Seized in the Dark (gxg)

Ch. 25: Crossroads

"I'm just glad to have you back." Mistress's words reverberated in my mind.

That makes one of us, I guess. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about coming back.

I am currently at a crossroads.

Mistress has been treating me well lately. She seems sincere in wanting to change, but for how long? Her past transgressions scare me, and they are not something that I will soon forget.

Can I even forgive her? She raped, tortured, and abused me! Those are not things that one can just gloss over and pretend they never happened.

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but for what? I mean, it should make my living here better. If I want something, I guess that I must give in a part of me.

Maybe I should just stop thinking in absolutes, after all, people can change. After Mistress's confession of her past, perhaps all she needs is someone to love her. I do not know if I will ever be able to get to that level, and I am not sure if I ever want to, but at least, as a first step, I can be more open towards her advances for affection, I suppose.

This whole situation is just fucked up!

Love does not have to end up in sex or vice versa. I know she is going to want to, but I believe that what she requires right now is a loyal friend, the purest form of love. A relationship is not built on sex, there must be trust, understanding, patience, a give and take from both parties.

I am taking a step forward. I will give her a part of me. Please, don't make me regret my decision!

My shoulders sagged as the tension dissipated, and I relaxed into her embrace. "Me too," I replied. I had to force the words out. There is a bittersweet feeling lingering in me. This is my first step towards giving in.

It's fine. I can live with my decision.

Mistress pulled away from the hug and placed a warm and devout kiss on the top of my head. Her hands moved to my shoulders to place an arm's length between us.

"You must be starving. I'll have Nivia bring your breakfast while I untie you." Mistress turned her head to give the go-ahead signal to Nivia. Now that I had my glasses on, I could see Nivia clearly as she promptly stood and left. Mistress turned to face me again. "While she goes to get your breakfast, do you want to go ahead and shower now or after your meal?"

"Will I be given the chance to shower alone?" The thought of water on my face still haunted me, but it never hurts to ask.

"I'm sorry, Keira, but I'm going to be blunt with you. You can just forget about ever taking a private shower again. Too much has happened, and I can't leave you unsupervised," Mistress answered.

"Yeah... I kind of figured," I replied, downcast as I sighed. "It's okay. In that case, I'll shower now and get it over with."

Mistress looked stunned by my reply, but did not say anything, instead she proceeded to free my limbs.

"Be careful when getting up from bed. Try to do it slowly," she advised while standing next to me. Her arms were outstretched and ready to catch me at a moment's notice.

I threw the sheets to the side and swung my legs over the edge. I followed her counsel and stood up, slowly remembering what happened last time when I was with Cleary in this same situation. Even though I was a little shaky, I did not fall as I found my footing and made my way to the bathroom.

Mistress just stood there, leaning against the wall, watching me as I started to undress. Her eyes caressed me with lusting, invisible fingers as she suggestively licked her lips. There was no reason to tell her off at this point. I cleared my throat and her eyes stopped raking over my body until they locked mine. I squinted my eyes at her, furrowed my brows, and slowly shook my head in disapproval as I turned around and made sure to have my back always facing her as I finished stripping.