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Twenty-three

《 POV Joshua 》

I walk slowly towards Jeonghan, cracking my knuckles to get rid of my stress, yes talking heart-to-heart with him stresses me out I'm not the kind of person to say loud and clear " I've got love feelings for you, please be my boyfriend. " plus it's not a great request in real life, but he'd understand right ?

I delicately sit down at the water's edge, obviously having taken off my shoes so that I can dip my feet in the pool, my gaze never leaving Jeonghan's, I think I've really become a psychopath, seriously, it's weird what I'm doing !

Slowly I see Jeonghan arrive, his smile can easily compete with the sun, I don't know why this boy shines as bright as the sun, eh ! Why am I becoming so stupid ? It's so unlike me...

" Joshuji-ya ? Will you swim with me ? " Said the black-haired boy, putting his hair back in place.

" Joshuji-ya ? Oh no I'm clearly lazy right now. Come along with me here instead. "

" It's a mix of your American first name and your Korean first name. Isn't it cute ? "

" Um, come on. "

I see my eldest nod, he comes to lean on the edge of the pool and with the help of his arms he gets out of the water. My gaze hasn't left his movements, my eyes linger on his chest, I quickly look away, I'm becoming obsessed with him, it's not right with me anymore.

After a moment's reflection, I allow myself to look again at my eldest, who's shivering from the cold, of course he's such an idiot, even if the sun heats you up when you get out of the water, you're rarely warm, so instinctively.

I go and get a towel, which was lying on a chair a few centimetres away from us, so I take it and come back to Jeonghan. Once I'm beside him, I place the towel on his back and sit back down on the edge of the pool.

We don't look at each other, our gazes are plunged on the horizon, but without really understanding why my hand goes for his, and it's only then that Jeonghan turns to him and I turn to him too.

" Jeonghan-ah, we need to talk. "

I've laid the foundations now we're going to have to continue this conversation without blanks or it's going to be awkward and damn long.

" I honestly think the status I gave you at the hospital should officially be your status. "

So it sounded clear in my subconscious but once said openly it sounds pretty bad and weird, if he doesn't understand I'll be obliged to ask him the classic question.

" Do you really want me to be ? " my eldest asks.

" Why don't you want to ? "

" Yes, of course I do, but it's for you, not me."

" Can you explain it clearly to me, I'm the one proposing why I wouldn't want to ? "

" I always thought you didn't love me. "

Then I see him lower his head, and I feel damn stupid because of my really hard character, he's thought all this time that I didn't love him, in truth I've never felt any hatred towards him, it's not his fault his parents are scum.

Gently, to reassure him, I put my right hand on his thigh, then place a kiss in his hair, after which I step back and raise his head, our eyes locking.

" I've never felt any hatred towards you, Jeonghan."

" But then why ? "

" That's my character. After we kissed though you should have understood that I didn't hate you."

" Since you disappeared and didn't sleep with me, I thought you had regrets about that."

" No, absolutely not, I just wanted to train as much as possible - it had nothing to do with you, I assure you. "

His eyes sparkle, I've managed to touch him or reassure him I don't know maybe both at the same time, nevertheless following our tune-up we've both decided to go to bed it's been so long since we've slept together in the same bed, it's going to feel good to find his body against mine.