50 Shades of Harry Styles

chapter 35

SOPHIE**

 I was sitting in Eleanor’s and Louie’s room after dinner. Louie was at the shower and for the moment Eleanor and I were alone. I got up and moved closer to her in the bed where Eleanor was surfing the internet.

“Ellie, something happened with Zayn today.” I whispered. Her eyes popped open like mini saucers.

“What?!?!” She whispered back as she closed her laptop. I nodded and pursed my lips.

“He asked me out.” I said Eleanor’s expression was priceless she looked as if she just swallowed a worm and couldn’t get it out of her mouth.

“No, no, no. Sophie you cannot do that again.” She said grabbing my elbow.

“That’s what I thought but it’s Zayn he’s a nice guy and this may just be the thing to get me over Harry.” I said covering her hand with mine. Eleanor sighed and shook my arm lightly.

“Sophie this is not a ‘thing’ this is Zayn.” She said sternly.

“I know Ellie that’s why I’m not rushing into things.” I said. She shook her head again and looked me straight in the eyes.

“Listen, okay? Do not have another relationship with a one direction member ever in your life. I swear it’s going to ruin your relationship with your brother and the rest of the band.” She said. I bit my lip and nodded.

“Yea this will be more awkward than anything. I haven’t even gotten the Harry part resolved.” I said. Eleanor loosened her grip and relaxed.

“Wait you and Harry haven’t talked about your break up yet?” She asked.

“Well, technically no we haven’t it’s just kind of awkward. I don’t even know the girl’s name or what she looked like.” I said with a smirk.

“Tell you one thing she looked a lot like you.” Eleanor said. What? She looked like me? I wrinkled my eyebrows at her as my brain processed this information. If I was going to cheat on my boyfriend I wouldn’t pick someone who looked like him unless…

“Hey girls what are you talking about?” Louie got out of the shower with only a small towel covering his waist.

“Ewww, Louie put some pants on!” I said getting up. He winked at me and started shaking his hips I was afraid the towel might fall off. God knows what I’ll live to see.

“Smexyyyy” Louie said. Eleanor threw a pillow at him and laughed.

“I do not want to see my big brother naked. Ellie talk to you tomorrow.” I said giving her a look and giving my brother a disgusted expression before heading out the door and slamming it close. I rested my back against the wall and sighed. There were a lot of things Harry and I needed to talk about. Suddenly heading to bed wasn’t as appealing as before. I headed for the little door in the living room leading to the bus roof and opened it.

“Girl I see it in your eyes you’re disappointed cuz I’m in the foolish one that you anointed with your heart I tore it apart” I heard the lyrics clearly and glanced up. I saw Harry, the person I wanted to talk to the most laying on a red blanket with his hands behind his head. His eyes were closed and he had ear pods in his ears. I smiled at his expression and tiptoed to his side.

“Psssst!” I said.

“And girl what a mess I made upon your innocence.” He sang again. I crouched beside his head and removed his ear phones. His eyes popped open and he jerked upward.

“Hey there superstar.” I said sitting down.

“Sophie? What are you doing here?” He said. Even in the moonlight I could tell he was blushing terribly, it only made me laugh more.

“The stars do look lovely tonight.” I said breathing in the fresh air.

“What are you really doing here?” He said.

“Having a mini concert just like you.” I said smiling. He shook his head and frowned at me.

“Isn’t Zayn going to miss you downstairs?” He said rolling his earphones into a ball and slipping them inside his pockets.

“Zayn and I aren’t together.” I said crossing my arms. He gave me a snort and pulled the blanket out from under me. I glared at him and stood up.

“Yea, that’s what everyone says.” He muttered as he folded the blanket.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I raised my eyebrows at him in defiance.

“You surely got over me pretty quickle, huh Sophie?” He said throwing back the comment over his shoulder at me.

“I can’t believe you’re being a jerk again Harry!” I said leaning in the side of the rail and looking heatedly at Harry. He dropped the blanket into the floor and turned toward me.

“I wasn’t a jerk to you!” He said raising his voice.

“Oh yea? Can I point out the fact that you cheated on me, asked me for one last kiss and when I tried to be friendly with you, you shunned me off!” I said throwing my arms in the air.

“It was never my intention to cheat on you that night!” He said in return. He started and caught himself. It was one of those things you think of constantly and blurt it when you’re in an argument. He looked at me again and grabbed the blanket.

”Your nothing but a lying cheating bastard!” I said as Harry was shocked and for a moment he just stood there completely immobile then he started to stalk away. He shook his head but didn’t turn around.

“I never stopped loving you Sophie and I probably never will.” Harry said. My heart leapt to my throat as Harry turned back and gave me the most sincere look I had ever seen. He loved me.

“So why did you cheat on me?” I croaked out.

“Because I missed you and the girl looked just like you. After a couple of alcohol I lost it and there’s not a day I blame myself for what I did to you.” He said pursing his lips.

“You’re lying.” I said more to myself than to him. These kinds of things only happened in fairytales.

“No I’m not.” He said. He started walking for the door again.

“Wait, why did you come here in the first place?” I said. The bus roof was a memorable place for both of us. It was magical too.

“Because I wanted to remember that first night when we danced together under the stars I know it sounds crazy but I wanted to relive that moment just one last time.” He said.

“Harry I—“ I pursed my lips and sighed. My emotions were in a chaotic turmoil. All this time I thought Harry was this big jerk who cheated on me because I wasn’t enough for him but it turns out there was more to the situation that met the eye.

“It’s okay Sophie. Don’t think about me I’d get over it I’m a big boy now.” He gave me a sad smiled and opened the latch to the door. Before I knew it he was gone. Then I noticed a piece of paper and a pen where Harry was laying on a couple of minutes ago. I got it and spread the paper for me to read.

Dear Sophie,

              There’s never a day that passes by that I don’t regret that night at the bar. I was stupid and a jerk. And believe me if things would’ve gone differently I wouldn’t have slept with that woman. I can’t believe that I let someone as special as you slip out of my fingers. I want to say a million things to you Sophie but I’m afraid that I might hurt you again. Bottom line is I love you and I know you’ve heard this line before but it’s the truth and I’m going to continue saying it until it doesn’t hurt anymore. You may think I’m the biggest womanizer in the face of the earth but you’re the only woman I ever truly loved. I miss you so much and the day you came and I met you in the airport I had to stop myself from kissing you right there. I didn’t know that love could hurt so much but I guess it was all my fault. I don’t deserve you Sophie…

Love,

Harry Styles

I wiped the tears from my eyes and pocketed the letter. Harry still loved me. But did I love him back? It was the hardest question I asked myself. And then there was Zayn good old reliable Zayn. I wiped the tears from my eyes again and went through the door. Tomorrow I’d sort through this.