I Found You, Something Told Me To Stay - (Jason Berry/Zacky Vengeance)

Chapter Five.

Sorry it took me a couple of days to get this one out; I didn't really know how to structure it! And sorry it's not that long, either! D:

Please vote and comment; tell me what you think! :D

**

It just happened to be my bad luck that Avenged Sevenfold were currently on tour.

That meant my father would be with them, so my plans to fly to California and confront him there had gone out the window.

It wasn’t going to stop me, though. In my hysterical state, I’d done all the research I could. It seemed like hours that I’d sat at my laptop for, ignoring my mother’s sobs from downstairs as I tried to find something out about my father.

I’d been relieved to find out that their tour ended in three days time, though. I couldn’t wait that long, I knew that, but their last show was in New York.

I wouldn’t be able to get tickets. That was something I was well aware of. But I’d built the crazy idea in my head of flying to New York and waiting for however long I had to until I could see my dad. I knew the suggestion was completely insane, but I was prepared to do absolutely anything and I didn’t really have anything else to lose.

As soon as I’d started considering idea, the rest of it followed. I’d take the photo I had, and my birth certificate; any proof I had so that he couldn’t turn me away. I needed to talk to him.

Of course, I didn’t really know how I was going to go about all of this. It was a complicated situation, starting from me trying to fish out as much money as I could. I’d need to go to a cash point, as I definitely didn’t have enough on me; I’d researched that too, and it wasn’t the kind of amount I tended to leave lying around my room.

Then I was stuck on what to pack. I wanted to get out as quickly as possible, so I started by just yanking things out of my drawers and closet and shoving them into just the one duffel bag. I didn’t want to be lugging a load of stuff around with me.

Halfway through my unsystematic packing session, I stopped in my tracks and stared around my room, realising that I hadn’t really paid all that much attention to what I was doing. Different pieces of clothing were sprawled everywhere and the room was just a mess in general. I realised that even though I wasn’t planning on taking much with me, I was going to have to be sensible about what I did take.

After all, who knew what was going to happen?

There was still a chance that I could be turned away. It’d been nearly eighteen years; my dad might not want anything to do with me.

And then, I wasn’t sure what I would do. I’d not really thought of a “Plan B”, because I’d been so wrapped up in trying to get everything sorted. I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

And getting everything together made me honestly realise how much I didn’t care about leaving behind. I’d drive my car to the airport, but the fact that there might be a chance that I could stay in America and never see it again, didn’t bother me.

At this moment in time, I really didn’t care about leaving my mother behind. She was absolutely nothing to me. Whenever I used to complain about dragging her drunken ass up to bed from the sofa, people always used to spin me the same old bullshit. “She’s your mother. She brought you into this world. Drunk or no drunk, she deserves your respect”.

I gave my respect to the people that earned it.

Finally, I managed to pack a few bits and pieces that would keep me going for the next few days. I went round every inch of my room, collecting all the money that I could find and shoving it into my wallet. With my savings that I kept in my drawer, I had at least two hundred pounds with me

Taking one last long look at my room, I flicked the light switch down and shut the door behind me, then turning and running down the stairs. My mother’s sobs had halted, so I could only guess that she’d either fallen asleep or she was out in the garden.

Either way, I didn’t care.

It turned out she had fallen asleep. Even though I was planning on going to a cash point, I wanted to gather as much money in my house as I could find. After all, I was still going to need food.

I rushed into the kitchen, ignoring her passed out body sat at the table, her forehead leant against it as her hand kept wrapped round her bottle of Vodka. She didn’t wake to the sound of me opening and shutting drawers and cupboards as I looked for money, so it was safe to say that she was pretty out of it by now.

I only managed to find about twenty-five pounds in the kitchen. It was usually money she used for a cigarettes, so I didn’t feel guilty about taking it in the slightest.

Shoving that into my wallet also, I stopped in my tracks and looked at her, watching as her body raised and fell with her breaths. I bit my lip as I got lost in my thoughts.

 I really didn’t want her to come after me. Who knew what she’d do once she woke up and realised I was gone? After all that had happened, I didn’t know what she was capable of.

I began to consider writing her a letter, just to remind her I was leaving.

But then I thought...why? Why should I? After all that she done, why did she deserve an explanation as to why I’d left?

That pretty much finalised my decision. Not giving it another thought, I adjusted the bag on my shoulder and glanced at her once more, before turning and walking straight out of the house. It was dark by now, so I was hoping she wouldn’t wake up until tomorrow. Hopefully, by then, I’d be long gone.

I climbed into my car and instantly revved the engine, staring through the windshield at my house. There were so many of what I thought were good memories. I’d grown up in that house. In this neighbourhood in this little town. Over the years, I’d seen my mother cry and laugh and shout and smile more times than I could remember.

But I’d never once questioned my life, and why I looked nothing like who I thought my dad was, and nothing like my mum either. Or why Robert had practically refused to get close to me and pushed me away so many times.

And I’d never once considered the chances of my mother lying to me like she had. She used to be the person I honestly looked up to sometimes. Other times, I could’ve easily sworn I hated her. Most of those times were when she’d get totally drunk.

That’s when I’d see her personality split.

“Don’t cry.” I whispered harshly to myself, wiping a tear away as it rolled down my cheek. “You don’t need to cry.”

Before I could let any more tears fall, I composed myself, turning the car radio on and pulling out of my driveway. I tried to keep positive thoughts in my head as I drove. This was supposed to be good. For once, I was doing something for myself.

But then the negative thoughts would come along and drown them out. I couldn’t even guarantee that I was going to get a flight. I was taking a huge risk by just turning up at the airport and being hopeful, that was for sure.

But I had to do this, no matter how fine I was cutting it. There could be no more waiting around and taking up time. Now that I had the truth in front of me, I needed to do something about it, and that was what I was doing.

So after I’d stopped at the cash point and drawn out more money, I climbed back into my car, my body shaking more than it had ever done before.

And began to drive to the airport.

Hopefully to start my journey in finding answers that I needed to find.