102 - m.h

// 15. she way out //

then i opened my eyes again and shifted my gaze at the window, will she come up outside and call me up at night?

will she spend her sunrise with me?

i shifted my position one to another, trying to get a comfortable position to sleep but, it seems like i just can't sleep so i decided to just sneak again — well maybe not sneak because my mum knows i do this —, escape rather.

i threw on some sweater on top of my basic white tee as it'll be probably cold outside especially at night, then i gushed out the house.

walking towards gabby's home, i can see adam's house from a distance and it seems like the people of the house we're already past asleep as the house have all their lights off.

i look up at gabby's bedroom window to see it's light was still open.

so i let out a 'psst' trying to call her attention, "gabby" i called out, not a whisper but also not a yell.

then after 3 attempts, her head sticked out the window looking down on me, "yeah?" she asked while resting her arms on the bottom of the window frame and her right hand on her cheeks.

"come down" i responded and suddenly she was smiling at me, "right in a second" she said then stared to run out the room, and i heard her gushing down the stairs and finally reached the front door, opening it, and saw that she was in her pink pajamas that had bears in it, she still has a smile on her face not wanting to disappear.

"where are we going?" she said nonchalantly, but was looking excited, "anywhere you want" i answered waiting for her to make a recommendation.

"or we can just sit here" she pointed at the concrete, in front of their house.

then i sat down, my knees in a curve while my arms hugged it, then she did too. "how's your day?" she started the talk, "it was fine, not really fun though, just tried to write a song which i haven't finished yet."

"what's it called?" she asked with curiosity, "i don't really know what to call it yet" i was really clueless of what to call it.

the titles i thought of made me cringed, was cheesy enough that you can dip food in it.

"well, what's it about?" she questioned again.

"you" my mouth slipped, oh shit.

"me?" she was baffled at my answer, "you know how my life's constantly changing, going to phases, new chapters and finding beauty in life that i haven't perceived before and i wanted to make a song out of it" i lied, trying to save my mistake earlier.

"oh i was confused for a second" she laughed, "my apologies, i was thinking about what to answer and forgot" i lied again.

"i think this became our hobby now — meeting every night" she said, "right? it really did" i agreed.

and it's a hobby i want to keep on doing, "this is really nice to be honest, it lets us open up, say each other's thoughts, and learn more about each other" i added.

she nodded and giggled, "it feels like i've known you for years, when in fact i've only known for like what? 7 months?"

"i think it's a 6" i said quite sure of my computation.

"6? feels like it's more than that" she said and i was agreeing, it really did felt like it was more than 6 months.

"glad you came, i can't sleep earlier i was thinking about something that can't escape my mind" she was now picking up stones and throwing them nearby.

"that's actually the reason why i came, i can't sleep and gladly you're still awake" and i wanted to see you, i badly wanted to add.

"funny how we run into each other whenever we can't sleep" she said with bliss, "i like it how we make each other happy just by being with each other" i said.

"it's like we're each other's euphoria" she laughed, "that's very precise" she nodded, was really agreeing.

"i never expected to build a bond like this with someone, because this is a first time someone really showed interest in being friends with me, and doing a lot of fun things with me, like we're straight out of a film"

"cos you know, they do this type of things in movies right?" her face was filled with joy, and was gratified.

then the best moments of me and her replayed on my head, it indeed was straight out of a movie scene.

"i don't think someone would go out their way to make me happy like you make me, that's one of the things i'm afraid of — you leaving me, or us not being friends anymore" she was in agony at the thought of it.

then she altered the topic, trying not to marred the mood. and tried to smile, "anyways, can we go on a night drive with the others some time?" she entreated, giving me those puppy eyes.

i jokingly rolled my eyes and nodded, she let out a 'yes!' and we both giggled.

then she stood up, "you should go and sleep now matty" she said while removing the dirt off of her pajamas.

"yeah i should probably go, and you should go to sleep now" i stood up from my seat and faced her, "goodnight matty, sweet dreams" she gave me that warm and loving embrace.

"goodnight gabby, sleep tight, have a good sleep" i replied, "will sure do" she giggled and messed up my hair.

"you seem to tousle my hair a lot these days" i said, because i've been noticing it too, it was becoming her habit.

"i like your hair, it's soft" then her cheeks flushed crimson red, "that's why" i laughed.

"now go home marty, bye!" she fled inside the house, her footsteps rushing up the stairs and the door slamming closed.

i smiled at how adorable she was and slightly shook my head, then walked my way home.

i flopped myself in my bed and happy thoughts invaded my head, then the happiness i felt fade and was replaced by forlom thoughts.

making me feel feel flimsy and glumly.

what if this is what we're made for? destined for? — just to be friends.

will i continue to be desperate of her attention, and just be a boy that she continuously meet outside every night in the dark?

our meet ups being a secret to everyone?

maybe we weren't really made for each other — romantically speaking —, but maybe we were made to just have a platonic relationship.

yeah, that's probably true, that wistful imagination i had of me and her were now fading.

our levels don't meet, like two parallel lines, she's this nice, pretty, and charming girl. while i'm just..nothing aside from a guy who plays in a band and plays guitar — almost everybody at school knows me as that. —

ever since gabby transferred to our school, loads of guys were after her. attempting to catch her attention here and there.

they were unbeatable, i can't win to them, they were much more than i do, especially george.

he's all nice, perfect, and wise like a sage, that's maybe the reason why gabby likes him.

while i'm nothing compared to him, i don't hate george for that, i'm just...i hate to say the word but, envious.

my mind was a tortuous entity.

maybe i was bound to meet someone else, but i don't want that, i wanted her.

but my mind goes again with the negative thinking, half of me was saying that we won't work and i'm gonna risk the friendship we built.

she's better off with george if 'm being honest, someone like her does not fit someone so basic like me. she way out of my league.