Batboys x Reader

I Should Hate You (Damian Wayne x Reader)

Hey guys, This was requested by @SaberG and used prompt number 7 (How are you supposed to love other people when they are all so stupid). I absolutely love the pic above...Mmmkay, you guys should probably know that you guys are like 17 in this.

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(Y/N) pov

I know that when tension is high I should inject love instead of anger, give him an olive branch instead of enmity, but sometimes it just isn't that easy with Damian. He gets all up in my face and I get this urge to smack him down but if I do that I'll feel guilty later. I'm just about to explode when my bother comes in.

 "What up lil' sis?" He casts a look from me to Damian.

Damian is beet red with his hands stuck firmly on his hips, steam almost flying from his ears. He doesn't need to be told we had another of our many disagreements, he can read the situation faster than a one-word note. And this one just says "Scram." I expect him to leave but he just sits on the couch in the corner of the room.

Damian explodes, "Father made a mistake when he let you two into my family! You don't belong here (Y/N), you're a freak, you're useless. And you should really stop wearing that stupid piece of jewellery around your neck...it isn't going to bring your mother back!".

The door slams behind us, silence settling over the room. It is my own fear that brings my rage, that hot burning anger that seeks to harm. What if he was right? When I am faced with something that frightens me, a primitive part of my brain is activated to produce aggression. That rage destroys me from the inside, corrupts my sense of community into one of competition and suspicion. Yet, whenever I feel this deep burning anger there is a type of pain that comes along with it. Tears come and I begin to search for help from those I love, from my older brother Tim.

He wraps his arms around me, allowing my tears to soak his shirt. Tim is my safety so I beg him to stay.  He is my shelter when the storm winds rise to fever pitch. As his sister in this life, I owe him more than I give. When our parents died I was broken and he picked me up and helped me find the person I lost. I was shattered and he put the pieces back together. I curled into him, feel his protection, as a sister does. 

"Don't listen to him (N/N). You are the most amazing person in the world. He's just jealous of you cause his mother never gives him anything. You are so strong." He soothes.

"Tim he's right about me." I cry out.

"No, he's not. You know what I would do without you?" He asks.

"Crash and burn?" I reply.

"Yep." He agrees.

I giggle softly and wipe my tears away. My fingers play with the necklace around my neck. The necklace seems so old, worth no value. But I hold it close to my heart, the pattern marking my hand, imprinting the words onto it. If someone took away the sunshine and every luxury I own I wouldn't care, just as long as I had my necklace. Whenever I wear the necklace I am instantly connected to my mother, even though she is long gone. It reminds me that I can survive everything that is thrown at me. 

 Whenever someone calls me strong I know they mean it as a compliment but my heart sinks and there is a wave of sadness in my soul when I hear the word. For what I show is a forced resiliency, a way I've had to be my entire life just to survive. I've always wanted to find a good life, to be truly happy and for that I knew I must carry on, to keep walking through every pain and hurt. What I want is to be soft, and for softness to be alright. I want to be helpful and do what it is my soul and heart need to be healed. I believe giving of the self, of giving always with love, yet I've learnt that I have limits...especially around Damian. To call a person strong or brave sounds so nice, but if in reality they are like a horse being run to death and praised for its speed and beauty, there is a cruelty to it.