so today was a shitty day for me :)
let me just describe my "illness"
so idk why and neither does my mom but i've been losing hair yikes. and i've felt sick for like a month now and it started getting worse yesterday. like i already had a sniffly nose and body aches but i was on my period yesterday (i think i'm off) and yeah so that's great.
but yeeesterdayyy. yesterday i had a pounding headache and it was like from my forehead to inside my eye, like it felt like my head was splitting open. and it didn't even go away when i fell asleep last night and it always goes away after i go to bed.
then i woke up again around 9 since i was really tired at 8:30 so i went to bed. anyways, i woke up at 9 thinking that it was like 12 am, it felt like at least two or three hours since i'd gone to bed. but really, it was only half an hour. i woke up at 9 to do homework.
then i tried to go back to sleep after just going on my phone and stuff & i couldn't go to sleep so i went to my mom asking for tylenol and i felt like i was dying my head felt so bad :((( then i went to sleep and that's when things got really weird.
so earlier that day, i seen a few clouds that literally looked like the devil yelling at me and i was like oh lol and then i saw another few clouds that looked like that. and that sounds like it has nothing to do with this but now i'm so damn suspicious because when i saw the clouds, i joked:
"is this a sign?" and my mom was like,
"don't say stuff like that."
so when i went to bed that night, it literally felt like my thigh was disintegrating into like pixels or just moving away from my body. it was like this weird feeling, not even a tingly feeling, it was just weird.
and then my feet started moving involuntarily and i was breathing heavily and my head was pounding and i got up a couple times to babble to myself and panic about my bed sheets. like i got up once or twice to start whispering to myself and moving my sheets and i didn't even know what i was talking about.
i literally felt so fuckin weird like that's never happened before. and then i started feeling something like over my back and this used to always happen to me. like i would have bad dreams when i was little about a witch touching my back and like pressing her fingers into my back and it would be really uncomfortable and after the dream it would feel like somebody was touching my back. even if i didn't have a dream. also, i'm not even trying to freak u guys out like this legitimately happened.
and it still happens now but not as often and this time it was a little different than how it usually happens, like it felt like mist was travelling up my back. but then i finally got a good sleep.
i woke up feeling okay but i didn't wanna go to school so i lied to my mother and said that my headache was still there. she was like "okay, go get ready and we'll see how you feel later on."
so omg then my day at school. ugh. so i think latin was third period and i did the homework completely wrong because i was super confused. so she called me up and started scolding me asking if i even listened during class and looked at the worksheet and saying that i didn't do the homework even though i did. she said if you get it wrong, it's fine, you still get credit for doing it. and i did it but she has the nerve to say that :)))
if i'm confused about a topic in class, that means you're doing something wrong. not me.
i don't know why she had to get mad at me just because i was confused about something. then she was like,
"so, just like my last class, you all did a poor job on your homework."
and she said this to the whole class right after she finished yelling at me like wtf ?
then i was like 'whatever, zuzu.' in my head. then we started reviewing the topic and she called on me once and i was like ughh oh shit. so then i was confused so she was like,
"are you looking at the right paper? find augeo (the word we were conjugating/ reviewing."
and then she said, "Find the fourth conjugation."
and so i was still confuckingfused so i went to the third conjugation and she was like,
"oh my god can you count?"
and then i just felt really d*mb because everyone else was understanding it but me and she was acting like i was in pre school or something because i was confused and i felt like crying. if you're a teacher, when a student is confused, don't d*mb them down and ask them a question sarcastically when you know they're capable.
and so then i was mad so i was like, "it's right here." in this fucking demon voice. and she was like,
"okay."
and then i said it wrong and she did this thing and then most of the class started laughing at me except for this really nice girl behind me who tried to explain why some people were confused to the teacher while she was making me feel stup*d. and even my friends started laughing like they know i'm hella confused about this, i talk about how confusing latin is when we're group chatting.
so then i really felt like crying because everyone was laughing at me just for being confused and even my friends which really hurt when i heard one of them laughing. and it's like whenever anyone(not just my friends) is being called out in class by the teacher or is clearly confused and frustrated with a topic, i don't have the nerve to laugh at them because i've been in that situation. i don't laugh at people who don't understand something just because i get it. i've always tried to help out classmates if they were confused. like even in math class which i suck at math last year, my friend told me i should be a tutor.
do not laugh at someone for not understanding something ! ! ! it's hard enough that they don't understand something and the teacher is dogging them for it, you don't have to laugh. anyways, i'm really sensitive about those things because i felt really d*mb due to the way the teacher was handling this n then hearing everyone laugh including so called friends just ok
anyways the rest of the class i was about to cry and snot was just fuh-lowing out of my nose and then the bell rang and i stormed out of the classroom + to algebra 1 so i could just get a pass for the nurse and i didn't do math homework so my grade is already going down :)
and then nurse blah blah blah then my dad picked me up early and then yeah i'm here and if my friends realize i'm not at school i hope they figure that i wasn't feelin school after that trainwreck of a latin class and i hope they remember that they laughed so they feel bad too
oh yeah and carlos has a girlfriend so god bless he doesn't like me but i'm kinda embarrassed that i talked about how i was 90 percent sure that he liked me dammit!23!211!1!1!
yeah i feel like shit thx to my teacher and im already sick and my dad is watching the republican debate and im just gna watch ratatouille bc he fell asleep and i hope the rest of my day is like hell
#zuzaf
