Sean woke up, his mind immediately filling with memories from the previous night. The couple still laid, wearing minimal clothing, legs tangled together under the sheets.
Sean gently stroked Kaycee's cheek, attempting to coax her awake.
"Why're you smiling like that?" Kaycee giggled as her tired eyes opened.
"Because..." Sean's smile grew as his wife's smile lit up the room. "You could be..." Sean gently tickled Kaycee's tummy. "Pregnant."
The mention of that notion sent Kaycee's mind into a spiral. Of course, she was happy, beyond happy.
Yet, it had been a rough past year for the two. They had lost their first baby, a son they had chosen to name Derek, as an ode to the man who became a second father to the both of them on their time as teens on World Of Dance, to a bicycle accident early on in Kaycee's pregnancy.
It startled Kaycee, as a miscarriage does to a mother. The next year she worked to put herself back together, but not until she kept pulling allnighters, drinking ungodly amounts of coffee, pushing Sean away, and ending up falling into his arms in sobs almost every night.
It was hard.
What if this baby was the same? What if it happened again?
She didn't think she could handle that.
"Aren't you happy?" Sean asked, pulling Kaycee out of her own head.
"Yeah, I...I am."
Sean frowned. "No, you're not. What's wrong?"
Kaycee let out a gentle sigh, settling into Sean's newfound hold on her waist. "I-I'm terrified. What if I lose this baby to? What if baby isn't alright? What if I'm broken? Sean, I spent the past year wrestling with the idea that if I couldn't give you a child, you wouldn't love me anymore, and I...I can't do that all over again."
"Kaycee Lew." Sean shook his head. "Stop, stop, stop. I will always love you. Do you understand me?" Sean let the room fall to silence for a moment. "Come here." He pulled her head gently into his bare chest, pressing kisses to Kaycee's scalp. "You're not broken, My Love. You're beautiful, and charming, and you deserve more than anybody to be a mother, because you will love that baby unconditionally. Just like how you love me."
Kaycee mumbled a gentle, "I love you," against Sean's skin.
Here, she felt safe. She'd spent most of the last twelve months pushing him away, but goodness did she need Sean, and Sean needed her.