broken home - 5 seconds of summer
They would yell, they would scream, they were fighting it out
She would hope, she would pray, she was waiting it out
Holding on to a dream
While she watches these walls fall down
Sharp words like knives, they were cutting her down
Shattered glass like the past, it's a memory now
Holding on to a dream
While she watches these walls fall down
~
Their little getaway holiday came by faster than they had wanted. They were both pretty busy and Crystal had to squeeze in a few extra hours at work so she can take a few days off to visit her family. She was working at least 20 hours a day but she tried her best not to be too stressed.
"Shawn?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you sure you want to meet my family?"
"Of course, Crys. Im sure it wont be that bad."
"I don't know about that." She tried to mumble under her breath.
Shawn gave her a sympathetic smile and decided it'll be for the best to change the subject. "I've booked our tickets. We leave in like 3 days. Sorry didn't tell you sooner, I haven't had the chance to see you."
They had barely seen each other because of Crystal's excessive working. "Sorry. Have you started packing yet? I should probably start packing, I might not get the chance to do so before we leave."
"Alright, I'll help you."
*
Shawn noticed that Crystal didn't hold his hand in the airport. He wondered why but then got his answer when some fans have spotted them. They took a few pictures, dodging questions.
It was only when they were on the plane that Crystal cuddled Shawn's side and rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and simply ignored the heavy feeling on his chest.
"Crys, we're landing soon." Shawn nudged her awake.
Crystal sat up in her seat as the plane landed. The pair silently went through customs and security. Crystal assumed that Shawn was just tired thats why he's been so silent all along.
"Give me a second to call my mom." Crystal told Shawn who just nodded as she pulled out her phone.
"Hey mom, we're out here and ready to be picked up....Okay see you soon."
Crystal was just about to ask if Shawn was alright but her silver SUV had just pulled up in front of them. The window rolled down to reveal her mom waving with a smile.
Of course, Dad wouldn't come. Crystal thought but shrugged it off.
Crystal popped open the trunk and they loaded their luggages. She opened the middle seat's door for Shawn and she sat in the passenger seat beside her mom.
"Hey guys. How was the flight?" Her mom immediately asked, shooting Shawn a smile in the rearview mirror.
Crystal reached over to give her mom a kiss on the cheek. "It was good. Mom, this is my boyfriend Shawn. Shawn this is my mom." She turned her body so that she can look at Shawn who sat in the middle in the backseat.
Crystal got her grey eyes from her mom. Shawn thought. She still looked beautiful despite her age. Bright grey eyes like Crystal's but her greying hair was blonde unlike Crystal who had light brownish hair, almost a dark blonde. Shawn imagined she looked a lot like Crystal in her younger years.
Shawn spotted the slight surprise when Crystal said 'boyfriend', she probably wasn't used to it.
"Good morning, Ma'am. How are you today?" Shawn smiled at her politely.
"Oh don't be silly call me Catrina." Shawn nodded.
"Im sure its all on the tabloids but Mom is getting a little old for that. How did you two meet?" Catrina asked both of them.
"We met at the Met Ball last year, mom. Remember I told you about that guy that came out to help me?" Crystal looked nostalgic as she talked about the memory.
"That guy would be me." Shawn chuckled.
"Awww, that's so cute. And Shawn remind me what you do?" Catrina responded.
"Im a singer and songwriter."
"He's really good mom. He writes all of his songs. Oh and you might like his version of Under Pressure. Didn't you love Queen back then?"
"Oh yes! I grew up listening to Queen."
"Mom, you should come see his show when he plays for New York. You could bring some of my cousins, they'll love it."
They talked and got to know each other throughout the ride. Shawn felt his mood lighten seeing Crystal with her family.
*
"Your mom is lovely, Crys." Shawn told her when they were unloading their luggages.
Crystal smiled her wide smile. "She likes you."
They lugged their luggages to the front door of a big house.
Once inside, they heard Catrina call out for her husband, announcing that their daughter was home.
"Ah! Well, if it isn't my beautiful girl." A deep voice echoed where they stood, then a man appeared.
He too was handsome for his age. His eyes were a dark brown as well as his hair. There were wrinkles by his eyes when he smiled a bright smile. His shaven beard and mustache were growing back and appeared in a 5 o' clock shadow. He was wearing dress jeans and a button up.
He came up to Crystal with arms wide open.
Crystal smiled at his father as she stepped in his embrace. "Hi, daddy." She enjoyed the moments like this when he wasn't drunk.
"And who is this young man you've brought with you? Taking home boys now, Crys? Im pretty sure you just turned 16. Isn't it a little soon?" He joked but extended a hand for Shawn to shake.
"Dad, that was 4 years ago." Crystal gave his father a look jokingly. "This is Shawn, my boyfriend. Shawn, this is my dad."
"How are you doing, sir?" Shawn said as he firmly shook her father's hand.
"Call me Nik." He shook Shawn's hand with both of his. He looked up and made eye contact with Shawn. "Ah! You'd make beautiful babies with this one, Crystal."
"Dad!" Crystal gasped but blushed tomato red.
Shawn himself couldn't help but laugh.
For their first day in New York, they spent the day staying in. Shawn chatted and got to know Crystal's family over dinner and some movies. Shawn noticed that Nik had pulled out a bottle of whiskey and kept refilling his cup as they he told stories of Crystal's childhood stories. Crystal was too busy having a good time to notice that the brown liquid he has been gulping was actually alcohol. Shawn wondered when was the last time she spent time with her family that she would be too preoccupied with talking with them to notice such a thing.
"Ah! Good times, good times! Look at you now, honey. I swear it was just yesterday you were playing with your brother." Nik said feeling nostalgic. He sipped his cup, not noticing Crystal's change of mood at the mention of her brother.
"Dad, we should all visit him. Tomorrow's his death anniversary."
"Oh is it? I always try to forget that day." It was obviously the alcohol speaking at this point. It was only then that Crystal noticed the half-gone bottle of whiskey he poorly concealed behind the paper towel on the kitchen counter.
Crystal's nose flared with anger but she tried to conceal it. Shawn slung his arm at the back of her chair and rubbed of her shoulders in attempt to calm her down. The tension in the air was so thick now that everybody noticed the change in the mood.
Finally, Mrs. Paige who had probably mastered how to deal with situations like this spoke up to break the tension. "That's a lovely idea. I could arrange for that in the morning, darling." She gave Crystal a smile from across the table - a smile Crystal didn't return- and began gathering the dishes.
"Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Paige. Did you go to culinary school too? It seems like you did." Shawn told Catrina and he helped her clean out the dishes.
Crystal's mom laughed but appreciated the compliment. She headed for the kitchen, dirty dishes in hand. "Oh, Shawn! That's very nice of you to say."
Crystal got up from her seat too, her chair making a loud noise when it scraped against the floor. It seems she wanted her father to notice that she had not appreciated what he just said, though he took no notice as he continued to drink and drunkenly smiled at them. Crystal looked like she was about ready to go off on her father when Shawn stepped in front of her.
"Crystal," he warned. He knew she tended to act of her emotions and sometimes it wouldn't end well when she did. Crystal looked up to glare at him."Why don't you go get ready for bed? I'll help your mom with the dishes. Okay? I got this." Shawn whispered to her.
She didn't respond because she was too busy shooting daggers at her unknowing father. Crystal watched him get up from his seat, grab his bottle of whiskey and head in the patio outside.
"Crystal, calm down."
"I still get PTSD attacks at the mention of my brother who died 10 years ago from tomorrow. And he's right there getting drunk and acting like it wasn't a big deal! Do not tell me to calm down!" Crystal whisper-yelled through gritted teeth. Her hands balled into fists at her sides, her nails digging into her palm. She was so mad that tears glossed her eyes.
Shawn pulled her in for a hug. She kept her hands to her sides as Shawn held her head to his shoulder. "Shhh. I know, Crys, I know. If he can't be the mature one at least you should be, okay? Remember why we're here." He assured her though her hair.
He saw though the glass kitchen door that Catrina had already begun working on the dishes in the kitchen, completely unbeknownst to what is happening at the moment.
He pressed a long kiss on her forehead and whispered a few times that she'll be okay. "I've got to go help your mom with dishes now. Will you be okay?"
Crystal took a deep breath and nodded. She really appreciated him being there at the moment. He pushed her hair out of her face, gave her a final kiss to the forehead and went to help her mom, hoping to distract her. He figured she would be worried that Crystal and Nik would break out into an argument whenever they were in the same room. He knows just from the stories Crystal told him about how she never got a long with her father that he would be worried.
"May I help you with dishes, Mrs. Paige?"
"That would be lovely, Shawn!" She beamed appreciating his politeness.
Shawn rolled up the sleeves of his button up and began loading the dishwasher. Catrina praised his manners that he showed ever since when they met this morning and they got into talking about Shawn's family and how he was raised to so polite.
Meanwhile, back in the dining room, Crystal was still fuming with anger. She glanced sideways to see her mom laughing at something Shawn had said as they worked on the dishes. She was ready to let it go because he didn't want Shawn to witness an argument between her and her father. But, she also knew that there was big possibility that her father acted like this for the past 10 years without Charlie and he would keep doing so until someone called him out on it. After double checking that Shawn wasn't watching her, she marched over to the outdoor patio where her father sat drinking.
"Hello! Would my favorite daughter like to join me?" Her dad looked up when she appeared in front of him. He used his own glass to pour some alcohol in it and pushed it across the metal table closer to Crystal.
Crystal didn't even look at it.
"Look at you, dad." She began. Nik childishly looked down at his clothes and examined himself trying to see something not right. "Charlie didn't die so you could become an alcoholic, dad. I've been avoiding being with you because I don't want to argue with you." That somehow cause his attention and he locked eyes with Crystal.
Maybe it was the tiredness or the stress that caused her to finally be real with her father.
"Do you still not realize that everything I'm doing is so you can be proud of me? Like really be proud of me." She inhaled back the tears. "I-I know Charlie was a great son. He was a great brother. And believe me when I say that I am still heartbroken and confused even though he died 10 years ago. I walk around with half a heart because he's gone!
"You had mom when I had neither of you because I was too busy working, hoping to distract myself with work and you with all the things I give you. 10 years later, I still don't have you."
Little tears dripped from her face now and there was a lump in her throat.
"You've had plenty of chances to at least be there for me; I lost him too, you know? Yes, you lost a son but you also had a daughter that you needed to raise.
And Shawn... Shawn's been in my life for 3 month and he's done way more in coping with this— do you even know I have PTSD from losing my brother?"
Nik stared at her, no reply. His mind was swimming as he tried to distinguish the reality through his drunken eyes.
"What kind of father are you?" She muttered under her breath as she held her head in her hand and looked down on the teardrops on the floor.
She took another deep breath because she was determined to finish this. "Would you just-would you just please... please realize that you're not only hurting yourself by doing this." And then she went up to her room without looking back, not even acknowledging Shawn when she saw him look at her tear-strained face from the kitchen.
As she laid in bed, her eyes were closed but she wasn't asleep. The multitude of emotions she was feeling at the moment didn't allow her to sleep.
The door to her old bedroom opened and closed. She heard shuffling around in the dark room and the person enter and exit the bathroom before the mattress beside her dipped. She lay on her side and Shawn laid to face her. He pulled the covers higher over her and brushed her hair. He knew she was awake.
Shawn stroked her hair and hummed because he knew that would help her fall asleep. Her breathing was just slowing down, about to fall asleep when a loud crash sounded downstairs.
It was a crash of plates hitting the floor. Immediately, they knew what was going on when they heard Nik begin yelling. He was swearing loudly and there were a few more crashes that followed.
Crystal's eyes remained closed but now she was pinching them shut and tears were escaping them too. She whimpered and reached up to cover her ears in hopes to drown out the noise.
Shawn pulled her to his chest and put his hands gently over hers that were still covering her ears. "Shhh...It's alright. I got you. Shhh.."
He held Crystal tightly and tried to sing Homesick over the loud noise from downstairs.