15- not your fault

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"Are you ready Marissa?" Lorenzo said growing inpatient

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"Are you ready Marissa?" Lorenzo said growing inpatient.

I am telling them.

I nodded. I am not ready and probably will never be but let's just pretend.

"Who was in your memory?" Lorenzo repeated his question from earlier.

"It was.. uhm.. Liam." I said it. "It was Liam." I said it again.

Oh my god. Oh my god. I am freaking out.

"I knew it. I fucking knew it!" Marcello said running a hand through his hair.

I am gonna stop looking at Marcello. I am just gonna look at Lorenzo.

"What was he doing?" Lorenzo asked.

No I can't do this. A sob left me as I reburied my face in Leo's chest. I love Leo, he's full of love and comfort.

"Take your time sweetie." Leo said running his hand up and down my back.

"Try Mary... Please try." Sandro spoke. I looked at him and his face gave nothing but sadness. I think they all caught on. They just want to hear it.

I looked at Lorenzo again and I just started talking. "After mom and Henry died and they died because of me..." I ignored Lorenzo's question. I am still not ready to talk about that.

"What do you mean?" Antonio asked me causing me to look at him and his face gave nothing but also sadness and a hint of anger.

I honestly don't want to look at any of them so I just looked at my hands on my lap.

"At the time, mom and Henry weren't doing so good. Their relationship was in a bad place and I loved Henry. Anyways, one day their friend invited them to this party is his house. They didn't want to go but I begged them to. And that night, the house caught on fire and they died. If I didn't ask them to go—"

"It's not your fault sweetie. You didn't know. I promise it's not your fault." Leo said hugging my side tightly.

He sounded sincere yet I can't not think that. With the constant reminder from Liam. I believed that I killed them.

"Continue please." Lorenzo said. I still didn't look at any of them, just playing with my hands and I am not planning on looking at any of them.

"So after they died. Liam.. my step brother became my legal guardian. At first it was nice living with him. It wasn't normal but it was fun. He's the one who taught me how to use a gun. We would go to this big forest and we would shoot random things along with many people—"

"You're talking about the wild jungle?" Matteo asked me.

"Yes and I honestly loved going there. It helps me let some anger out and- and some sadness. It—was—it was dangerous which also makes it better. He also taught me how to drive... I can drive cars and motorcycles... We would also go to these races and it was all fun. We would also break into shops like the tattoo shop thingy. He told me that we should have fun to cope." I said and I remembered those good times. "He was also protective of me..."

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