A few hours later, Rey slowly trailed behind Kylo as they both made their way to town, roughly three miles away from their hut.
After today's training session, it was a quiet day for the pair, each of them silently thinking about the events of their day, mainly the change in the force they both felt.
Earlier, when they arrived back at the hut, MOX proceeded to stitch up the wound on Rey's back as she remembered the trail of thoughts that led to the change... and her revelation of her feelings for Kylo.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized that nothing changed as far as either of them switching sides. In fact, at the end of the day, she knew for certain that she'd never be able to go to the First Order with him, not willingly. No matter how she felt, she knew it was wrong.
And now, with every step she took behind Kylo, her mind begged her to plead with him, to rush his own mind and instead beg him directly to return to the Resistance with her...
But she knew it wasn't right.
Just as her mentors had told her, if he was destined to go home with her, it needs to be his choice.
Sighing, Rey picked up her pace to join him at his side, their cloaks flowing in the wind behind them as the stars above illuminated their path on the dirt trail.
"Put your hood up. No chances." he muttered to her.
By the tone of his voice, she knew his mind was heavy as well, and in fact, it was.
The closer he was to Rey, the more difficult it was to remember what his mission was, what his end result was supposed to be. At the end of the day, he still didn't even know for certain what it was.
There was no way he could go to the Resistance...
Deep down, he still harbored a deep hatred for many of them, and in the galaxy, there were rules that needed to be followed, an order that needed to maintained.
He could be that man to bring forth the new order... To control it, and Rey at his side, to help shape it.
Glancing at her from the corner of his eye, he was reminded that she was more than that...
She herself was the awakening in the force...
And the awakening in himself.
In all his years, amongst every star out there, she was different... And she treated him as an equal...
Something even he knew he was unworthy of, after all he had done in his lifetime.
Kylo Ren never pictured himself ever saying such a thing, let alone thinking it... Though instead of dwelling on it, he took it as proof of the change she was invoking, refusing to believe there was any trace of light within him, it was only Rey...
Just Rey...
That's all his life was now.
And that was something he was okay with.
( X )
Approaching the town now, the cloaked and hooded pair stopped to speak right outside of the town line, the roads lit up by strings of light, laughter and music filling their ears.
Rey eyed what she could see, studying the strip of stores just a few yards away.
The town itself was simple, she could tell immediately that the people and creatures were what made it home. It seemed warm, the residents seemed welcoming, a complete opposite of Cinnon'Ra.
A few tables were set up along the road, a couple creatures flocking to them to eye the goods the owners sold.
Rey couldn't help the small smile that played across her lips as she watched their transactions.
"Remember, keep your hood on. Do not draw your saber unless I do. The people here are decent, I've never encountered a problem. But it's been some time since I've been here. Be alert." He warned, peering down and watching her face to ensure she understood.
Rey nodded, taking the moment to search his face for any real sign of worry. She was satisfied when she found none, and tried not to think about how her heart skipped a beat as her eyes landed on the scar across his cheek, warmth already covering the depth of her belly with a sudden need...
It only grew when her eyes fell to the subtle facial hair he was growing having not had a razor to keep his face shaved.
His jaw tensed under gaze, the instant need filling the air between them. When Rey abruptly turned her back towards him and began walking again, his eyes quickly narrowed at her, unsure if the sudden desire in the air was from him or her.
Inhaling sharply, he followed her, easily catching up to her in only two short strides.
Glancing around, he didn't feel any detection of a threat, and used this time to excuse himself as they strode along the shops, the short, green owners all nodding a quick and warm greeting to them.
Rey began to slow once they approached the vendor tables, admiring the jewels and goods they offered.
Coming to a stop, Rey reached out to softly touch one of the pins that lay cushioned in a box.
It was a pin he had seen many times growing up, the pin of the Monarch. He never thought he'd see another...
Kylo tried to push past the thought of it being a sign, or even mere coincidence, and instead spoke so that only she could hear.
"Stay nearby. I'm going to the pharmacy, I should only be inside for two minutes, not any longer." he muttered, his breath tickling her ear.
Rey looked up to him, meeting his eyes. She nodded.
Reaching into the pocket of his cloak, he retrieved a coin bag filled with currency, taking what he needed before giving the pouch to Rey.
"Buy whatever you'd like." Kylo said.
With wide eyes, Rey gaped at the contents of the bag, not having seen such a large sum of money in her life.
"Ben, I can't..." she whispered, trying to give him the bag back.
"I have plenty more, I insist." he said before turning on his heel and heading inside.
Glancing around, Rey quickly shoved the bag into her cloak pocket before turning to admire the pin once more. It was some sort of insect, she knew that much. But this one, seemed so elegant, the jeweled bug crested in middle of blue and gold crystals and diamonds.
It seemed so powerful, royal in its simple nature.
Rey smiled, her finger skimming it once more.
A soft chuckle escaped the mouth of the vendor, a small, stocky and green creature that was watching Rey. As Rey looked up to meet their eyes, he smiled and nodded, his brows raising in hopes of her approval for the jewel.
Rey smiled back before readjusting her hood to cover her cheeks, glancing back down to the pin before she made her way down the isle of shops.
Each vendor and resident she passed eyed her, although they were more curious than anything. Through the force, she did not pick up any ill feeling from any of them, in fact, she felt very welcomed.
To her right, Rey spotted a group of children playing with a flat ball, obviously damaged from so much play. She admired how it didn't affect their fun, their grins on full display as they tossed their entertainment around.
Rey chuckled, watching as an older woman stepped out from the door of the home the children were playing in front of.
In a foreign language, the woman called to each of them, the kids dropping the flattened ball and running to her, eager to embrace her with their little arms. The smile that spread across the woman's face was warming and contagious as Rey's own smile widened.
The woman patted the back of each child as they ran into the home, eager for the meal that was waiting for them. Hearing the old woman chuckle, Rey continued to watch as the elder moved to stretch her back, throwing a dirty towel over her shoulder and peering up at the stars before she herself went back inside, the mangled and rotting door barely closing.
With her smile fading, Rey slowly made her way to the door, stopping to pick up the dirty ball.
Digging out the coin bag, Rey placed it in the corner of the door before placing the ball over it to conceal the pouch, then turning on her heel to join Kylo, who had been watching her from across the street.
Freezing for the quickest moment, Rey caught his curious and bored gaze, blushing under his study as she joined his side.
"You don't know them. You owe them nothing..." Kylo muttered, confused.
"I don't need that amount of money...They could put it to good use." Rey softly answered, glancing to the ground.
She couldn't help the small twinge of jealousy that hit her inside, the wish for a childhood that these children were experiencing...
The love, the freedom, the lack of worry. He supposed he could understand...
Clearing her throat, she met his eyes once more.
He felt the same jealousy course throughout him, unsure if it was him or Rey causing it...
Inhaling, he stood tall, banishing the all too human feeling away as he eyed Rey.
"Would you like to have dinner here?" he asked, watching her face.
She seemed surprised at the question. "Dinner? Here?" she asked, repeating his offer.
Kylo gave a single, long nod, almost unsure himself.
Before he could take it back, Rey quickly nodded. "Yes," she cleared her throat once more. "Yes, please. I'd like that."
She felt a quick wave of relief fill the air between them, and Rey knew for certain it did not come from her. Hiding her smile, Rey cast her eyes down, moving to begin the slow walk to a nearby restaurant that Kylo led them to, a fluttering sensation crossing her abdomen.
( X )
"Am I allowed to take my hood off?" Rey asked after they were seated and their drink orders were taken.
Kylo shot her an amused look, hesitating to feel the energy around them before he nodded, removing his own. She did the same, her dark hair tumbling around her shoulders.
For a few minutes, very long, dreadful minutes, they remained silent as they grew comfortable in the dim restaurant. It was cozy, and warm. The colors were dark and the ruby red draping only added to the romantic setting as lit candles sat at every other table, joined by soft, gentle whispers of the guests sitting there.
It was a beautiful place, Rey decided. A place she'd like to visit often.
"You like it here?" he asked, studying her face with such intensity that made her shift in her seat.
"Yes... very much." Rey answered.
The candle light flickered, shimmering off of his stern, handsome features.
His gaze trapped her where she was, the dark, possessive look absorbing her where she sat.
Blushing, she used all the strength she could muster up to shift her gaze away, moving her elbows on to the table as she leaned forward, her eyes meeting his once more.
Her own eyes froze him, stilling the atmosphere around them along with the people there. He sensed the primal side approaching from within her, catching him off guard. He wondered for a moment, if she felt the same about him as he did her...
"We used to have an agreement... about asking questions. Can we pick that up again?" Rey asked.
Kylo eyed her curiously, his brow twitching with amusement. "Yes, and that counts. Why do you like it here?"
He watched as her jaw tensed with annoyance, and his own lip moved to show the ghost of a smile.
"It's... Simple. It's as if no other place exists to them... There's no war here, there's no worries. Everyone seems to get along." She blinked a few times, searching for her next question. "Is this where you grew up?"
He sighed, craning his head to the side as he watched her. "No. Snoke sent me here for training."
Rey leaned in closer, her tone dropping as she glared at him. "There's more."
Kylo nodded slowly. "The word 'training' is putting it lightly." He said, the answer hung between them across the table, and for Rey, she did not particularly want to ruin his mood, so she did not press any further. "Did you feel it?"
Rey's brows furrowed, waiting for him to continue as she glanced to the ground.
Kylo leaned forward, matching her position with his elbows on the table. In any other setting, he wouldn't usually sit like this... However, the topic of which they were discussing called for discretion.
"The awakening." he muttered.
Rey's eyes flew back to his, searching his face for any sign of his own experience with it.
"I... Yes. I felt it." Rey answered, eyeing him still as she sat back against her chair. "I suppose it's safe to say you felt it. What was...what was your experience when it happened?" she timidly asked.
His expression never faltered, a master as concealment and Rey cursed him for it.
However, to her satisfaction, he did not hesitate with his honesty, a trait she had no other choice but to admire when it came to him.
"Acceptance. Grey. Control? It was subtle...But stern...And you?" he demanded.
Remembering the exact way she felt, she nodded. "The same. It was so vivid, and subtle. It was different than the others, it felt almost-"
"Natural." Kylo finished.
They stared at one another, both of them sitting with their own thoughts, still in awe at how connected they were to the other.
They remained silent for through their meal, a soft tune playing in the background as a few couples left their seats to share a slow dance.
With curious eyes, Rey watched them all, the memory of her dancing with Poe at Finn and Rose's wedding stroked her mind. But as she watched the couples slow dance now, she realized it was different than what she had experienced with him.
This was a soft and caring movement compared to the seductive one she had dealt with. Though she was unsure, she wondered if the atmosphere added to the subtleness, making it appear softer in her view.
"Your little dance with the pilot was nothing compared to this." Kylo intruded, waving off the waitress that was heading back with his change.
Rey's head whipped to him, already prepared to snap at him for peering into her mind, even for the quickest second.
As she opened her mouth to curse him, she quickly froze as he stood from his chair, his jaw clenching with tension as he readjusted his tunic, standing straight.
Rey felt his anxiety brush past her, as if he unintentionally let it slip by and was now reaching to gather it together before she could see.
With a slow exhale, he looked down at her, offering his hand.
For a moment, Rey was utterly confused on what to do, unsure if he was meaning for her to take it...or...
Glancing back to the odd couples slowly moving together, she realized.
At her hesitation, his hand moved to close, making Rey's hand swiftly reach up to meet his.
Again, a wave of nervousness hung loosely in the air, and again, both Rey and Kylo were unsure who it was coming from.
Gently, he led her to the area where a few couples were dancing closely, the soft tune continuing to fill their ears as Kylo tried his best to remember the lessons he was forced to take as a child.
His heavy palm lay at the small of her back, his other hand softly clasping hers as he led the way.
Rey tried her best to conceal her blush, almost wishing that she could have the same drink she had the night of the wedding just to calm her nerves.
Kylo took note of the pink crossing her cheeks as she looked beyond him.
Leaning down just slightly, he muttered, "It's your turn."
A small smile tugged at her lips as she moved to look up at him, meeting his eyes. "I never thought you'd know how to dance... You're quite good at this... Where did you learn?"
"It was required of every member in a royal family. I was forced to take lessons when I was a boy."
Rey blinked a few times before answering. "I forget that about you. That you -"
"Had a life before the dark side?" he finished, darkness itself creeping into his eyes.
Rey shook her head. "No... Well, I suppose. But it isn't all that's there now."
His brow raised. "It isn't? And what else is there?" he asked, his eyes tugging away from hers to admire the wisps of her hair.
"The caring side... The side that no one else sees, though I wish they did."
Kylo scoffed. "Caring. How juvenile."
Rey narrowed her eyes up at him as they continued their slow dancing. "It's true. If you didn't care, you wouldn't have saved me the times that you did, you wouldn't have taken care of Kai, and you wouldn't be training me now."
The statement made him grow silent, unsure of what to say since the evidence refused to let him deny it.
"And how are you so sure that it isn't part of my plan?" he teased. The look he gave her made her almost smile.
"You have no plan, unfortunately. If you did, I'd know it. We're too connected. I suppose there isn't hiding anything from one another now."
He swallowed hard, silent for a moment again.
"I suppose not." he replied.
"Do you like it? The... connection?" Rey asked, genuinely curious for her own sake. Her mind needed confirmation that she was not the only one who felt a sense of comfort with their bond.
"It's... I haven't experienced anything like it." He admitted.
Her hand left his to rest on his other shoulder, and his other hand went to rest on her waist. Their closeness made her body warm, and his own began to tingle.
"Me neither. But... Ben. Why is it so hard for you?" she asked, a small shake of her head. "Why is it so hard for you to choose...Am I...-" Rey trailed off.
Her eyes glanced away from him, and he felt a heartbroken energy fill her for a brief moment.
'Am I not enough?'
The question was spoken to herself, but through their connection, it was loud enough for him to hear.
A hot, stabbing pain pierced his stomach, an eager sadness that he had once felt himself when he was just a boy being shipped off away from the only family he had ever known.
It was a sense of rejection, a lonesome road that he never cared to travel down again...
There was no way of denying that he did not want the same feeling to overcome Rey, and with her spoken words, he refused to let it be hard for him to answer...
"Rey... It's not that...It's never that." His heart began to beat heavily in his ears. "I was born into this darkness, it was the only thing I had ever known...The only thing that came naturally to me. You were abandoned on Jakku, surviving was the only thing you knew. Do you remember how hard it was? To accept a life outside of the heat, outside of the survival?"
Kylo gulped as Rey turned her wide eyes back to him. "The fact that there is even a choice to be made, when all I believed there to be was darkness..." he trailed off, sensing the end of the song approaching. "Rey, you are a light in the galaxy that no star nor moon could match..."
Rey's eyes were intent on his, her heart clenching with such tenderness and bewilderment, the same feeling coursing through her as it did in the forest earlier that day.
The words were on the tip of her tongue...
She knew she meant every single one of them...
Before she could speak, the end of the song played out, and Kylo gently tipped her back, dipping her slowly and gently as he pressed a small, soft kiss to the skin exposed beneath her cloak at her throat.
The few couples that were dancing with them had already stopped, clapping at the beautiful time they shared, already heading back to their seats by the time Kylo gently pulled Rey back up, her chest pressed against his as their hooded gazes met.
Her breathing heavy, Rey blinked, wondering if he'd kiss her.
For a moment, he stared at her, his head bent to her as if it were the first time...
And instead, he reached into the pocket of his own cloak, pulling out a small gift, his movements painfully slow as if testing the energy to see if now were the best time...
Glancing away from her, Rey noticed a pink streak redden on his cheeks as he held his palm out to her, opening to reveal the monarch pin she had been admiring.
Rey's heart stopped.
"Rey..." he gulped again, his jaw tensing with stubborn inability as he struggled to speak. "If you are able to believe that an unworthy monster is capable of caring, then you are strong enough to see you are more than enough for any one, and anything."
Gently, he placed the pin in her hand before walking past her to gather their belongings, heading out and starting the journey back to the hut, leaving Rey alone in the restaurant, looking down at the pin with tears in her eyes.
( X )
The walk back was silent, the cold air surrounding them as the stars accompanied the pair. The pin he gifted Rey was proudly displayed on her cloak, the crystals catching her attention when she moved a certain way under the shining stars.
Every time she caught sight of it, she couldn't help the loving smile that followed.
The town of Arrowmada would stick with her forever, and this night, would stick with her even longer.
Approaching the hut, Rey watched as Kylo disappeared inside, knowing it took a lot from him to admit what he did tonight. Either way, she was grateful, and surprised.
She only wondered if he knew what it meant to her, if he knew the spark of hope he ignited in her once more.
Sighing, she entered the hut, walking to the kitchenette.
From the window, she peered out at the ship that sat out there, the one Kylo had taken from Cinnon'Ra. It had been a while now since her last contact with her friends in the Resistance, and she knew she had to check on them.
Glancing down at the pin, she decided tomorrow would be a better time as she grabbed for a glass of water when MOX entered in behind her, wobbling to the counter.
"Oh! Well, welcome back, lady Rey! Refreshments have been stocked, would you like me to whip up a meal for you or Master Ren?" he asked.
Rey smiled, turning to the droid. "No thank you, MOX. We already at-"
His mechanical arm shot up to his mouth. "Oh, my! Congratulations, madam! The Pin of the Monarch! How exciting!" he exclaimed.
Rey's smile slowly drifted away into a confused chuckle. "What? The Pin of the Monarch? Ben surprised me with it just a little while ago..."
"Oh! Well, yes! The Pin of the Monarch! It um-" MOX gave an excited and anxious wobble. "Well, in the royalty line, the Pin of the Monarch is gifted from the King to his beloved...An expression of love, and admiration!"
Rey's eyes fell to the ground, her heart beginning to pump hard again.
For a moment, her mind tried to convince her that MOX had no idea what he was speaking of...
But looking around, her eyes flew across the room from book to book, to MOX, and back to the pin that lay on her chest.
MOX knew this place, in fact, MOX was built by Ben himself, and she was sure he would not make a droid that would slip up with a mistake like this...
Her eyes stung once more at the realization, cursing herself for not seeing it sooner...
This was his way of saying it... the words she wanted to hear, the words that she didn't quite know herself.
MOX began talking to her again, though her mind was too busy to pay any attention to him.
"... And what do you know, berry milk!" the droid nervously rambled on.
Her skin hot, her belly tingling, her eyes stinging and her heart racing, Rey brushed past him.
( X )
He sighed.
What a long night.
He had no intention of the events leading them back home... But he couldn't deny that he didn't enjoy it. He was... the feeling he had about Rey... it was...
Sighing again, he ran a hand down his face before gripping his chin for a second.
Rey was drowning him, and he refused to fight it.
A swift knock at the bedroom door caught his attention from the dresser where he was standing at, draping his cloak over it.
Walking to the door, he opened it to see Rey's back towards him before she turned, her eyes wide, her chest rising with each heavy, nervous breath.
They stared at one another for a long moment, her hand cupping the Pin of the Monarch he had given her. Kylo doubted she knew the true meaning of it though he knew, and that was something he was fine with, in fact, he almost felt better with being the only one knowing.
However, the look she was giving him now made him question it, even for the quickest second before she stepped closer.
"Ben..." she licked at her lips, trying to say what she needed to.
He could sense it... He could sense what she was wanting to say...
His own heart froze, his mind tripping over itself. No...
No, it wasn't possible...
Yet, here she was...
Wordlessly, they stepped closer to one another, their eyes on one another as they each tested the boundaries.
With glossy eyes, she peered up at him as his hand flew to the base of her neck, softly touching the skin there. Her own hand reached up, brushing a lock of his hair behind his ear as their gaze softened, and together they leaned in closer, and closer yet, until their lips met and any hesitation they felt left their being as they melted together.
His arm gently snaked around her waist, pulling her in closer until there wasn't any space left between them, until his breath became hers, and hers became his. Their mouths clashed, a soft and eager dance created by the desire that built between them, their tongues tasting one another again until the only taste they knew was their bonded.
Rey's arms wrapped around Kylo's neck, her hand burrowing in his dark, wavy hair as his own hand did the same in hers, intertwining her locks around his gloveless fingers as their lips tore the other apart gently, exposing a side the other had yet to experience.
With a shaky, yet eager hand, Rey reached up to unclasp her cloak, letting it pool around her feet.
Kylo's eyes opened, slowly pulling his lips from hers, swallowing hard as he watched her. Rey looked up at him, her hooded gaze matching his as she reached for the belt around her waist, unclasping that, too.
Softly, his thumb skimmed over her collarbone, brushing back and forth, his eyes drifting down to watch the movement as his jaw nervously tensed.
"Rey..." he whispered, blinking to clear his mind, to clear his dizziness, to clear himself of Rey, because that's all he could see, all her could hear and taste and smell... Nothing but Rey...
"Ben... I... I lo-" Rey whispered, her own voice breaking as she began to say it out loud.
"I know... I know..." he trailed off as his mouth crashed back to hers.
His own breath was shaky, his heart racing in step with hers, their bond singing and freezing everything around them the closer they got, the grey light blinding the force around them as their blood heated, and their desire built.
His mouth moved from her lips to her cheek, to her jaw as he planted light, hot kisses along the line and down to her neck. Rey's breathing grew heavier if at all possible, her eyes shut as she tried her best not to shiver at the delightful way his soft, warm lips tickled her skin.
"Ben..." she called as his hand gently tugged the strap of her tunic down, exposing her bare shoulder. His mouth moved to kiss her there, his tongue darting out to savior her delicious taste.
"Ben... I've..." she breathlessly muttered as she shuddered at his touch. Slowly, Kylo moved back up to her mouth, his lips capturing hers once more in a sweet, passionate kiss. His teeth skimmed over her lip as her hand traveled to the back of her neck, his large palm cradling her head when his soft gaze opened to meet hers, their lips momentarily leaving each other's.
"Ben... I've never... been... with a man..." she quietly admitted, her cheeks flushed as she timidly glanced down, and back to his eyes.
Kylo's own gaze softened, leaning his forehead against hers.
"We don't need to, Rey. There isn't anything-"
Slowly, Rey brought her lips up to his, quieting whatever he was going to say. Rey knew what she wanted, and she knew what he wanted... She could feel it. She could feel it so vividly, alive in the both of them, humming in tune with their bond.
"I want to. Ben, I want you. Just you."
Kylo studied her, ensuring this was true, that she wanted this just as much as he. And with that, their lips met again, and her soft, eager hands tugged and pulled at his own tunic, unable to hide her smile as he showed her mercy and took it off himself, his bare chest gleaming in the soft glow of the dim lamp in the corner of the room.
Slowly, timidly, their clothes began to strip away – the clothing of the darkness that is Kylo Ren, and the clothing of the light that is Rey of Jakku – and leaving just Rey and Ben, two stars in their own galaxy.
( x )
Author's Notes: Ohhhhh mmyyyy gooossshh! Lol. A very long chapter!! Hope you all enjoyed, and would realllly appreciate the feedback. ALSO, I would like to know your thoughts on posting a yummy mature rated chapter for the events following this entry? Let me know. Of course I will put a disclaimer before the chapter so no worries if that isn't your cup of tea.
Anyway, thank you all for reading! I really liked this, and hope you did to!