What the heart wants

65

Bile rose up Jared's throat as he stared at his reflection in the mirror in the hallway.

"Fuck you!" He screamed. "You're a bastard! I hate you! You just look what you've done! Look at what you've done! You're wife is leaving you, you're parents aren't even talking to you, you're best friend is mad at you and your company is crumbling. All because of your stupid mistake!"

He flung the empty bottle in his hand shattering both the mirror and the bottle. He staggered down the hallway and into his office. The neatly organised files and the rich cocoa butter scent of the room hinted at how much time she had spent in there; he felt like the entire room was mocking him so he thrashed the office and sat down, breathing heavily when he was done.

A plain white envelope peeked from behind the piles of torn paper, he picked it up and opened it. Inside the envelope sat small black and white pictures. It took him a while to release what the picture was of and when he did, he placed them against his chest and sobbed.

They were ultrasound pictures of his child, the child he had abandoned, the child he had lost. The scribbles across the back of the pictures opened a dam of tears he couldn't hold back.

First ultrasound, I'm a little behind schedule but…look how cute he/she looks. Dr Fiona said my alcohol intake might affect the baby but I really pray it won't.

Second ultrasound, I'm sixteen weeks gone, no signs of Jared yet…but I'm good, I guess.

He stared at each picture (taking in the notes she had written) fell to his knees and cried. He brushed his fingers across the surface of the last picture, the last ultrasound before the miscarriage.

Dr Fiona asked me if I wanted to know the gender. I want Jared to be here for that. Zayn and Jade think I'm stupid, they say it's wishful thinking but…I know he'll be back.

"She waited for me…she waited a-a-and I…I'm a monster. I'm sorry Aria, I'm so sorry." He sobbed.

***

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Zayn, I can't wear Bella's clothes forever. I'll just get what I need a come out."

"Alright but if you take too long I'm coming in."

Aria rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Of course."

She drew in a shaky breath and walked into the house. Emotions hit her in full force but she didn't allow them overwhelm her.

Deep breaths Aria, remember what Dr Kim taught you.

She treaded the stairs carefully remembering what had happened the last time she had climbed them. Her heart clenched at the thought but she kept on moving.

She made it to her room and packed enough clothes to fill the duffel she had taken with her. As she exited the room and walked into the hallway, she noticed the shards of glass on the floor and blood droplets, she furrowed her eyebrows. Curiosity got the better of her as she followed the droplets to his office.

She gasped at the unruly state of the office. The room looked like it had experienced a tornado. And it actually had, the tornado laid on the rugged floor in the middle of the room.

The pungent smell of alcohol hit her as soon as she stepped closer. He had been drinking. She lightly kicked him but was met with no response. The furrow in her eyebrows deepened as she felt for a pulse but was met with a weak one.

"Aria! Are you okay? Where are you?!" She heard Zayn yell through the intercom.

"I'm in his office, I think something's wrong." She via the intercom.

She heard heavy footsteps pounding up the stairs and was graced with Zayn's presence a few minutes later.

"What the happened here? And what the hell is wrong with him?"

"I don't know… but he has a weak pulse."

"You're right." Zayn replied quietly as he felt for a pulse. "Well I know for one that he's been drinking…but I feel like there's something else."

Zayn tried waking Jared up but was met to no avail.

"Z-Z-Zayn!" Aria stuttered handing him an empty bottle.

"Fuck! Call an ambulance now!"

***

Aria sobbed quietly in the waiting room of the hospital. She was mad at him, yes, but she couldn't lose him.

"Any word from the doctor?!" She asked Zayn as he walked into the waiting room.

"The doctors aren't telling me anything. I'm sorry Aria."

"It's fine." She replied.

"Here, they found this in the office. I think you should read it."

She took the folded paper from his hand, opened it and began reading.

Dear baby,

I know it sounds kind of weird to call you baby but I don't know what else to call you. I'm your father, you don't know me because I ran away. I ran away, I left you and your mother like the idiot I am. I was scared. It might seem irrational but I'm scared of being a father. You see, I love your mother so much and she is absolutely perfect . And if she's your mother, I have no doubt that you'll be perfect too. But I'm not perfect, I am extremely flawed and I feared that one day you'd both realise that I don't deserve you…and leave. And I didn't want that. I wanted to be selfish but that selfishness has cost me a lot. I love your mother, I swear on my life that I love her and hence, I love you too. I am so sorry for being selfish, I am so sorry for running away from my fear and finally, I'm sorry that I never got to meet you. I hope you can find a place in your heart to forgive me.

Love,
Your remorseful father, Jared.

THE END.

***
Сайн уу!🥳,
After 5 parts and 65 chapters, we are finally done with What the heart wants 😌.
This is the most difficult book I have ever written.
2.56k reads, 402 votes and 45 comments, this wouldn't have been possible without you guys. Y'all are awesome ❤️.
Thank you so very much for reading despite my horrible writing and late updates 🌝.
Kindly rate your What the heart wants experience 🙃.
Stay safe 😷.
Bye!!