Temari grunted as she readjusted her hold on her brothers arm. On the other side of him, was her was her first youngest brother. Beads of sweat fell from his painted face as he tighten his hold of the draped arm around his neck. Determination burned in his eyes as he continued to push his way through the forests of the Land of Fire. Seeing her brother's determination, Temari felt her own resolve strength as she continued to pulse chakra into her legs to keep going.
They had been traveling for a while now, being approximately five hours away from Konohagakure. When they initially left, they were heading southwest of the Hi no Kuni to take the original route back to their village. However, they had to take a detour when they ran into a team of Konoha ANBU. Trying to outrun them was hard. Kankuro damn near lost his life trying to throw them off and help her and her brother escape. They managed to get away when Temari used her 'Wind Scythe Jutsu' to delay them. The two sand genin had never been so afraid in their life. The ANBU operatives that were after them aimed to kill and it didn't help that Gaara was still asleep.
After surviving the ANBU by the skin of their teeth, the Suna genin decided to head west, toward the northern part of the Land of Rivers. They prayed to kami that they wouldn't run into anymore ANBU. Or Ame shinobi at that, knowing that the small village was located in a territory that bordered the northern part of Kawa no Kuni. Shortly, Temari and Kankuro began to pant as they struggled to keep up their fast pace as well as support their brother's weight. Kankuro had the bulk of it and when paired with the own weight of his puppet, it made running a lot more challenging for the puppet user.
They had traveled for another two hours before they could no longer keep up their pace. They had made a small camp somewhere deep in the forest and made the fire small so they wouldn't be spotted so easily. Although they were exhausted, Kankuro and Temari managed to catch themselves some food while leaving Gaara sleeping under a tree. When they returned, Kankuro placed the caught fish over the fire and relaxed under another tree, feeling drained by their whole experience. Temari rested her back upon a tree as well. She allowed her battle fan to rest on the tree as well. She grimaced at the fact that the metal guards of her fan was dented. She was going to have to have it repaired when they finally made it home.
The Sand kunochi turned to look at her brother, who had his eyes closed and his puppet leaning against the tree like her fan. She could see the tiredness and fatigue through his body as it coursed through her own. Today had really taken a lot of her energy and chakra. As much as she and Kankuro wanted to keep moving, their bodies simply wouldn't allow it. Had they not taken the time to rest, they would be dead before they even reached Kaze No Kuni. The girl sighed as she began to stare into the fire. Her stomach rumbled as the smell of the cooking fish, letting her know that she was on empty.
"Do you think Baki-sensei's okay?" Kankuro asked out of the blue.
Temari was pulled out of her thoughts and her teal eyes fell on her brother's tired form. "I don't know." she said thoughtfully.
"I know that sensei is strong." Kankuro replied as he opened one of his eyes. "But, I still worry for him."
Temari didn't say anything as her eyes returned to the fire. As the night settled, the crickets began to the chirp and they could hear the light animal calls that resounded through the forest. When the fish was finally done, Temari pulled them from over the fire and handed some to Kankuro before taking her share to her seat. Kankuro quickly devoured his while Temari ate at a moderate pace. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at her sleeping brother. She wasn't sure whether to get him something or not. He hadn't woken up since their retreat from Konoha.
"When do you think he will wake up?" Temari said as she stared at Gaara.
Kankuro paused mid-meal and turned to look at his brother as well. "I don't know, jan." he answered, hearing his Sunan accent slip out. "He'll probably be out for a couple of more hours. I've never really seen him sleep before."
Temari continued to stare at her brother as she took a bite out her fish. "I wonder what happened to him." she said. "I've never seen him like this."
"I thought you said you saw the fight." Kankuro replied.
"I did....." Temari trailed off before she frowned. "But, the last thing I remember was that blond kid fighting him before everything went black. I don't remember much after that."
"Did you faint, jan?" Kankuro questioned.
Temari's eyebrows furrowed at this. "No." she replied. "I would have fallen out of a tree and broken something."
She was silent for a moment before she spoke once more. "I think I was knocked unconscious." she finally said.
It was Kankuro's turn to furrow his eyebrows. "Who could have done that?" he asked to no one in specific.
"I don't know." Temari said thoughtfully. "All I know is that I woke up a few miles away from the battle site under a tree. I was trying to find Gaara when I found you in the trees injured." she replied, trying to think of anyone who could have done it.
"You think that blond brat did it?" Kankuro mused.
Temari frowned at that. "No." she said before her eyes traveled back to Gaara. "But I do know he did something to Gaara. I swear if he's done anything to hurt him, I'll kill him." she said leaking a bit of killing intent.
Finishing up the last of his meal, Kankuro looked at his brother as well. He could understand his sister's worry for him. Never in their life had they seen Gaara sleep nor have they've ever seem him so subdued. The fact that he wasn't up killing scared them even more than when he was doing so. When something becomes normal, one couldn't help but be concerned about it. Especially when the change is as dramatic as Gaara's. He stared at his brother for a little while longer before he sighed. In all honesty, he was too worn out to be thinking. He would rather be sleeping if anything.
"I'm going to try to get some shut eye." Kankuro said with yawn, already feeling his eyes grow heavy.
Temari nodded at her brother. "I'll take first watch." she replied as she finished her meal.
Kankuro just nodded as he shut his eyes. Minutes later, Temari could hear her brother's loud snores from across the clearing. 'He must have really been worn out....' she mused to herself as she rested her head against the tree. The embers of the fire began to grow weak. Before Temari realized it, she had succumbed to her stress and fatigue as well, allowing the night to lull her to sleep. Neither genin heard the light shift sand later on that night.
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Gaara leaned against the trunk of the tree, watching as the dawn began to reach through the forest canopy. It's pale golden fingers stroked the strands of green grass with wavering sunlight and the leaves shook in anticipation to feel the sun's warm touch once more. One of his legs were propped up on the branch with his arm resting upon his knee. His sea foam green eyes explored the world surrounding him, trying to comprehend it - trying to comprehend himself and the being that he was. He could hear the faint sounds of birds calling, waiting to flash their beautiful wings across the green leaves. Small insects began to rise, the small buzzing of bees and flies replacing the twilight chirps of crickets.
'Love only yourself and fight only for your sake. Your mother wished and believed that your existence would last forever as long as you lived in such a manner.'
He lightly frowned as his uncle's words rung through his mind. He brought his hand up and stared at his palm. He moved each finger slowly, aware of the motion yet unable to feel. He had known for a long time, since he was a child, that he was unwanted in this world. His father had tried to murder him. The villagers both rejected and feared him. His brother and sister were afraid to be around him most of the time.
After awhile, he had grown to accept his fate. He had learned that he was made to be alone and that no one desired him. Along the way, he had shut himself away from the world that shunned him. He no longer longed to feel - to connect like he once head. He quickly realized he could care for no one, but himself. That was the only way his existence would remain. That was why he sought to kill. That was why he diminished anyone he thought was stronger than him. All his life it had been his existence against theirs - and he refused to cease to exist.
'Your existence is something only you can prove and define.'
The jinchuriki continued stare at his fingers as the conflicting ideologies replayed through his head. 'I create my own existence.....?' he thought to himself as his eyes traveled back to rising sun that continued to peak over the horizon. 'Mother believed my existence would last if I only loved myself. But....' he trailed off as his mind wandered to the boy who had defeated him. The loud, obnoxious kid with a funny named and a ridiculous amount of chakra. The one had saw as weak and insignificant. The one who had silenced the voice in his head and had subdued the monster inside him.
When he had looked into those icy blue eyes, he could see that like him, he had seen those - all of them. He had seen the eyes that glared with him with a piercing hate, pinning him against the wall like a struggling butterfly in a bug collection. He was familiar of those words, fond with them all - the insults and names that stung with a freezing fear and branded the soul with the stigma of a murderer, someone who had killed and turned the desert's sand crimson. An ocean of blood to taste - for it.
But what ensnared the jinchuriki was something else that his blue eyes held. It was something that he could not identify nor were they like the Uchiha's. It was as if he was something more than a boy that had lived a life of isolation and solitude. This new look confused him. It was like both life and death danced in his eyes, dancing a never ending tango for rights to his soul. He had never encountered eyes like his before and it made the jinchuriki wonder. What exactly was he?
'What gives our existence value....purpose and vision.....'
'My purpose is to protect those I consider precious to me. However, my vision is to create and provide for them so that they can stay protected and thrive. You only have something to fight for when there is something precious to you. That is what makes us truly strong.'
Gaara's gaze moved past his fingers and slowly descended down to the clearing where his siblings slept. Unknown to him,they had agreed to each take a guard shift for the night, only to both succumb to exhaustion. Several sandy strands of blond hair had escaped Temari's ponytails and wavered with the morning breeze. One cat ear on Kankuro's hood had dropped downward, flopping much like a dog's ear. Both of their eyes were closed and they seemed like in what he thought was perfectly positioned corpses. He shook his head at that thought.
'How do I find what's precious to me?'
'Your brother and sister love you, Gaara. They may be afraid of you, but they try. And they have never left your side, despite of everything. Perhaps, that is a good place to start.'
"Love?" Gaara said to no one. "Is that what makes him so strong.....?" he questioned in what sounded like a whisper.
Gaara stared at the two people who called themselves his siblings for few more moments. His eyes eventually returned to the sun who seemed to peek over the horizon even more. The white clouds seemed to reflect the array of color in the sky and the morning songs of the birds seemed to become more frequent. His head tilted to the side a little as he watched the scenery. He wondered if the skies in Suna were like this in the morning. He had sat in the tree for a couple of hours, drinking in the first light of day when the sound of a voice caught his attention.
"G-Gaara?" Kankuro called out with a faltering voice.
Gaara's eyes slowly traveled down to the puppet master who was scuffed and bruised. He said nothing as Kankuro stiffly pushed himself to his feet and stood, looking up at him. He shuffled a little under his brother's gaze as those terrorizing green eyes looked down at him from the tree top. Despite of his brash attitude, the older boy was always uncomfortable around him.
"You okay, jan?" Kankuro asked.
Gaara blinked at him and watched Kankuro's eyebrows furrow at his lack of response. For hours of the previous day, despite of their own injuries, his brother and sister had carried him in their retreat from Konoha. Not only had they carried his full weight, but they had carried the weight of their own heavy weapons plus his gourd while he was unconscious. He frowned a little at the realization. How else could they have gotten there. He disappeared from the tree top in a burst of sand before reappearing in the clearing. He didn't say nothing to his older brother for a minute.
"I'm fine." Gaara finally replied with a toneless voice.
Kankuro hesitantly walked up to the boy under his wavering gaze. He cautiously reached out and fingered the bandage Temari had applied to his wound he had received from the Uchiha.
"If you say so, man." Kankuro commented. "But that bandage has been bled through." he pointed out.
Gaara frowned in confusion. He started to ask Kankuro why it mattered. He wasn't used to having an injury as he had never experienced one before. He equally unused to having people care if he were 'hurt' in any sense or fashion. He stared at his hand, not understanding why the boy was bothering to inspect his wound. As he stood and watched his brother inspect his wound, Naruto's words echoed in his mind: 'Your brother and sister love you, Gaara.' His expression became thoughtful at this thought. 'What is love....?' he asked himself. 'What...does it feel like?'
"Kankuro." Temari said groggily as she began to wake up. She paused when her eyes landed on her youngest brother who was staring at her with a blank expression. "Gaara...." she greeted with a bit of hesitance only to receive nothing in response.
"Hey, he's bled through his bandages." Kankuro said as he motioned his sister over. "We should get him cleaned up again and apply some more medicine."
Temari turned to look at Kankuro before nodding. The blond kunoichi struggled to her feet before she stretched her sore limbs. She then walked across the clearing toward her brothers and arrived at Gaara's other side, stealing a nervous glance at Gaara who was just staring at the girl.
"Okay. I have enough supplies left to treat him." Temari said as she reached in her pouch and pulled out a roll of bandages and a box of medicine.
Looking at her, Gaara noticed that she, too, was scuffed and bruised. Some of the bruises, he noticed, had been his fault from when he had pushed her away. An unfamiliar feeling of discomfort came upon him as he pointed out the bruises he had caused her. Here she was, in worst condition than himself, and she was using the last of her supplies on him. 'Can people really save me from being alone?' he wondered, not noticing Kankuro moving to remove his dirty bandage. The boy subconsciously jump as his body registered foreign hands moving across his chest toward the wound. He looked up at his brother who pulled back at the boy's sudden movement.
"What?" Gaara said in a monotone voice.
"Just helping, jan." Kankuro chuckled nervously.
Gaara stared at the puppet-user for a moment before he slowly nodded. Kankuro unsheathed a kunai and cut through the old bandage with utmost care. When he finally cut through it, he pulled away the brittle, blood-soaked cloth, setting it on the ground as Temari went to do her part. He just stared at Kankuro, inwardly surprised at how he gently removed the old dressings. In his opinion, the puppet-user had no reason to look after him, yet here he was, patching him up and making sure he was okay.
"You took quite a hit." Kankuro commented. "It's still pretty hard to believe." he said as he stretched, popping bone and stretching tired muscle.
Gaara remained silent as Temari leaned toward the wound from the other side of him. "Yeah, but it's almost healed." she said in surprise as she began to do her part.
With a tender touch, Temari used a gaze pad to wipe what was left of the wound with medicine after cleaning off the dry blood. The jinchuriki could only stand there as he watched her focus on cleaning and treating his already healing wound. As she pulled away, the boy opened his mouth to say something, but could only find himself incapable of producing words. Looking into the eyes of his siblings, he didn't see any hate tinting their eyes. The most he could identify was hesitance, nervousness, and concern? As a matter fact, they treated him the same way they treated each other when they go hurt. 'Has it always been this way?' he began to think about his family.
He knew they feared him. Everyone did. He knew they saw him as a monster. Everyone did. However, unlike everyone else, they didn't push him away or look at him with hatred. They may have feared him, but they've always tried to include him. They may have saw him as a monster, but they've never left him. If anything, they tried to appease him and keep him subdued. They've always referred to him as their brother and he didn't recall them ever insulting him. Despite of everything that they had seen him do and the things he has done to terrorize them, they were still there. By his side.
Temari and Kankuro looked at their brother with a worried gaze. Their brother had always been quiet, but never this type of quiet. His eyes weren't dark and crazy like they used to be and the boy seemed pensive and calm. This Gaara was definitely a new experience for them and they didn't exactly know how to deal with it. After a very long awkward silence, Temari finally spoke.
"Well we should keep moving." the Sand kunoichi said as she put up her medical supplies.
Kankuro nodded as he went to grab his puppet. "Will you be fine to move on your own, jan?" he asked over his shoulder.
It took Gaara a moment to respond until he finally said something. "Yes." he replied.
Temari only hummed in acknowledgement as she grabbed her battle fan and placed it on back. "You guys ready?" she asked as she turned to her brothers.
Gaara didn't say anything while Kankuro just nodded. Getting into a v-formation with Gaara upfront, the Suna genin began to move through the forests of Hi no Kuni once more. It was going to take a few days before they reached their home and they needed to be out of the Fire Country by mid-day. While they still worried about the ANBU, they felt a little more at ease now that Gaara was up. They no longer had to carry extra weight and they had more man-power.
The journey to the Fire border was awkwardly silent. Temari and Kankuro stole curious and worried glances from their brother while Gaara only looked at them with an expression that appeared to be a mixture of curiosity, confusion, and contemplation. The brother and sister turned to look at each other before looking at their brother's back. They wondered what was going on in that mind of his.