let out a shaky sigh. "They're pasts that define us."

"But don't control us," Justin said. I nodded "Come here." Justin pulled me into a side hug. I hadn't realised how badly I was shaking. As much as I wanted to say it was from the cold, I knew it wasn't.

"Are you going to be okay?" Justin asked me after a moment of silence. He looked down at me.

"Yeah, I will be. It's just... that moment— "

My mentor cut me off. "I know, trust me." He gave me a small smile. "Why don't you try and get some sleep? I'll take the first watch. I'll wake you up later to switch."

"Sure."

Justin rose to his feet, giving me one last reassuring look before he moved to the entrance to keep watch.

I didn't want to sleep, not yet, but I needed to be alert for what we planned for tomorrow. So, I didn't argue. I moved down the wall, laying on the rough stone floor.

I closed my eyes and let sleep take me, praying that the nightmares that I had been plagued with years ago didn't return.

They didn't.