Batboys x Reader

Something Special (Tim Drake x Reader)

Surprise! I'm not dead! So, a few things have happened while I was inactive...I saw my brother again after two months and it was awesome! Thank you for your time, support and patience, I also had a massive writer's block so tonight I abolished it! Whoo-hoo! Anyhow this was requested by  and used prompt 31 ("I never stopped waiting for him. My heart still skips a beat when my phone lights up and I have this sinking feeling when it's not him who texted. God, after all this time, I'm still waiting. But he won't come back. That's the worst part."). I hope you enjoy! As always, I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you for existing and as always remember how dope you are. Xx

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(Y/N) Pov

We all have someone we never speak of. Someone who meant so much, that even hearing their name makes your soul tremble with memories and pain. Someone who makes you heart break a little more each time you accidentally think of the colour of their eyes.

Tim was that someone for me.

You see, losing him wasn't just painful, it was fucking damaging. It wasn't me sitting down on a couch surrounded by my friends as we watched movies and ate food to try and forget him. It was me staying up at four in the morning because the thought of him was so fucking strong that I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing his face. It was me swallowing thickly and blinking back tears every time I was in public, the hole in my chest causing my breath to come out shaky rather than normal. It was me laughing at things for no reason as my stomach turned because the urge of falling apart was getting stronger. It was me crying at random hours during the day and me not wanting to get out of bed. It wasn't just me staring blankly at his number, deciding whether or not if I should call, it was me throwing my phone at the wall and breaking it because I was drunk again then using the payphone outside to call his number just so I could hear his voice one more time. 

I'll never forget the way he looked at me, it made me feel so special. I won't forget all the words he said to me, they melted my heart. I'll never forget the way that he put me before everything else...except his hero work. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that he destroyed me or the fact that I thought he never would.  I don't think I'll ever be able to forget that pain either. And hey, maybe it won't matter in thirty years; maybe I won't even remember his name. But right now, in this very moment, it matters, and it hurts - and I'm still trying to be okay with that.

It's been a long time since I saw him last and not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of him. I think of him every day. Every morning and every night. Each time the clock turns to 11:11 I wish for him. Each time I see an airplane, I make a wish for him because the last time I saw a shooting star he was with me. I haven't seen another one since that night, I stopped looking for them. I always dream of him. And I don't know if he watches over me but I'd like to believe that. 

So here I sit, looking into space and feeling a tight grip wrapped around my heart, its squeezing and squeezing not allowing me to breathe and slowly I start to feel the tears fall down, one after another then the fits start to happen and I just can't stop. It hurts so badly, almost indescribable. People say love hurts, but those words are so vague, "love hurts", no love kills, and it doesn't just take your breath away it takes away a piece of you, making you fragmented, shattering you into small different pieces where you can't even get yourself back up on track again. That's what love is. Not the holding hands or the forehead kisses. It's the feeling you get when you break down into a million pieces. It's when you feel your heart hammer against your rib cage. That is love. 

Dick Grayson Pov

She called me at 2 am, it woke me up from my sleep. I had answered the phone in a daze, my groggy "hello" being greeted with the sound of (N/N) losing her breath between deep sobs and sniffling. She didn't say anything for 15 minutes. I just let the sound of her world shattering fill my ears. When she finally caught her breath she said Tim's name like it was the last thing she would ever be able to say. Before I could reply with worry, there was a knock at her window and then the sound of it opening. When she turned to her bedroom window, to her surprise she found me crouched outside, balancing on the window sill.