CHAPTER 36
What I did not miss about home is waking up to no milk and having to go to the store so early in the morning.
Kyle agreed to drive me, but he refuses to leave the car. I sigh as I wrap my jack around me tight hoping to keep the crispy morning air out. I walk into the store and grab a sanitized wipe for my basket.
I return straight to the car and strap myself in.
"What was in that store that has you smiling?" Kyle eyes me skeptically.
"Food." I giggle and turn up the volume.
In the store moments before...
I head straight to the milk aisle.
(OREOS!)
I walk over to the snack aisle that is when I see a familiar pair of orange hair and broad shoulders.
(It is too early in the morning for this.)
I turn around to make a run for it.
"Snow?" shit.
"Oh, hey...Xander! What is up broster?" who the fuck says broster?
(mental facepalm)
"You are back in town..." no shit sherlock.
"Yeah...I am, am I not?" I shed a nervous giggle. He smiles and my heart flutters.
"You look great. There is something radiating off you, something really good...it looks amazing on you." He shoves his hands in his pockets and laughs.
( it is forced I can tell.)
"Really? It is good to hear I do not look like the shit I feel..." I say under my breath, "What are you doing here are you not supposed to be off to Yale?" I ask him.
"Uhh...yeah uhm...I decided to take a gap year and I am not on scholarship so it allows me to do that so why not." he shrugs and I nod.
We fall in silence and I take the time to look him over. He is a lot bigger so that tells me he has been working out. The stubble on the face and his long locks tell me he has not shaved or had a haircut in a while. He looks better than the last time I saw him, but he still looks...off?
He takes a few steps forward until he towers over me like old times. My heart is pacing from my throat to my stomach and I feel like I am about to be sick. He brushes my hair behind my ear and I suck in a breath sharply.
"You did not call, you did not text. Nothing, for a while." I murmur.
"Trust me, Cupcake, I had to stop myself from calling, texting...even booking a flight to beg for you back. I lied when I said that I did not feel the same love for you on that call the one time and when you said you felt nothing for me...letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do." a flicker, so fast I am not even sure if I really saw it or my mind is playing games.
"I do not know what to say." There it is again, he is fighting the demons inside again. Hiding from me again.
"I am sorry." He touches my cheek and it stings.
"Do not be..." I grab my Oreos and walk trying to escape this awkward situation, but stop in my tracks when he says...
"Please do not leave me." a susurration I almost did not hear. The jab it gave my heart has me wishing I did not.
"Xander-"
"Just one more shot. That is all I ask for." He grabs my hand and I pull it away.
"You know I cannot do that!" I hiss at him. This time he does not hold it back and in his eyes, it is written in all caps...PAIN.
"Okay, okay we do not have to be a thing! Just talk from time to time I need to have you in my life again, even as a friend." I hesitate but the desperation in his voice does it.
"Sure, Muffin, I would love to have you as a friend. Come here, you look like you could use a hug." The truth is we both do. He holds me tight and I melt in his arms.
"There is someone else, right?" He asks as we pull apart.
"Kayden..." he smile not looking surprised at all.
"I guess I kind of always knew deep down that it would always you two in the end. He is a good guy... when he is not yelling at you crying," he says and I laugh.
"Yeah, totally."
"So uhm...I will call you?" he asks and I shake my head.
"No, for a change I will call you."
-
Snowflake: You hear that Kaydie? He said he always knew it would be me and you in the end!
Kayden: You being this excited about this makes me the luckiest guy ever and you the best girl ever.
Snowflake: I just like telling people I am dating you and see their jealously seep through their forced smiles.
Kayden: Yeah, but get some rest you had a busy day and tomorrow is also going to be busy with the traveling. I miss you.
Snowflake: Okay, I guess you are right. Goodnight, I miss you more, but best believe time will fly.
-
I have never really been a fan of entertaining family drama and I do not really go to family events anymore.
Sometimes you grow up and realize family can be toxic and you just decide to distance yourself from it. That is exactly what I have been doing for year up until my mother decided to drag me into this one.
I would much rather be talking about anything else right now so how about we end this right here and skip to the part where I get back to school? Agreed? Great.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
The truth is this chapter gave me some major writer's block and I have tried different things for days now and I will not give you something I do not think is not good enough so I decided to cut it short.
The next chapters will be much better though, I pinky promise.
Thank you so much for understanding.
xoxo
s e e n o <3
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