rewrite the stars -zendaya and zac efron
All I want is to fly with you
All I want is to fall with you
So just give me all of you
It feels impossible
Is it impossible?
Say that it's possible
~
C: I'm sorry. Pls forgive me. I love you.
Crystal's hand shook as she pressed send. Her hand anxiously shook as she waited for their reply; she had to put her phone down and watch the three dots dance—meaning her recipient was typing.
She had been home in New York for a few hours which she spent mostly crying. The moment she unlocked her house, the tears escaped uncontrollably.
After she closed the front door behind her, she fell on her knees on the floor. Now that she was finally alone, she cried so hard that she physically felt her heart ache.
She was able to pull herself together in the next few hours after that, though her heart was still broken.
Vivian: Oh, Crystal. You are my best friend. I can never stay mad at you. I love you.
V: is everything okay? did you make it back home?
Crystal called Vivian instead of replying.
"Hey," Vivian's said through the phone.
"Hey." Crystal croaked in a quiet voice.
"What's wrong, Crys?" Vivian's best friend instincts kicked in after hearing Crystal's hoarse voice.
"I'm really sorry. I hate to be that friend that calls just to talk about herself."
"That's what friends are for Crys. I'm here to listen. Did something happen?"
"Shawn called."
"Oh? It didn't go well?"
"No," Crystal choked back a sob. "I don't know why I keep pushing him away. I'm so confused! I don't know what I'm doing, V."
"Crys, deep breaths. Deep breaths and tell me what happened."
Crystal followed her advice before she began speaking. "He called when we got to the airport. I guess I forgot to put the phone on mute and he heard Aiden took me to the airport when I said that you did."
"Oh, Crystal." Vivian sighed shaking her head. "You're going to have to start being honest with him, Crystal. Or at least be honest with yourself."
When she only got silent sobs for a reply, Vivian spoke again. "What did he say?"
Still crying she said: "I guess he called to say that he was going to forgive me but then...well yeah I lied again. I told him I'm having a hard time when he's not here and we'll talk about it when he gets back, but he doesn't get back for another month. He said something about making him choose between what he loves to do and me and something about leaving Canada is leaving him too."
"What do you really want, Crystal?"
Crystal didn't really know the answer to that. She's been asking herself the same question everyday since Aiden kissed her. She thinks she has an answer though, but she wasn't sure if its true. "I want him..." She paused. "...here with me." It sounded selfish but also true.
"You're done with work for a little bit. Do you want me to book you a ticket to Europe? I can do that for you."
That thought never even occurred to Crystal. She was on break, and to join him on tour would be perfect. But why didn't it sound as appealing to her as it should be? "I—umm. I'm not sure."
"I thought you just said you want to be with him?"
"I really don't know..."
"It's perfect, you're done with work. You can be with him; I'm sure he'd still love to have you. Didn't he ask you to come with him since the very beginning? Plus he was always with you when you were working."
"I'm kind of overwhelmed with all this girlfriend, long-distance, falling in love sh.it. It's distracting me from work, to be completely honest."
Crystal rarely swore. She always thought they weren't necessary. She argues that one can perfectly deliver a message without swearing; you're also safe from offending anyone without meaning to.
Vivian thought that she finally snapped. It somehow made sense to her now. Crystal liked having someone care for her. She hasn't had anyone focus on just her and its confusing her because she likes the feeling but she's so used to being independent that she doesn't know how a partnership works anymore.
But who said anything about falling in love?
"You have to make up your mind. And soon, Crystal. Then tell him."
Crystal sighed. "Okay."
"I still have some work to do before I can fly back home. Keep me posted, Crys."
"Thanks for being the best friend V. I'm sorry for snapping at you."
"Thanks for apologizing. Love you, Crys."
"Love you. Bye!"
They hung up and Crystal was left alone with her thoughts again.
She decided to shower and eat dinner. The whole time she was thinking of a way — any way — that could fix her relationship and she could only come up with one thing. She knew she had to call him. She has been distancing herself from her phone and not reading her messages since she arrived home but she can't be doing that forever.
Crystal padded to her kitchen, and poured herself a bottle of wine. She had to calm down before she called him. After her first glass, she poured herself another for back up before she headed to her balcony and finally glanced at her phone.
Shawn: Please call me when you land. We're not done talking, Crystal. I'll be waiting.
Crystal took a deep breath and tapped on his name. It took less than a minute for him to answer.
"Took you long enough." He said coldly.
"I've been thinking." She said but so badly wanted to add "...and crying".
They had a moment of silence until Shawn had enough of Crystal beating around the bush. "It's over, isn't it?" If she had called a few hours earlier, he could've been sad but he just sounded mad at this point.
She couldn't speak. Her heart was in her throat.
"Just tell me we're done, Crystal and I'll stop bugging you about it." He sounded so cold, but she deserved that.
"Shawn I—"
"No. I don't want the bulls.hit Crystal. Are you done with me? Yes or no?"
"It's not—"
"Fuc.king yes or no, Crystal Paige."
"Yes."
Shawn scoffed. He also stood in his hotel balcony looking up at the moon like she did. "There you go. That wasn't so hard wasn't it?"
Crystal was first to break. The tears escaped her eyes and blurred her vision of the moon. "Stop talking like that! Of course it was hard."
"I'm sorry if I'm angry at you, Crystal. I don't want to be but I am."
Crystal, at the moment, hated the fact that he was still sorry and that he was still honest about everything he felt towards her. He was truly too good for her; she thought.
"Go on. Yell at me. I deserve it."
Shawn pinched his nose hoping to stop the angry tears but to no avail.
"Fu.ck!" She heard him yell. She can imagine him in his balcony yelling at the city or the moon.
"It's alright, Shawn. I want you to let it out. It's okay. I promise." She cried as she assured him that she was hundred-percent serious about letting him let his anger out on her.
Her soft whisper made his tears fall like rain. Dam.n, did his heart hurt a lot at the moment.
"I'm angry at you for not fighting for me, Crystal. My heart fuc.king hurts. I hate that it makes me miss you even more. I want you here with me even more. I still want to see you backstage after the show, ask you how I did while you run your fingers through my hair. I'm so angry at you for not wanting that as much as I do. I'm angry at you for not wanting to try. I'm angry at you for giving up on us." He was twisting the knife that Crystal put in her own chest but nothing hurt as much when he said: "I'm angry at you for not willing to fall in love with me.
"I hate that I still want to wait for you. I still have hope for you and me— even after knowing you don't anymore. You hurt me like no one ever has, Crystal Paige, I hope you know that." He let out a big breath when he finished. It felt nice to let it out but it didn't make him hurt any less.
"I do. I know I do. And I'm so sorry, Shawn. Believe me. Before you doubt yourself, I want you to know this has nothing to do with Aiden. I made this decision on my own and it wasn't an easy decision. I still adore you."
Shawn felt a pinch in his heart. He deserved an explanation after all so he let her keep talking. But as she kept talking, he felt the anger towards her slowly slipping away.
"You deserve someone who can love you with every ounce of them. I am not that person yet. I'm letting you go because I don't want to lie to you anymore. You don't deserve to be in a relationship wherein you give more love than you receive. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm going to have to learn to love myself first before I learn how to truly love someone. Is that okay?"
"Yes. That's okay, Crystal."
"Okay."
"When you said you are not that person 'yet', will you promise me that when you think you are you'll come back to me?" When she didn't answer right away, he added. "Please?"
Crystal hated promises and always avoided making them— ever since the last time someone made a promise to her and broke it.
"Will you still want to be with me when that time comes?" She answered his question with her own question.
"Yes." He answered in a soft voice but then cleared his throat and repeated it with a firmer tone. "Yes, of course." He didn't know how long she'll take but to be completely honest, something inside him — inside both of them — knew that this was not the end of Shawn and Crystal.
"Then okay. I promise."
"I just remembered you hate promises."
"It's okay. I mean it, if you say you'll still want to be with me."
"Then I promise I'll still want you when that day comes."
"Okay."
"Crystal?"
"Hmm?"
"What happens when you hang up?" Her heart ached that he knew she will be the one to hang up.
"I-I don't know, Shawn."
It was impossible to be just friends with Shawn now, after know what they could have been. And as much as Shawn denied it, he'd want time away from Crystal.
Crystal laid down on the floor of her balcony so she could have a clear view of the moon and the stars. She put Shawn on speaker and laid her phone next to her head. She closed her eyes and imagined him laying next to her.
"Are you looking at the moon?" Crystal asked in a whisper.
"Yeah."
"Where are you right now?"
"In Barcelona."
"Is it beautiful out there?"
"Yeah. Theres a pretty view out in my balcony." In was getting late for Shawn but he didn't want to hang up. He went inside and laid in his bed. He shut off the lights to allow the moon to illuminate his room. "But there's still nothing I've seen that is as beautiful as you." He said making Crystal's heart pinch.
"I'm laying on my balcony floor so I can look at the moon."
"Yeah?" Crystal hummed 'yes'. "You must look kind of crazy laying on the floor."
"I probably do. But I also had some wine so in my head what I'm doing is completely normal." Shawn smiled; he loved her funny side. He closed his eyes, feeling tired. "What time is it there?"
"It's kinda late." He said. "Hey, Crys. Can I ask you one last favor?"
"Of course."
"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"
Crystal felt another tear escape her eyes. She would do anything to ease his pain. "Of course, Shawn. Of course."
Shawn smiled and closed his eyes while he set the phone by his ear, listening to her quiet breathing. He was so emotionally and physically exhausted that he almost fell asleep right then and there but he didn't miss when she started singing.
"There's a crack in my window
A bird in my room
Angels all over
That watch over you
When I'm walking on water
All my dreams have come true
Still, nothing means nothing
Without you, you"
Her voice quivered and cracked while she sang because she remembered how he would sing her this song when she couldn't fall asleep. She sang him a lullaby because it was probably the last time they'll be singing each other to sleep.
Shawn was half-asleep and couldn't decide if he heard her say "Goodbye, Shawn."
The next morning, Shawn awoke to a bright sunlight in his room. He smiled at the sun and stretched out his arms. But he frowned when he saw his phone laying by his ear and remembering last night's events.
When Crystal awoke, she was surprised to see a couple of cuts on her arms. When she was about to panic, she remembered drinking the rest of the bottle of wine while she listened to Shawn slightly snore in his sleep. To confirm last night's events, she glanced at her balcony and sure enough there lay a shattered green bottle of wine and a broken wine glass.
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME SEÑORITA
OOOH LA LA LA , How did you guys react to señorita??