twisted // michael clifford au

2.2

mr. polite - the jungle giants

Violet's POV

"Retrograde Amnesia." The doctor said to me, and I tried to grasp the information as much as possible. My dad sat in a chair beside the hospital bed. "This means your brain is holding onto different types of information. I have a question. Do you still remember how to do things before memory loss?" "Uh, yeah. Like schoolwork and driving? Yeah. I'm still blank on things that come with them like the rules, but I know how to do some things." "Exactly. Your brain has kept your learned abilities. As for memories, they are still there, but your brain has not processed them. They are being withheld, which is why you can't remember anything." I continued to nod.

"Will my memory come back?" I asked. "It is possible. It just depends, and it will surely take time. You could see something that jogs your memory, but as for now you should continue life. There's no guarantee." "When can I stop wearing these glasses? I look dumb." "Ah, yes. We're changing your medicines, since you're going to be adjusting to light and sound differently as it goes. After today you should be good to go. If the medicines do not work well and you still need to wear the sunglasses, come back, and we'll try something different." All I could do was nod. I was thinking of so many different things.

"I think it's time you call your mother. She wants to speak to you," my dad said as we got in the car. "I don't want to talk to her. She left us. She left me." "Violet, please. It's been almost a month. She wants to know how you are." "I'm just fine. No big deal, just a bit of fucking memory loss. As if she cares. If she really cared she'd come see me." "Violet, please. Just call. You don't have to call her again after." "I'll do it when I get home." I told him, even though I knew I wasn't. "You can call her while I'm in the pharmacy." "The number is in your phone," he added before getting out of the car. "Right." I sighed.

After three rings, someone finally picked up. "Hello?" I asked. The voice was silent. "Mommy! Someone's on the phone." A little boy said. So this is him. My replacement. "Hello?" I heard my mother's voice. I felt a lump in my throat. "Um, it's Violet." I couldn't even call her mom. I thought that when I heard her voice I would be angry, but I wasn't. I was hurt beyond words. "Violet! Honey, how are you? I'm sorry I haven't called. Your dad said you didn't want to talk to me." It was true, I didn't. "How am I? Really?" I choked out. I was holding back tears. "I know this is hard, and you don't remember what went on with everything and I'm really sorry but-"

"No. Don't even pull that shit on me. You don't have to talk to me like I'm stupid. You left me. I wake up, I don't know anything, and I'm stuck with knowing I had my mother what feels like yesterday, but never again. If I was really important to you, you would've called, even if I didn't want to hear it." "I know you're hurting right now," "Hurting? Hurting would be if I bumped my head and got a headache. Uncertainty of everything around me is anything but being hurt. It's torture. I fucking hate my life, and nobody gets that. I hate my friends from school, I hate my boyfriend, I hate dad's stupid fiancée, and I hate you." "Vi," "No! Don't even. You gave up on me, like everyone else. Everyone else is holding back the truth. You're just like them." she didn't say anything, so I couldn't interrupt her again. I hung up.

I breathed heavily. Inhaling and exhaling. Everything I said to my mother hit me. I have never felt so alone. I thought about what the doctor said, too. Something could jog my memory. But what if I didn't want it back? I'm torn between moving on and staying with the memories that are lost. I'll give myself a few weeks to tie up loose ends. Then I'm done, right? I can't do this anymore. I'm done.
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just a filler bc shits gettin cray