102 - m.h

// 42. undo //

warning: contains slightly matured scene.

chapter song: sweet - cigarettes after sex

he pulled away and i wondered what was wrong, did i make a mistake? he held my arms and led me to his room.

he locked the door behind us and pulled me in for another one, my feet was moving on its own, moving backwards and eventually hit and collapsed on the top of his bed.

he hovered over me and traveled down my neck then down to my chest, making sure to place a kiss in every area of my neck.

his hands traveling inside my shirt, i felt a bit ticklish and wanted to giggle but can't.

he pulled the end of my shirt up, removing it completely. i sat up whilst still busy with him, my hands reached my back and was trying to unclasp the lock of my brassiere.

i was struggling so he helped me, "funny how you even bothered to give me clothes when you're just gonna take it off of me" i chuckled and pulled away for a brief moment.

"'cos i wanted to undo it and undress you, like what i am doing now" he said successfully unclasping the undergarment that were covering and supporting my breast. completely undressing me.

then kissed the edge of my shoulders, going on my back and sending his love in every place of my skin.

"my shirt looks good on you, but also looks good when you're not wearning any" he said, i turned around and pushed him. now sitting on top of him, i giggled and lightly nodded.

i leaned back and kissed his soft lips again taking up his mouth, still not over the sweet taste and nice feel of it. he bit my lower lip and chuckled. my hands traveled to the side of his face, cupping it, as his both hands went down the sides of my waist to support me.

he glided his fingertips from my neck then stopped on my chest. he sat up causing me to sit on his lap, i wrapped my arms around his shoulder, he looked at my eyes for a second then down to my lips.

"i've always thought your lips looked so good, but never knew it would taste so fucking divine" that made my cheeks flushed red, i buried my face in his neck. "oh my god gabby, if you don't distance your chest that's pressing on mine. i might not be able to control myself and fuck you up" he looked down at my chest and grinned.

"alright" i threw my hands in the air and hand my other arm cover my exposed chest.

he gave kisses on my face and neck, owning every area and part of my body as i ran my fingers through his soft, curly hair. he was about to give my lips another shot when the doorbell rang, causing him to pause before his lips could even touch mine, he closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. "i'm gonna come back, i'll go see who that is" he said in a low and calm voice, giving me a forehead kiss.

my lipstick was noticeable on his lips and cheeks, i pulled him and wiped those. "oh thanks love" he cackled and squeezed my hands.

he went out and didn't return after a minute, i looked over to the mirror to see my reflection. my hair was a mess, my upper clothing's gone, i grabbed his blanket and covered my body.

"oh my god" i mumbled and covered my mouth, the realization sunk in my head— did we just make out?

then seconds and seconds of waiting he finally entered the room, giving me a teasing smirk. he hovered on top of me and whispered in my ear, "so where'd we left off darling?" he said in a soft voice.

"nevermind fuck that" i giggled as he mumbled that.

then we continue what was paused earlier, now adding a bit more heat, he went a bit crazy with the hickeys there on my neck. we didn't do anything out of the ordinary. all i could feel right now was just pure love, pure intentions, and sincerity with every kiss his soft and delicate lips leaves on my skin.

he was caressing my thighs while i was kissing him, devouring every single part of him. "i'll take you one step at a time" he whispered and softly bit my ears.

"i will make you mine tonight" he said and pinned me down, grabbing the blanket, covering us both.

in that moment, we made love, claimed each other's bodies, called each other's name. and in that moment, i knew what it felt like being in heaven just by being owned by him.

"oh that was heat" he mumbled, i was catching my breath, i had no idea what just happened. i was following his lead, i have no experience on this, i was fucking clueless but he was so patient with me.

he put my head on his chest and had his arms around me while we were leaning on the headboard of his bed. "are you alright?" he asked, as he placed a kiss on my head, my legs hurt— i felt like if i was gonna stand up, it would probably fall off.

"does your leg hurt love? did you fall too hard?" he questioned again, i didn't answered, it hurts like hell oh my god.

this was not caused by the thing we had earlier, we just went on the tip of the iceberg. he said he didn't want to push me too far, he'll take this patiently until i was ready. i fell of the bed earlier and hit my leg on something hard on the floor.

he placed his hand on my right cheek and caressed it, "i love you" he said. did he really meant that? did this— did what happened to us and what we shared meant anything to him?

i turned away from him, and rested my head on the pillow while facing the other side of the bed. my eyes fixated somewhere, trying to sink everything that had happened for the fifteen minutes of my life that had passed by.

is he going to act like nothing happened after this? was he being real? these thoughts filled my head and overthink, causing my eyes to let out warm liquids, that rolled down my face. i didn't want to sniff because he'll know i was crying.

i tried my best to hold it back, i just wanted him to assure me and tell me that this was all real, — to tell me that he's sincere.

i quickly wiped my tears and stayed silent, i felt matty's chin on my shoulder, he gave it a light kiss and caressed it, "are you crying? are you okay darling?" he asked, i can feel his concern called me.

"don't cry" he buried his face on my neck, feeling his warm breath on my skin. i moved away and sat up, gripping the blanket over my body— covering it. "d-did this meant anything to y-you?" i said trying my best to talk, i started to cry again.

what if it really didn't meant anything? what if he just got caught by the moment? fucking assure me matty.

he looked deeply in my eyes, and spoke "it meant the world to me" he said and kissed my tears away, he locked me in his arms. "i'm giving an assurance, everything that i'm saying right now is sincere, this was real, everything you felt, everything i did was real. i poured my heart to you." he tried his best to assure me, i was still not sure about it, i can't help it.

i just don't want to be used. he's a big celebrity and i'm just a friend, everybody wanted him, there were other women who's interested in him that probably was better than i was, i can't be fooled by his words.

i know i was doubting him but i wanted to protect me and my heart. "i know these words won't prove anything, but i'll prove it with my actions" he faced me and wiped all the tears left on my face, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"you don't have to believe me now" he smiled and tucked my hair behind my ears, "i assure you, this was all pure love. so don't cry now darling, you look the prettiest when you smile" i looked down and wiped my face with my palm.

"come here" he signaled me to lay in his chest, i obeyed and breathed deeply.

he caressed my shoulders as i rested my head on his upper arm. "i know you can't avoid to overthink a lot, and worry, it's valid. i understand you love" he said in a quiet and calm voice.

i stared at the ceiling for a minute, feeling my eyes get heavier and heavier each seconds that passes by.

once i wake up tomorrow, will he be right beside me? or leave me with no goodbyes and notice?

i shoved tragedy aside for a moment and let myself hope and be happy again.