—First life. _____'s flat, year 2016—
The coffee date we had that morning became the first of many.
And we certainly did not just stop at coffees. We met almost every day. He had taken me out to see some movies and sometimes for dinners on the weekends. We hung out after classes at the basketball court whenever he had games with his brothers from the frat house. There were also times when we would just hang out at his house so I could watch him play video games or listen to him leisurely strumming his guitar. And for the last few weeks, he had been hanging out in my flat, either with his books so he could study next to me, or with popcorns and beer so we could watch Netflix while lounging together on the couch.
"Hey, your boyfriend is here." Yura popped into my room while I was studying. It was the fourth Friday night after I had first met Jungkook, and even though he had been coming regularly afterwards, I most certainly had not been expecting him to show up.
"My— what?" We shared awkward glances for a second. My head was literally buried between my books and my papers when she came in, so it took me a while to process what she had just told me. "Oh. Oh! No, he's not my—"
"Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that," she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she had always done whenever I denied it. "I already let him in. You kids better make sure not to get too nasty while I'm out, okay?" She threw me a wink before she walked out, and I could hear her saying the same thing to Jungkook as she walked past him on her way out of the flat.
He was standing in the middle of the living room when I left my bedroom, looking awkwardly handsome between the common mess in our flat. He was staring at a movie poster I had put up on the wall with his head tilted sideways.
"What are you doing here?" I said, leaning on my doorway as I kept my eyes on him.
He turned around and grinned at me the moment he saw me. "Is there something wrong with me being here?"
I shrugged and walked closer. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me? Aren't you supposed to be at the house, hosting the party with your brothers?"
He looked down on his watch. "It's 7.30 pm. I'm always here to sit with you at this exact moment, at this specific time every night to study with you. And judging from that short pyjama pants I know you won't be there at the party when it starts later, which means I may have nothing interesting to be expecting to see at that party."
I smiled at him. "I already told you this morning that I'm not going."
"The more reason to stay then," he said, flopping down on the couch, right next to his backpack that somehow had already claimed its spot.
I shook my head. "I don't get you."
"What don't you get?"
I walked over to stand between his spread legs. "You. Being here. I thought you'd be more excited about partying than being stuck here and study with me."
"Studying with you is fun," he gave me a sly grin. If only he knew how much I had to struggle to keep myself from losing my breath whenever he did that.
"Fun? You hate studying," I said with a chuckle, which he returned with a laugh. "Jungkook, we are studying in two completely different majors, and for the last three weeks, all you ever really do is watch me work. Well—that, among other things."
"Is it wrong that I like watching you study?" He straightened his body and leaned forward, grazing my thighs with the tip of his fingers. "Come on, I even bought you fresh coffee and your favourite panini. All fresh and still steaming hot, just how you like them."
I looked over at the coffee table and found the package he bought for me. He always knew how to win me over. "Fine. You'll probably get bored to death pretty soon anyway and I refuse to be the one to blame when you do."
"I promise you I won't," he said, showing me his sly grin once again.
I only released a sigh. It was not that I never wanted him to be there with me. I was always happy whenever he would come over and keep me company. But it was that happiness that worried me. "I don't know if you are just weird or highly persistent."
"I'd like to think I'm into the second," he chuckled. "Come on, sit next to me and eat first before it gets cold. You can study while I read something or play games." He pouted his lips, adding irresistible puppy eyes as he begged, "Please?"
How could I not give in?
"Fine," I said as I quickly made my way back to my room for my laptop. "Don't say that I didn't give you a chance to bail."
Both of us were still on the couch one hour later, with my laptop long forgotten somewhere close by, my papers and his books were scattered around on the table and the floor, while I was straddling his lap, my body pressing on his chest and our lips colliding in a long, heated kiss.
"How do we always end up here?" I asked him as I pulled away, only to have his strong hands pulling me back to him.
"What do you mean?" he growled as he bit down my lip. "Are you talking about how you are on top of me and grinding on my hips right now?"
"I'm not even moving—" I could barely answer him, losing my breath almost completely from the heat that was surging through my body.
"That's not what I'm feeling right now, babe—" he stopped to take my lips and devoured them with hunger. "And it's your fault this time. You started it."
I pushed his shoulders until he fell back on the couch. "Me? Why am I to blame? It's your fault you made a mess of yourself. Who told you it's okay to get that panini sauce on your lips?
"You didn't have to lick it," he growled in a deep voice, and I could feel his chest vibrating as he spoke, only to cause every part of my body to do just the same. Without giving him a chance to react, I leaned closer and lick the corner of his lips once more, the same way I did before any of this ever started.
"God, you are so bad." I could feel his hands gripping harder on my waist, as if he was holding himself from pressing me harder onto him. His lips hovered on mine, sending warm breath over my skin. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"
I bit my lip before I lowered myself and kissed him back. He let me in, opening his lips so I could slip in my tongue between his teeth, yet I pulled away before he could do the same. We stopped for a moment, letting our foreheads resting on each other, allowing us to share deep glances with one another.
"Why did you deny it?" He whispered.
"Deny what?"
"When Yura named me as your boyfriend. I heard you earlier."
I bit my lip and avoided his gaze. "I don't know," I hesitantly answered. "Maybe I just did it because I'm not sure what we really are."
"Are you saying that the few dates we've been going to and the times we've spent together don't tell you enough?"
I tilted my head playfully as I mocked him, "So those were dates? I thought we were just 'hanging out'."
His growl rumbled from his chest. The way his lips pouted as he was sulking was too adorable, and I could not stop myself from teasing him by feigning innocence. I also needed him to speak his mind and let me know how he truly felt for me. For us. "Yes, they were dates. And we always end up making out every time we meet. Do you really think I'd do that with just anyone?"
As much as I wanted to tease him, the thought of him kissing another was making my heart ache. "I don't know. Do you?"
He lifted my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look into his eyes. "I don't do such a thing, okay? It's only been you." He stopped to give a light peck on the tip of my nose. "Why are you doubting me?"
I shrugged and looked away as guilt came over me. It was not that I was really doubting him. It was more that I was doubting myself. And I was also afraid of getting hurt or disappointed if I have ever let myself wanting more.
"I don't know. I just—I've seen the kind of girls that hang out with your crowd, and I'm nothing like them, so—"
My words were cut off abruptly when he suddenly pulled me into his chest and kissed my lips. "Don't say that. I wouldn't be here if I don't want to be with you." Jungkook fell silent for a moment and waited for me to answer. My heart was beating so fast. Listening to him saying those words and feeling his fingers making circular movements on my waist certainly were not helping me to calm down. "Don't you want to be with me?"
"That's not what I am saying."
I looked deep into his eyes and saw the look that nearly swept my feet away the first night we met, the sincerity and his raw emotion was emitting through his deep gaze. Right at that moment, all the words I had in my mind disappeared. Because I am afraid of you, was the thought that kept coming into my thoughts, yet I could never voice them out. Because I'm afraid to get hurt.
Too bad. It seemed that my mind could no longer process any logic now. Not when my heart knew what it wanted.
"I want you, Jungkook," was all that I could say to him.
He gave me a small smile, brushing his lips on mine when he whispered, "Then let me in. Let me show you that I mean everything I said. I want to be with you."
I didn't say anything then, already knowing that words would only be a waste of time and I certainly was not an expert on expressing my feelings through phrases. So all I did was lowered myself and kissed his lips. He faltered for a moment, surprised by my action. But he was quick to respond, pulling me down on his hips with his strong arms until I could feel his bulge pressing beneath me. My heartbeat kept racing in my chest, making me believe that I would combust anytime if possible. Although the moment our chests were pressed together, it came to my knowledge that I was not the only one feeling this way.
Soon all I could feel was his strong kiss, his tongue that was dominating mine, and the sensation I got from how close we were. I was so lost in the heated kiss, that I didn't notice how his hand that was holding me on my back started moving downward, reaching down through the waistband of my pyjama shorts and expertly slipped inside, moving past my panties, until I could feel his palm pressing down on my skin and reaching lower—and lower.
He moved my body with his other hand and pushed his hips upward so that I fell further forward and my ass lifted from him. Just enough so that his hand inside my pants could find its way to reach my center. My body reacted even before my mind could process it, widening my legs and jutted my ass back, giving him space so that his fingers could reach my hot folds.
"Ah—" I instantly moaned as I felt his fingers pressing hard on my entrance, making me pull myself away from him while panting for air. My mouth was opened but no words came out. The sound of my constant moans was the only thing came out of me when Jungkook kept circling his fingers to draw my arousal. The sensation was overwhelming, and I was shivering above him when I could feel his fingers slowly entering me.
"What time will Yura come back?" he whispered to me as he was slowly moving the tip of his fingers in and out of me—just as much as he could reach in from that angle.
"She—she won't be back tonight," I managed to speak between my short breaths. "She's at your party, so I don't think she'll be back until—ah—tomorrow morning. Or day. Depending who she's meeting there tonight."
He bit his bottom lip before nipping on mine. "Do you want to take this to the bed?" he whispered. I opened my eyes to look at him and my knees instantly weakened when I was met with his darkened gaze. His desire was clear, written all over his face and shown by how he shuddered the same way I did at our touches.
We have been making out for weeks. I had even let him touched me and teased me until he made me cum as I did the same to him, so many times before. But we never went too far. I was never sure that I would be ready, not when everything between us remained unclear. I knew that I would not be able to stop myself tonight, and neither would he.
"Yes, take me to my bed, Jungkook."
With my permission, he pulled his hand out of my pants, causing me to whimper at the sudden loss of his touch. But then, he pulled my legs to wrap them around his waist, and started to push himself up from the couch with me clinging on him. I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold on as he walked towards my bedroom, carrying my body with him. His strong hands that were holding me up on my bottom felt so hot that it nearly burned me.
He lied me down on the bed ever so gently, before he climbed up and hovered on top of me. He looked into my eyes, taking a moment before he spoke, "You should know that once I have you as mine, I will never let you go."
His words made me shuddered. I could not even tell whether it was pride or fear, but I was overwhelmed with his desire, and with the fact that he was actually feeling the same way as I did. So I just lied there in silence, nodding my head and waited until he made his move.
"Tell me to stop if you're not ready," he whispered while nuzzling the tip of his nose onto mine. "I won't force you. I want you so badly, it's killing me. But I really don't want you to hate me."
I reached up to cup his cheek with one hand, and let my other hand resting on his shoulder. "I'm okay. I'll be okay. As long as I'm with you."
His gaze suddenly darkened. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, Jungkook. I'm sure."
He released a deep grunt right before he lowered himself and kissed me feverishly. My senses were filled with his presence and my mind went blank as we clumsily took off every article of clothing from our bodies. Never stopping until we were left bare against each other on that bed, until our bare skins touched and flushed heat onto each other. He took a sight of me beneath him, naked and bare only for his eyes to see, and I shivered from his dark gaze that I just had to look away. I was excited, nervous and turned on all at the same time, and I was too embarrassed to let him see me in such a state.
"______," he whispered to me while pulling my face back to look at him with his fingers on my chin. "Don't be scared. I won't hurt you."
I gave him a nod and he took a moment to take a sight of my face, and then my body, before leaning down and started leaving kisses on my neck. My eyes were shut tight as he made his way down, kissing lower, trailing down to my collarbones, leaving heat behind where his lips touched. He lifted his gaze up, watching my face as he started biting around my breasts. My chest rises and fell as I heaved for air, and he held me down just so I wouldn't move away as he kept kissing down until I could feel his lips grazing around my hips.
"J—Jungkook, don't—" I snapped open my eyes to look at him, my words failed to come out as I saw his gaze, just when I was about to stop him from getting any lower. He only looked up to give me a soft smile.
"It's okay," he assured me with his palms stroking on my bare skin. "I'm only helping you to relax and feel good before we continue. I need to make sure this won't hurt. You trust me, don't you? It's okay if you want to stop."
I tried to process everything and failed. He waited for my answer while pressing featherlight kisses around my lower abdomen with his eyes still locked on mine. His gaze was dark with lust and soft with affection. Everything that had my heartbeat racing and my mind completely clouded.
I wanted him. So badly.
"No—I want this. I want you."
He gave me a soft smile once he heard my assuring words. "Take a deep breath, baby," he said. And that was what I did then. I prepared myself for what was coming, clutching the sheets beneath me as I watched him pushed my legs apart and his face disappeared between my thighs.
I felt his kisses returning to my skin. His warm lips pressing softly around my inner thighs and I sighed as his kisses kept getting closer and closer to the wet heat radiating from my center. He exhaled softly against my bare mound, sending shuddering heat all over my body that I braced harder. I could feel his eyes taking in the sight of my sex and my face that was flushed with heat. I could hear him whispering something to me, but I was lost in a daze, until I could feel him sliding his fingertip over my wet entrance, slowly stroking the smooth flesh up and down.
My mouth was opened as I was gasping for air, overwhelmed with the sensation he was giving me. This was not the first time he had ever touched me there, but this is the first that I knew we would not be stopping at that. And just before I ever had any control over my body, he gently pressed his mouth over my throbbing nub and lightly sucked on it, allowing my body to shake in his tight hold.
"You are the only girl I have ever wanted this badly," he whispered, slowly easing his fingertip passed my dampened entrance.
"J—Jungkook!"
He continued swirling his tongue over my clit, with his fingers were slowly opening my nether lips apart before I felt one finger easing in and out of me. I could feel myself shaking and my body jolting upward as he pulled his finger out and eased two fingers in, creating sounds of whimpers and gasps of breath to be released from my lips. The sensation took over me bit by bit, exhilarating each time it came to me that I lost control over my own body, only realizing how I was reacting to his actions when I felt his hand pressing my hips down as my body arched up.
"It's okay, baby. Let go. Don't hold back." He pulled his tongue away to whisper to me in a raspy voice, before coming back down and take my clit back between his lips. And so I did. I opened my eyes and let myself go, surrendering to the increasing heat that came flowing through my body. Whimpers and cries escaped me as the sensation built up from underneath, surging through my body and all over me. He kept licking and sucking until I slowly came down from my blissful pleasure.
My body was still shaking and my chest was still rising and falling as he pulled away from me. His face came to view as he climbed up to hover my body. My eyes met his as I opened them, and watched as he put his drenched fingers into his mouth to suck them clean. "You taste so good," he grunted. No sly grin, no playful smirk, only the look of dark desire in his eyes as he stared into mine. And I nearly cried.
"I want you, Jungkook," I spoke to him with shaky breaths, releasing my tight hold over the sheets to cup his face. "Please—"
He took my lips to a kiss filled with deep hunger, taking my breath away right before it even had any chance to recover. His tongue started slipping between my swollen lips to dominate me. He filled all of my senses with his hot kiss and his warm body pressing down onto me. I loved the feeling of his weight pressed against mine. It made me feel safe as we share our warmth and vibrating heartbeat as we were pressed to one another, skin against skin, and I let my hands to land on his back so I could press him closer to me, as if it was even possible.
My heartbeat started racing at full speed as I felt his hand spreading my legs wider. And soon I could feel his erection nudging at my still throbbing center below.
"Look at me," he spoke to me softly, once again pulling my attention to him. I looked into his eyes that were giving me comfort through his loving gaze. His hand reached between our bodies to align the tip of his length to my dripping core, and he kept his eyes on mine as he pushed through.
I called his name as I cried out, feeling him entering my untouched passage slowly and spreading them apart. Pain and pleasure came surging through my body that I instinctively stiffened the moment he broke through the last resistance. The pain was brief, but I was shivering and it took me a while before I could exhale my breath and relaxed.
"Are you okay, baby?" he whispered to me, kissing my skin and stroking his fingers on my cheeks to calm me down. "Take a deep breath and relax."
"I'm okay," I quickly answered him, and started kissing him back as I gave him a reassuring smile. "It's okay."
He gave me another kiss, before pulling his hips backwards ever so gently, only to push forward again, slowly inching back inside me. I sighed in our shared kiss when I felt my body adjusting to his length filling me inside, each slow movements he made was beginning to replace every pain into pleasure. A sigh came out as a mewl when I felt the pleasure building into a new sensation, something similar as the one he gave me before, but higher, and much more intense than anything I had ever felt before. Jungkook grunted when I started moving my own hips, wanting to feel more of him inside me by matching the way he moved in and out of me. He leaned down, whispering sweet nothings while nibbling on my earlobe and biting the sensitive skin on my neck, getting faster and deeper in each thrust he made.
"_____," he groaned, his muscles tightening as he eased in and out of me with greater urgency. I could no longer control the loud moans slipping out of my lips. It just felt too good. Everything felt so incredibly pleasuring that I felt like I was flying, like I was reaching to the highest peak with no return.
The bed creaked underneath us. The headboard gently rocking against the wall as Jungkook increased the speed of his smooth thrusts. He kept moving and repeating his thrusts as he chased for his peak while giving me mine.
Until I was finally there.
I cried out his name as my body started shaking. Shocks of pleasure came vibrating all over my skin with an intensity that I knew would leave me sated and wanting more. The feeling of my body being split into two and burning with sensation was the only two things I could sense, while I could only see white beneath my eyelids. Jungkook kept moving in and out of me with rapid speed, until he suddenly released a deep grunt and growled my name, before he slowly decreased his movements and fell on top of me.
We lied there in each other's arms, exchanging body heat and sweat, filling the air with the sounds of our breaths through passing moments. As time started to become irrelevant as he lingered in the pleasuring silence between us, he pushed himself up to look into my eyes. "You are amazing," he whispered to me as he kissed my lips.
"I'm yours now," was the only thing I said to him once he pulled away. And his eyes turned darker than night.
"I will never let you go," he firmly told me.
I reached up to pull him down and give him a soft kiss. "Please don't let me down," I whispered between our kiss.
"I won't. I promise."