Brown Sugar

FACING REALITY

3Week Later....

I walked around the couch handing Lijah the bowl of cereal sitting next to him.

"Thank you sis." He said grabbing the bowl trying to sit up. "Careful. Careful." I said helping him up. "Girl stop treating me like I'm sick." He said laughing. "You may not be sick but your dumb ass is shot!" I said looking him up and down making him smack his lips. "Ha ha that." I said sarcastically pressing play on Charmed.

We grew up watching this show every morning before school and it never got old.

"Man when Ari supposed to be back? I need to go to the store." He said messing with his hair. "She at work and you not going anywhere. You were just shot three weeks ago or do you remember?" I asked not believing him.

"Yes I remember Marlicia, you can stop reminding me!" He said getting frustrated making us sit in an awkward silence. "Look.. I'm sorry Lijah. That shit just scared the fuck out of me." I said making him nod understandingly. "That's why you broke up with Reggie?" He asked making me smack my lips and roll my eyes.

Since I broke up with Reggie he's been popping up at the club and at my house. The only reason he left last time is because I threatened to call the cops on him for not leaving my yard. And of course he tried sending flowers and gifts but it was too hard talking to him right now.

"Don't you worry about me and Reggie, worry about recovering." I said making him smack his lips and shake his head. "Nah, nah. That man love you bru' and you being like this. I'ma grown ass man, I got shot cause a nigga caught me lacking from behind. Reggie kilt that nigga as soon as he shot me." He said. "That man saved my life." He grabbed his phone unlocking it going to his contacts pressing Reggie's name.

"Call him." He said shoving the phone towards me.

"You don't understand Lijah." I said shaking my head feeling a lone tear fall.

"I'll be right back." I said sniffing going down the hall to my bedroom closing the door.

"God why?" I looked up crying shaking my head. I flopped down on my bed looking at the bathroom door making me sit up straight.

Truth is, I had been hiding a huge secret for a while now. A secret me and Ari only knew about. I stood up walking to the bathroom door slowly opening it up looking over at the jewelry box on my sink. I took a deep breath pulling the pregnancy test out looking over the two pink lines for what felt like the thousandth time. Last week I took the test and it came back positive, of course I cried my eyes out. Ari was there with me the whole time making sure I didn't lose my mind behind this break up, my brother being shot, and learning that I'm now pregnant. She was the best.

Reggie didn't know yet and I wasn't sure how to tell him. I didn't even want to see his ass but I knew he deserved to know the news. Learning that Reggie took the nigga's life that tried to take Lijah only bought little comfort. I still have dreams of Lijah laying up there on that dining table looking at me to save him. He was looking for his big sister to help and I couldn't which tore me up inside.

I picked up my phone going to Reggie's number biting my bottom lip. My mind raced with all kind of thoughts, when I became a parent I didn't imagine doing it alone but I definitely never want to imagine telling our child that their father has been shot and killed. Reggie was going to try his best to get back together once he knows but I still wasn't ready. I don't know if I will be.

To Reginald: can you meet me at the park next to the high school in thirty minutes?

I sent the message rocking back and forth rubbing my small belly. I wasn't showing much but I definitely had a little gut. My guess was I was about a month, I felt like that night at the baseball field was definitely the night we made the baby. My appointment was next week to be sure. Immediately the three dots popped up making me look closely.