Edward Cullen's Little Sister

Chapter 16 - Carlisle

"Come in," Carlisle called and I heard a door open and shut. I had been shocked when I'd first seen Carlisle's office. He had more books than I've ever seen in my life. I wanted to learn but I didn't have the same thirst for knowledge as Carlisle. I understood how he inspired everyone else now. He had taken the eternity being a vampire had given him and he had used it to learn and better himself and give back to the human race though why he needed to give back I didn't know. It was their fault he had ended up a vampire. But it was amazing how he still wanted to help the human race. The race that I had spent so long killing to sustain myself. I shook my head to clear it and returned to listening to the story to come about Carlisle's history.

"What can I do for you?" Carlisle asked.
"I wanted to show Bella some of our history. Well, your history, actually," Edward explained though I was sure Carlisle had been listening like I had. I'm sure everyone was listening.
"We didn't mean to disturb you," Bella added quickly.
"Not at all," Carlisle assured her. "Where are you going to start?"
"The Waggoner," Edward said. The what? Oh, they must be talking about the pictures covering one of the walls in the room.
"London in the sixteen-fifties," Edward explained. Bella must have been confused about one of the pictures.

"The London of my youth," Carlisle added.
"Will you tell the story?" Edward asked Carlisle.
"I would," he told them, "but I'm actually running a bit late. The hospital called this morning – Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides," he said, I presumed to Edward this time, "you know the stories as well as I do."

I heard the door open as shut as Carlisle left and almost immediately Bella asked: "What happened then? When he realized what had happened to him?"
"When he knew what he had become he rebelled against it," Edward's voice was quieter, a whisper, though I could still hear him. "He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."
"How?" Bella asked, her voice sympathetic.
"He jumped from great heights. He tried to drown himself in the ocean..." I knew that couldn't have worked since we don't need to breathe.

"But he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist...feeding..." Edward paused "...while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation." Wow. Carlisle was even stronger than I'd thought. But that isn't possible and he's clearly alive now.

"Is that possible?" Bella whispered.
"No," Edward told her "there are very few ways we can be killed." And I knew how more than most. It was a horrific thing really. To be torn limb from limb then burn the pieces. I had my gift so they couldn't fight back but if I hadn't it would have been even worse than it was. Not at the time, because of Maria, but after I had left I hated everything I had done, I still do. It was horrible what I had done to those newborns even if they were going to attack me. They didn't know any better. They didn't know a different way. I didn't want to think about that right now.

Edward continued before Bella could say anything else. "So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he could from the human populace, recognizing that his willpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself. One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again." Carlisle truly was amazing. What he had done, who he had become.

"He began to make better use of his time. He's always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day. He swam to France and..."
Bella interrupted Edward. "He swam to France?" Her voice was higher than usual. That wasn't even that unusual was it? Humans swam from England to France.
"People swim the Channel all the time, Bella."
"That's true, I guess. It just sounded funny in that context. Go on."