102 - m.h

// 12. heart out //

the drive went smooth and fun, we decided to go to the park and hangout, there were no people, i mean they were some but the amount is something that you're able to count.

it was already past midnight, and we're still outside, with no plans on returning home.

went we went out of the car, gabby rushed to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the grassy field, then she flopped herself in there.

her dress spreading out, she looked so pretty that i was dazzled by it.

how could she lie there and still look beautiful?

i lied beside her and looked at the stars, "the stars looks lovely" she started off, i looked over at her as she was paying full attention to the glowing white dots in the black sky.

"you look a million times lovelier than the stars, gabby"

i said looked deeply into her hazel brown eyes, — as if it was pulling me in — and there, i saw galaxies.

"that's the first time someone ever said that to me" she chuckled, "yeah?" i wasn't expecting that, how could no one say that to her?

she is gorgeous and unreal.

"yeah, thank you" she turned her head to face me, "you make me feel beautiful all the time" she said smiling sweetly.

"because you are indeed" yes, she was indeed.

she does not acknowledge that fact so i have to keep on reminding her on that one.

"you think the person i like will reciprocate the feelings if he saw that i was pretty?" her sudden question made my curiosity wake up.

who was 'he'?

oh..george.

"i don't have any idea who that person if but i bet he would like you for who you are not just your appearance. you're more than your beautiful face." agony was present, i was starting to feel jealous, hurt, sad and all the melancholic feelings i can't describe.

"i just wished he would look my way" she mumbled under her breath, "and i would tell him that he is my safe home" she added.

whoever this boy was, he was very lucky to be able to catch this girl's heart.

but a part of me was desperate, please let it be me.

my heart was hoping. but i know i would get my heart broken at the end.

she's the only person that can make my heartbeat, and she's the only person that can stop it.

"must be a lucky guy" i said. still fighting with jealousy.

"he's not the lucky one, i am. imagine what the privilege is to know him, to be with him, and talk to him..and be his would do." she continued on, as if she was talking about someone out of a fiction book.

"he's charming, endearing, he makes me feel loved, appreciated, and i'm happy with him" she smiled at the thought while she was closing her eyes.

"i just wished he likes me back" her voice fading, "who is he?" i asked.

"it's a secret but, you know him" she looked like she's not ready to say his name, and i immediately knew who he might be.

it's george, if it isn't him why is she nervous or seem to not be comfortable saying his name? knowing that he's my bestfriend and i would probably expose what she said to him.

she probably wanna tell all this to him herself omce she was ready.

"yeah?" i stared at the sky.

letting it hurt my feelings; i suffered in silence.

"i wonder what it's like to be loved by him" she was like dreaming, not about me but this other guy.

then we talked about different things, for hours and hours, not noticing the time was passing by.

everytime i am with her, things fly by so fast.

and sometimes it does not.

i want to spend more of my time with her, even more of my life if she would allow me inside for long.

the sun was starting to rise, we sat up and i felt her head rest on my shoulders.

"just like that sunrise, a new beginning will approach us once we graduate." she said, and i suddenly got reminded of graduation.

the end of our senior year is coming to an end.

we would go to universities and worse, go to different ones. and that means making new friends, meeting other people.

in worse case scenario, eventually forgetting about each other.

i don't want that.

"i hope it's gonna be good" i really hope it was gonna be good, i don't want anything to change,  i don't wanna part ways if ever.

"promise me you'll be with me always, okay?" i said holding out my pinky finger, then she intertwined hers to mine.

"i promise, i'll be here. always." she smiled and gave me a tight hug that i don't want to escape.

can we just sit here for a few more hours and trap me in your warm and loving embrace?

my heart was yearning for her — her love.

i want to know what it's like to be loved by her.

i want to be the only person she would want, but i know it's impossible. there's so many guys that's better off compared to me, like...george.

"actually there's this girl i like, she's fantastic, lovely, fun and beautiful." she had no idea i was talking about her, "yeah? tell me about it" she was patiently listening to what i was about to say next.

"she's so relaxing to be with in a sense of she can comfort me with just being by my side, not saying anything. i don't think anyone can do that ever to me aside from her." i added

"she's like a warm hug that embraces and meets me when i come home, tired and drained."

"it's like i was a white, blank, boring canvas, and she was a paint, covering me up and giving me colors"

"like i was a lyric with no melody, then she suddenly came and gave me life"

"she's amazing, and so full of joy." i said looking at the sun peeking from the horizon.

"that girl is lucky" she said giving me a smile.

"indeed, i want to be with her, 'til i'm like 95" i laughed then she did too.

"i just know you will make a good man" she looked so proud saying that to me, "i don't care about what people say about you, they don't know you. but i do." she tousled my hair.

i heard people were saying things about me just because i broke amanda's heart.

jerk,

arsehole,

twat

and all that stuff, which i admit was true.

but hearing gabby say that, with love and sincerity, it made me happy.

"let's go home" she said and i stood up and got her up.

we went inside the car and returned home.

i just wished it last for much longer, i am not ready to be without her — even if she's just minutes away from where i live.

now, i won't last a second without her. i've fallen really hard.

the thought of getting up was impossible.

if i have to keep on falling, i would. but i just hope she's there to catch me.

school was near to the end, i'm not ready for something new, and something that i have no control off; the future.

my only last wish is that, she would look at my direction and figure my heart out.