The day of the gala, Alex was having a hard time getting all his affairs in order. He was leaving on tour in a matter of days and didn't even want to go to the gala, but he figured that at least now he had a chance to say goodbye to the people that mattered before he disappeared for a few weeks.
But then, as he got back to his house from dropping off Rosie at his parents' house, and saw Bonnie and Tabitha already waiting out on the porch for his arrival, he realized there weren't really that many people he was sure mattered anymore.
"This is exciting," said Bonnie as she got in the backseat. "I fully expected to be here tonight taking care of Rosie. It's really nice that you wanted me to come along, Alex."
"It was actually my idea," Tabitha said from the passenger seat.
Alex ensured they were buckled in and started driving, saying, "An idea that I wholeheartedly agreed with. Besides, I don't really know what to expect at this party. Or who for that matter. You know? So I wanted to bring along people I can count on."
He smiled at Bonnie from the rear-view mirror and then turned to give his sister a smile. Tabitha smiled back and then preoccupied herself with carefully painting her nails. Maybe he wasn't ready to face everyone at the gala but the women coming along with him sure were.
***
"Marley, hi," said John, taking a seat in front of her at The Lima Bean. "How are you?"
"I'm good, thank you," she said. "Um, I know my call probably came as a surprise."
"Yeah, it kind of did," he nodded. "You're not going to the, uh... To the gala thing later?"
"Oh I am," she said. "I'm swinging by the house to change and then I'll head over there. I just knew that you were going because I saw the RSVP sheet the other day and, um, you were on there. And I figured that instead of doing the awkward run-in with each other there we should, um, talk beforehand. Just us without the pressure of everyone else being there."
"Sounds good to me," he said, getting comfortable in his chair as she began to fidget with the centerpiece.
"And um, basically," Marley said, "at the gala we're, uh, asking for money to, uh, fund the establishment of a new private school. We've, uh, not settled on a name yet and we're—"
"Wait a minute," John stopped her. "You're starting a school? Who's 'we' in this..?"
"Finn and..." she trailed off. "There's a lot of people getting involved now. Um, but yeah it was sort of Finn who's been working on it for the last, like, four or five months."
"Oh," said John. "Wow. That's, I mean—wow. Congrats. I think?"
"No, yeah, this is, it's great," Marley nodded. "It's really going to be... good. I think. But, uh, we're building a committee right now for what still needs to be done. We're at a point where we want to open up in eighteen months. And everyone's going to hear this later at the gala but I didn't want to, like... I wanted to tell you myself, personally. Ask for support."
"What kind of support?" asked John, crossing his hands on the desk. "Is it..? Like, do you want a donation or..?"
"God," Marley pushed back her hair. "It's so weird. It's like—give me some money. But no, I mean. That's not the only thing we need. We need, um. We need a lot actually. Like, right now we're in the process of filling out all the, like, incorporation forms. It's like, the stuff we submit to the board of education and Finn's getting a lawyer to sort of help out with that and fill it all out and stuff. Just someone from the community. And then a couple weeks later hopefully we can get approved and then, um, Kitty already said that she would help us with like the city stuff and getting, like, a space to build the school and stuff and..."
"Uh huh," said John.
"And um, while we're on the subject of Kitty," she continued. "Well, I should probably mention that, um, I know."
John stared at her in confusion. "You know," he repeated.
"I know," she said again, as though that clarified anything.
"Please," he said, laughing awkwardly. "Elaborate."
Marley let out a shaky breath. "Um," she began, "well, I know about you and her. And the yacht."
"Oh..." John looked away uncomfortably.
"And I get it," she said. "It was a while ago. You were free. You are free. Um, I just wanted to clarify that, um... Well, I don't want to make this into a thing or be passive-aggressive about it so I just wanted to put it out in the open that I found out and... And I don't want to know the details, but it really hurt me. Um, and that's hard enough to say."
He glanced up at her again.
Her voice shaking a little, she went on, "And that's another reason I hadn't reached out until now. So now that it's all out there... do you think you'd want to join our committee? Or donate?"
"Um," John said, taking it all in. He drummed on the table for a little bit and then said, "Well, I'm not sure there's anything I could contribute other than money. And even then, I don't know how much, really. I have my own business I'm running and, uh. Yes, I'm doing well for myself but I'm musician rich. Not... You know, Donald Trump rich. Even Donald Trump isn't Donald Trump rich."
Marley forced a smile and said, "Well... We're not asking for any one person to singlehandedly fund us. We just want to know how much you could contribute. You know, maybe, to our annual budget. Maybe more to our start-up cost. Like, the building of the actual school is going to take up a lot of the money we end up raising tonight and... Just purchasing the land... But, um, I know you put a lot of your own personal wealth into the studio and into the incredible arena and I... I think you know what it takes to start something like this. And having someone with business management skills in our committee would be great."
John was afraid to disappoint her but still he said, "Marley... You can count on me for a donation but outside of that... I mean... My business—I handle a lot of the artistic stuff. The production. The music. The contacts. But all the standard business stuff, that's all Mandy. She's the one with a business degree, you know? So... If my studio's been impressive at all that's on her. Maybe see if she's interested."
He checked the time on his phone.
"I'd love to stay and talk a little longer," he added, "but I have to go and get changed. You do, too. So uh... I'll see you at the gala?"
"Yeah, yeah, of course," she said. "Sorry for taking up your time and thank you..."
She forced a smile, waving as he got up and headed out.
***
"Welcome, welcome," said Brittany as she ushered Julie, Skye and Shawn into the ballroom. "Your sitting arrangements are on this table behind me, next to Lord Tubbington."
"Lord Tubbington, huh," said Skye, admiring the over-sized cat on the table.
"The third," Brittany clarified as Skye approached.
Skye smiled at the cat and called out to it, trying to pet it and then sneezing. "Oh no..." she said, scrunching up her nose and moving away. "My allergies."
"Wait, why..." Shawn said as he looked over the seating chart, turning to Brittany. "Why are we not sitting together?"
Julie peered over his shoulder as Skye continued her attempts at petting Lord Tubbington III. Surely enough, she and Shawn were sitting on opposite ends of the ballroom. In fact, the whole thing seemed weird and some of the names on there really unnerved her.
Brittany laughed and nonchalantly said, "Well, it's a Sexy Gala. I wasn't going to sit people just anywhere."
Confused, Julie turned to Shawn or Skye for some hope of explanation but neither of them understood what was going on.
***
TABLE F
"This is kind of ridiculous," said Ryder. The gala was officially started, as every one of Brittany's seventy-eight guests had already been seated. There was a large dance floor capable of fitting all of them and more at the center. Eighteen tables of four surrounded it, along with one large table at the back which held eight seats.
On that bigger table, Lord Tubbington III was sitting patiently next to Brittany's empty seat as Brittany walked around, answering everyone's questions and concerns.
Ryder was sitting on a table labeled 'F' which happened to be third closest to the stage on the left side of the dance floor. Lyric, Stefan and Tracy were at the same table—and the latter was pissed.
"It's way ridiculous," she said. "I got roped into doing this thing because it was supposed to be a big charity event but I should've known that unless it had the PTM stamp on it, it wasn't going to be a worthwhile cost."
"Well, I don't think starting a school is completely worthless," said Lyric, annoyed at who her company ended up being.
"It is when it's a private school," Tracy responded. "Seriously, I'm here to donate so the privileged can have somewhere new to go to school to?"
"Didn't seem like that was all it was," Ryder shook his head. Then he added, "Besides, that's not what I was complaining about. I was talking about these seating arrangements. I don't understand how it works. I made Jackie come to this with me. My girlfriend. And now she's forced to sit across from me on the other end of the ballroom. She's in Table G and I'm in table..." He looked down at the label at the center of the table. "...F. What does that even mean?"
"Failures?" Stefan suggested.
"Hey Brittany!" Ryder called out as he saw their host approaching. "Can you come and explain what we're doing here?"
Brittany quickly said something to Dani on the next table over and then joined them, poised and relaxed while everyone else at the gala seemed to be freaking out over the seating confusion.
"What can I help you with?" she asked.
"What is this?" asked Ryder, pointing to the nametags around the table. "Why can't we sit where we want with who we want?"
Brittany laughed, "Why would you?"
"Uh..." responded Ryder, not sure how to respond.
"It's really simple," Brittany told them. "This is the Sexy Gala. You're here to raise money for a school but you're also here to have fun and every fun party has to have a theme. And I googled what gets people's attention the easiest and the number one answer was sex. Sex sells. But I couldn't have everyone here having sex."
"That'd be an orgy," Lyric agreed with a nod.
"So even though everyone here has had sex with someone here already," Brittany shrugged, "so it's like we all did have an orgy, I couldn't make that the theme. And it turns out that in connection with that, people really like attractive things and people. So that's the theme. Not sex but rather sexiness!"
"Wait," said Ryder, shaking his head. "You're telling me that... No, that's really horrible."
"Yes," Brittany nodded, smiling proudly.
Tracy scoffed and Stefan exclaimed, "We're seated by attractiveness?! Why am I in table F? A, B, C, D, E, F... That's the sixth letter in the alphabet."
"You're eleven and twelve," said Brittany. "From the male and female rankings. They were done separately and then we combined for seating arrangements! Fun, right?"
Tracy spun around in her chair, looking across the ballroom and pointing at each table as she counted them off. "What table is Francesca?" she said, noting her plus one to the party who was sitting directly across from her on the other side of the dancefloor.
Brittany quickly looked across and answered, "That would be Table E."
"Oof," said Stefan. "E comes before F."
"I know my ABCs!" Tracy exclaimed, making people from adjoining tables briefly turn their way. "Why did you do this to us?"
"Yeah, it's insulting," Lyric agreed.
"I think it's a compliment, actually," said Brittany, shrugging. "Sorry, but it's not like I ranked you. The people have spoken and it is what it is. Have fun, get to know each other, and stay put. You can't get up. At least not now. There's a great surprise on the way."
As she walked away, Stefan, Ryder, Tracy and Lyric looked at each other and Stefan said, I have two questions. The first is who ranked us. The second is... If we're all ranked, even within this table... Was I hotter than Ryder or the other way around?"
Ryder rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Pretty soon everyone knew what was going on and there were very few people who liked it.
***
TABLE S
"Okay, let's just say what we're all thinking," Kurt said, glancing around his eight-seat table. "Brittany has really outdone herself with this theme. In a horrible, horrible way. I thought we left ranking hottness in high school."
"I can't believe we're the bottom of the barrel," Kitty complained beside him. On her other side, Mercedes was spun around on her seat, talking to Chad in Table R.
"At least they got to sit pretty much next to each other," Puck noted, sitting next to Mercedes as well. He turned away from her to Brittany's empty seat and then said, "She won't even let us mingle outside our tables and yet she hasn't spent a second sitting here."
"If I were Brittany," said Artie from next to Kurt, "I would've put myself at one of the front tables. Not way in the back."
"Gotta respect her integrity, I guess," said Kurt.
"What I wanna know is what this bitch is doing here," said Kitty, getting everyone at the table to turn in Shannon's direction.
Shannon was sitting quietly between Artie and Lord Tubbington III, who was sipping from a bowl of milk.
"How dare you show your face around here after the way you tried to scam our girl?" said Kitty. "Who even invited you?"
"Brittany did," said Shannon, frowning. "I reached out to her about the episode she did about my organization."
"I think you mean cult," Kitty snapped.
"It's not a cult," Shannon squinted at her.
"Right," Kitty said, gasping at the epiphany. "It's a pyramid scheme."
"Okay, can we get back to the current problem?" said Kurt. "Our friend invited us to a party to ask us for money and at the same party decided to tell us we were the ugliest of all our friends. What are we going to do about it?"
"Nothing," Artie answered as Puck said, "Get hammered," and Shannon muttered, "It's a perfectly legal organization..."
"I can't believe I'm saying this," said Kurt, turning to Kitty. "But I think you're the only person at this table I can count on." Kitty rolled her eyes. It was sad but true.
***
TABLE I
"Yikes, I'd hate to be those guys over there," Carrie said as she watched Artie and Kurt bickering from afar, wishing she could hear whatever drama was going on. "Imagine being told you're the ugliest people here."
"I don't even understand this," said Bianca.
"I don't understand why any of you are here," said Carrie, glancing around the table at her, Charlie and Caleb. To the latter she said, "Especially you. I don't think I'd seen you in years. Not since... What, the cruise thing?"
"Uh..." said Caleb.
"We're guests, just like you," said Charlie.
"Yeah," Bianca agreed, though she and Charlie looked at each other only to exchange awkward glances and quickly turn away.
Charlie glanced instead across the dance floor to table D where Kayli was sitting laughing at something Nick Jonas was saying.
"Man, I'm kind of starstruck right now," Bianca admitted, taking a look at everyone. "I know I've seen them around before, especially at the club. But this feels so intimate."
Charlie didn't respond. He was watching Kayli talk now. At least she wasn't with her boyfriend.
***
TABLE K
"He won't stop staring at her," Gus said to Riley, who was sitting across from him and had been tearing up pieces of a napkin to spit through a straw at Jake.
She turned to him and asked, "Huh?"
In that time, Jake grabbed a napkin, balled it up, and bounced it right off her head.
She gasped and snapped back at him, so Bree reached over to Riley and held back her hand, taking her straw from her. "Enough!" she exclaimed. "Seriously. You're acting like children."
"Jeez, someone's stressed," Riley responded, folding her arms over the table. "And I'm bored."
"Sorry," Bree sighed. "Sorry... I'm just on edge. Stefan is sitting too close to Cleo and I can't stand the bitch. And he's also right by TJ. I'm scared they'll get into a fight."
"A fight at one of our reunions?" said Jake sarcastically. "That seems so unlikely though."
Bree gave him a look and Riley said, "I have my money on Gus here being the first to throw a punch."
She nodded at him as he continued glaring Charlie's way. "I'm not going to fight him," Gus said. "I just wish he'd stop looking across the room at my girlfriend every thirty seconds. Look, there he goes again."
"Maybe the perfect people at the front tables will be the ones to fight," said Bree hopefully. "And the rest of us average and ugly people won't have to."
"We're not ugly," Gus told her, laughing. "We're not even average. I'm a model. It's ridiculous I was voted this low. I call racism. We're all people of color here." He turned to Riley and said, "You're Latina, right?"
"Half," she nodded.
"Yeah, it was racist!" Gus exclaimed, banging the table.
Bree and Jake exchanged looks and Bree looked over at the front table. "Well, the people at the front are all white."
"One of them is mixed, actually," said Jake.
"They all look white," Bree corrected herself, annoyed. "Maybe we can claim racism, throw a fit, and then have the whole seating chart thrown away."
"Somehow I don't think that'll work on Brittany," said Jake, sighing. "I just wish I wasn't on the opposite side of this thing as Leila."
"It technically means you were ranked almost equally in hotness," Riley said, reaching for her straw again. "So at least that's a compliment, right? Maybe I can go draw an ugly wart on myself and get moved down so that Leila can come take my place."
"I don't think that'll work either," Jake said, a half-smile on his face. "But even though I'm away from her, at least I get to be seated with cool, chill people."
A spitball hit the corner of his eye and after he blinked and brushed it off his arm, the first thing he saw were Bree and Gus back to glaring. Riley was preparing her next shot. Maybe not so cool or chill after all.
***
TABLE A
"Should we be flattered or angry?" asked Kara, looking around at the rest of the table. "I mean, yay, I'm the sexiest woman here. That's great. But... I wanted to sit with my girlfriend."
"I wanted to sit with my wife," sighed Sam, turning back to look over his shoulder at Quinn, having a discussion with John on the next table over, as Shawn and Joyce listened in uncomfortable silent.
"And I wanted to not sit with my ex-fiance," Mandy said beside him. "No offense."
"A little taken but I get it," said Sam. He turned to Alex and said, "At least you get bragging rights now, right? Lima voted you the sexiest man alive or whatever."
"Alive in Lima," Kara corrected. "And who was going to attend this thing." Alex turned to her and she said, "Not that it makes you any less sexy."
"I don't care about that," said Alex, rolling his eyes. "I just... It wasn't how I expected to spend one of my last days in town before tour."
"Oh is that starting already?" Mandy asked. "Congratulations. And, uh, good luck."
"Yeah, thanks," Alex said, forcing a smile at her. He glanced past her and Sam at John and then turned to the stage so Mandy was very clear on why he wasn't too eager to talk to her. She had been John's right-hand woman for so long that it was basically like talking to him.
Luckily, Brittany, Marley and Finn were taking the stage so there was no longer a need to keep trying to make small talk.
***
STAGE
"Hi everyone!" Brittany cut all conversations short. "I'm so glad you could all make it down here. I know there are a lot of questions but I wanted to give you a chance to break the ice at your tables. Welcome to what is... really our McKinley reunion for the year!"
There were a few lazy murmurs and pity claps. The only genuine applause came from behind her, where Finn was grinning for a few seconds before the smile faded at the sight of everyone else's lack of enthusiasm.
As he stopped clapping, Brittany continued, "I knew it was going to be tough getting everybody here at the same time. Not only do some of you hate each other, but some of you cannot stand me—I'm looking at you, Carrie!"
She smiled and pointed an index finger in Table E's direction. Carrie gave the people around her a coy smile, waving a hand like she was royalty being praised.
"Let's not waste any time," Brittany wrapped up. "I'm going to hand things over to... Well, they're kind of tonight's co-hosts. He doesn't understand the concept of karma and he invented the horrifyingly awesome pizzacoger—which I'm told by Table B is really dirty when translated to Spanish."
She glanced over at Table B, where Julie and Santiago nodded while Shana and Christopher scrunched up their noses in disgust.
"And she," Brittany continued, "is a big fan of Jessica Simpson, has been trying to learn how to twerk for a decade and a half, and lost her virginity to her own son."
Marley made a face, looking up at Finn and then back at Brittany with concern.
"They are both unemployed. Give it up for your nineteenth sexiest guy here, Finn Hudson, and the fourteenth sexiest woman, Marley Rose!"
As Brittany moved aside, Finn and Marley hesitantly stepped up to the microphone, glad that hadn't gone on any longer.
"Wow," said Marley, clearing her throat. "Thank you, Brittany, for that fantastic introduction." Behind her, Brittany gave a quick courtesy. "Um," Marley addressed the guests. "I'm so glad you could all make it here tonight. And I know there was some confusion about why you were brought here tonight and what it is we're raising money for so we didn't wanna let the rumors go around with false information. We're fundraising because we're starting a school."
Finn cut any rising murmurs short by jumping in, "It's not just any school. We've been doing a lot of research and talking to the people we need to be talking to and, uh, we found out that our best bet here was to go private. So we're actually going to need a lot of money because we're building a boarding school."
They saw the confused looks and whispers being exchanged throughout the ballroom. Finn turned to Marley, both of them concerned that being upfront was actually going to lead to less money now.
"Remember in high school?" Finn said, getting everyone's attention again. "I know only about a third of you actually attended McKinley... But you all had some type of high school education. And you know what it's like. You know the struggle of being a part of an institution that cares more about corporate things than it does about what the students actually want or need. And McKinley... McKinley tried. I really believe we did our best and we improved over the years. But ultimately, the state still didn't care for that. They cared about money and the government isn't the best place to look for people who care about our children's education."
Kitty raised a hand all the way in the back.
Marley frowned, looking up at Finn for a moment and then saying, "We're not really taking questions yet."
"I don't care," said Kitty, a little hard to hear from back there and having to raise her voice significantly. "It's not even a question. I just want to make it clear that the city has very little say in what we do at our public schools. Hence why we only have one left."
"Thank you," said Finn. "Uh... exactly. We've been trying to improve Lima over the last decade. The people in this room know that and are very much responsible for the great things this city has. Particularly when it comes to music and fashion. But why aren't we putting this much effort into reconstructing our city's school system? When we were teenagers there were four high schools in the city. That has gone down to one. One. It's ridiculous."
"Not only does that mean the state doesn't care about education in general," Marley weighted in. "But only having one high school in Lima means the kids attending it are at an overcrowded school, where resources are scarce and there aren't enough teachers to really give each child the individualized attention they need. That's why Finn and I are doing this. We want to build a place where we can give back everything McKinley gave to us."
"The school had its issues," Finn nodded. "That's hard to deny. But it ultimately gave us the glee club. And football... And Cheerios... It set us on the paths that we embarked on and gave us so many blessings. I mean, look around. Did we ever think we'd be attending a reunion with international popstars who are currently at the top of the charts and big business moguls expanding all over the city and the country and fashion designers with their own tables at the Met Gala?"
He glanced around and saw people doing the same.
"No, of course not," said Finn. "But being in Lima doesn't make you a loser anymore. And shouldn't we want the same opportunities and way more for our children? Or do you all plan on sending them to schools out of state and out of the country so they can take our legacies elsewhere and let Lima eventually fade back to what it used to be?"
There was a large pause, in which the silence was overwhelming. Finn's words were weighing on people, so Marley stepped in and said, "We appreciate the great minds and talents we have here. We need people willing to open doors for the students who will grace the new McKinley's hallways. We need connections. We need business-minded people who will help us out and make up our board of directors. Devoted parents to head the parents' board and educators to pledge their commitment for the future now. And of course, we need money."
Brittany rushed up to the microphone and cut in between them. "You heard 'em everyone," said Brittany. "Open up your wallets and pull out those checkbooks and write one out to McKinley Academy. We accept cash, credit, checks, money orders... American money only please. And if their passionate speech about education didn't stir you to donate, I've also prepared a few incentives for you tonight. At the center of your tables, you will see a menu of, not food, but rather things that your donations will get you tonight. That includes the ability to purchase performances from anyone in the room as well as the grand prize of participating in a Comedy-Central-style roast later in the evening. Your money will not only let you be a part of the roasting, but also help you put in a bid on who we roast. And with that, I now let you enjoy the evening. Let's party everyone!"
***
TABLE A
Just a few minutes after Brittany had set the party in motion, people were in much better spirits. Meals were being served and people were less likely to move around then, eager to be fed.
But Sam had really loved the fundraising idea, and while the rest of his table ate, he pulled his chair back to line it up with Quinn's.
"Babe," he hissed at her for her attention. "Babe... I need to tell you something. Babe!" She was talking to Shawn across the table, while John and Joyce sat awkwardly digging into their food.
Annoyed, she cut her sentence short and turned his way. "Yes?" she said as patiently as she could.
He scoot his chair closer to her and said, "We should sing."
"No," she shut him down immediately. "I'm eating."
"Yeah, but," Sam insisted, "we should go. I think people need someone to get things started. Look around. Brittany wanted us to sing and no one's into it. No one's dancing."
"People are eating, Sam," Quinn told him.
Sam glanced around. "Not everyone," he pointed out. "Look. TJ Gibbs is walking around, introducing himself to people. It's really cool that he's here at all and there's no proper entertainment. And look over there. Nick Jonas is here. Do we really want TJ Gibbs and Nick Jonas at a boring party?"
"Baby, I love you," Quinn sighed. "But I don't care about any of this. Just write a check so we can mingle a little and go home, okay?"
Sam frowned as Quinn turned back to the people at her table. He scoot his chair back up to his own table, where Mandy was staring at her plate while Kara and Alex whispered to each other.
"This blows..." he murmured to himself, moving his own plate aside to reach for the menu at the center.
$1,000 - for a song (per performer)
$5,000 - to participate in roast
$5,000 - to enter bid on roastee
He whistled and put the menu down. That wasn't even all of it. Brittany wasn't kidding about getting money from them with every opportunity for entertainment.
He looked back at Quinn, who was now making small talk with Joyce.
He quickly got up and made his way to Brittany's table in the back.
***
TABLE C
"Do you miss Vegas at all?" Quinn asked as she took a sip of her wine, wiping the corners of her mouth delicately and turning to Joyce.
"Sometimes," Joyce shrugged, digging her fork into her past without any of Quinn's grace. "It wasn't as glamorous as you might think. Every now and then something crazy was happening down the block from where I was but you can avoid the mayhem if you want."
"I'd say the same for Lima, actually," Shawn chimed in. "But that's what I love about this town. You can be in the middle of the action or far away from it if you want. There's something for everyone."
John rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and wishing he wasn't trying to stay dry. His glass, which was only water, wasn't going to help him tune out the jackass next to him.
Quinn noticed how much he was being left out of conversations and turned to him, asking, "And how is everything with you, John? Are you heading out on tour anytime soon?"
"Not soon enough," John answered, looking away from the table and showing his lack of participation was entirely out of disinterest.
Quinn leaned away from him, stone-faced as the others sat in awkward silence, not sure how to respond.
The silence was killed when Sam, his bowtie loosened, hurried onto the stage and spoke into the microphone. "Hey everyone!" he exclaimed. "I know everyone's eating and I don't wanna disrupt but... I wanted to make a quick announcement. I just pledged seven-thousand dollars to the new McKinley. What was it... McKinley Academy?"
He glanced over to Table G and made eye contact with Marley, who gave a simple nod.
"Well, I just donated seven-thousand dollars," said Sam.
From one of the back tables, Table M, Santana called out, "What do you want, a cookie?"
People laughed at Sam, who said, "No. But my count that's... six people I get to force up here to sing." He turned to Brittany now and asked, "Right?"
"Oh god," Quinn sighed, turning her back to the stage and sitting forward, staring at her food. She whispered to herself, "Don't say me... Don't say me... Don't say me..."
"Quinn!" Sam exclaimed. "Get over here."
"Crap..." Quinn mumbled, tossing the napkin from her lap on the table and getting out of her seat.
Sam had already collected a handful of microphones he was struggling to keep in his hands. Quinn reached the stage amid applause and took one of them from him, giving him a dirty look and then climbing on stage with him, forcing a smile.
Sam put the extra microphones at the edge of the stage and exclaimed, "Okay, hit it!"
Brittany grabbed her phone and hit a few buttons. From the speakers all around the ballroom, the vaguely familiar old tune began and Quinn turned to Sam, her expression softening.
He smiled at her and raised the microphone to his mouth.
["The Time (Dirty Bit)" by The Black Eyed Peas.]
Sam: I had the time of my life. And I never felt this way before. And I swear this is true. And I owe it all to you.
Quinn sang and it was like she was transported back to their teenage years for just a moment. Of course, the song's remix made it hard to stay in that bubble for too long as this one went a little differently than the one she remembered singing with Sam at Sectionals.
Quinn: Oh I had the time of my life. And I never felt this way before. And I swear this is true. And I owe it all to you-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-you.
From the top of Table M, Mike shouted and instantly people started getting out of their seats.
Mike: ...dirty bit! ...dirty bit!
At the back table, Table S, Artie pulled back from his spot on the table and started rapping. Sam held out a hand with four fingers up.
Artie: I-I came up in here to rock. Light a fire make it hot. I don't wanna take no pictures. I just wanna take some shots.
On the opposite side of Artie's table, Puck got up, too, quickly rounding the table so that he could push him onto the dance floor.
Puck: So come on let's go. Let's lose control. Let's do it all night 'till we can do it no more.
On stage, Sam held up a fifth finger, his palm in the air as he and Quinn watched their friends get up to dance.
Artie: People rock it to the sound. Turn it up and watch it pound. We gon' rock it to the top. 'Till the roof come burning down.
Many of them were people sitting at opposite sides of the room who couldn't wait for a moment with their significant others.
Puck: Yea it's hot in here. The temperature. Has got these ladies gettin' freakier.
Led by Mike, Santana left Table M and made her way to Table S, where she stopped behind Brittany.
Santana: I got freaky, freaky, baby. I was chillin with my ladies. I didn't come to get bougie. I come here to get crazy.
Brittany let go of Lord Tubbington the Third and took the hand Santana offered, the two of them following Mike onto the dance floor.
Brittany: I was born to get wild. That's my style. If you didn't know that. Well baby now you know now.
Leading the charge, the singers gathered on the stage while their friends danced. Sam had his seven singers already, which he could be proud of, but more than that, he had gotten the party truly started.
All: 'Cause I'm. Havin'. A good time with you. I'm tellin' you!
Satisfied, he lovingly pulled Quinn to him, holding her hand and bringing her closer as he sang to her.
Sam: I had the time of my life. And I never felt this way before. And I swear this is true. And I owe it all to you.
Quinn giggled, jumping into her line and smiling every time she had to do the vocal effects herself.
Quinn: Oh I had the time of my life. And I never felt this way before. And I swear this is true. And I owe it all to you-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-you.
By the time Mike chimed in with his bit, there were very few New Directions alumni still in their seats.
Mike: ...dirty bit! ...dirty bit!
Puck smiled when he saw Jake, dancing with Bree and Riley, at the head of the dance floor, showing off his moves. He was sure his little brother hadn't done any of that in a while.
Puck: A-All these girls they like my swagger. They callin me Mick Jagger. I be rollin like a stone. Jet setter, Jet lagger.
Even Carrie and Peyton, who hadn't been a part of the New Directions, had joined their McKinley friends in dancing about.
Artie: We ain't messin' with no maggots. Messin' with the baddest. Chicks in the club. Honey what's up.
As she danced with Julie, Shana glanced up at the stage and saw Santana singing with Brittany, the two replicating some of the dance moves they still remembered from their Unholy Trinity days.
Puck: Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the baddest of them all. It's gotta be the apl. I'm the mac daddy, ya'll. Haters better step back. Ladies don't load your act. I'm the party application rock it-
Letting out a deep sigh, she turned back to Julie and forced a smile, trying to ignore her wife's behavior.
Puck and Artie: -just like that.
Julie, meanwhile, glanced across the floor to the adjacent tables where Alex and John had been. It seemed that Alex had gotten out of his seat to dance with Unique and Marley, but John had stayed back, watching all the action next to Shawn, who seemed far more entertained.
All: 'Cause I'm. Havin'. A good time with you. I'm tellin' you!
Julie looked away, smiling at Shana and letting herself be spun around. Who cared if a grumpy man refused to dance with his high school friends? She was going to enjoy it.
Sam: I-I-I-I'v had the time of my li-I-fe. And I never felt this way before-fore. And I swear-wear this is true ue-ue-ue. And I owe it all to you.
Everyone else who had been on the stage scattered into the dance floor, so Sam and Quinn remained, having fun with the vocal effects.
Quinn: Oh I-I-I I'v had the time of my li-I-fe. And I never felt this way before-fore. And I swear-wear this is true-ue-ue-ue. And I owe it all to you.
Finn stood at the edge of the stage, watching with a smile on his face. He wasn't dancing, at least not yet, but his school was seven-thousand dollars richer and, best of all, his old friends were all having a good time together.
Sam: I-I-I-I-I had the time of my li-I-fe. And I never felt this way before-fore. And I swear-wear this is true-ue-ue-ue. And I owe it all to you.
He could only hope that this started a ripple effect, and that more people paid to perform up on stage. Not only would his fundraising go well, but the night would prove to be an effective reunion, and perhaps one of the best they'd ever had.
Quinn: Oh I-I-I-I'v had the time of my li-I-fe. And I never felt this way before-fore. And I swear-wear this is true-ue-ue-ue. And I owe it all to you.
But that last part was yet to be determined.
Mike: ...dirty bit!
***
DANCE FLOOR
The next song was picked out by Blaine, who had felt left out of the next performance and paid two-thousand dollars to duet with Kurt.
During that time, Julie had considered going back to her seat to talk to Santiago, getting Shawn to dance with her, or mingling with Skye. But there was someone else she had noticed whom she was eager to talk to, so she headed to TABLE I and asked Caleb to dance.
Surprised, he accepted and followed her lead to a clear space in the dance floor.
"So," she said, swaying in front of him with her hands loosely on his shoulders, "you're here?"
"I am," he smiled. "Sorry... Is it weird that I..? I was invited. By Artie, actually. And I figured it was for a good cause and... I didn't know what the cause was, honestly, but I weirdly missed this town. All the singing and stuff."
"Yeah," Julie forced a laugh. "Um, I was just surprised. That's all. We hadn't seen each other since... that time."
He nodded and glanced away for a moment, having a hard time making eye contact in all his awkwardness. "Yeah..." he said. After an uncomfortable silence, he turned back to her and said, "Oh congratulations, by the way. On the engagement. I was really... surprised, actually. I didn't know you were dating, um...?"
"Shawn," she said.
"Yeah, him," Caleb nodded. "But, uh, it's really cool. Good for you. When's the wedding?"
"Next week, actually," Julie said, the impending nuptials sinking in. "Wow... A week from today. Yup."
She looked down and Caleb asked, "You're nervous about it?"
"Can you tell?" she laughed, looking up again. "It's... so scary. The whole marriage thing didn't exactly pan out the last time."
Caleb looked around. Alex was dancing with Amity not too far away. Julie followed his gaze and sighed.
"I just wanna make it work with him," she said.
"Well, I hope it does work out," he said genuinely. "I really do. You deserve happiness."
"Thank you," Julie smiled. "You do, too. And hey, take your pick. There are a lot of single ladies here who I'd be glad to set you up with."
Caleb laughed, shaking his head. "No, thank you," he said. "I think, for now, I should date outside the Lima pool."
Julie scrunched up her nose, but agreed, "Yeah, you're probably right about that."
They continued talking, making small talk throughout the song.
***
TABLE C
As Shawn watched Julie dancing with her ex, he and John were the only ones at their table. Quinn was dancing with Sam and Joyce had joined Kara, Addison, Alex, and Amity at the edge of the dance floor.
John noted the look on Shawn's face, like he was worried, and followed his gaze to where Julie and Caleb were dancing.
He laughed.
Shawn turned to him and asked, "What?"
John shrugged, "Nothing. It's just... This is so typical."
"What is?" asked Shawn, confused.
"You're doubting it, huh?" John asked. "You're looking over there and you're thinking about Julie having all these exes here. And even more potential future boyfriends. And you're wondering how long it was going to last."
Shawn made a face. "No..." he said. "I was just wondering when I could cut in and go spend time with my fiancée."
John smiled, shaking his head at him.
So Shawn moved his chair in closer and leaned forward, asking, "Wait, what do you mean potential future boyfriends?"
John rolled his eyes and turned in his chair, angling himself so that he was facing the rest of the gala. "Don't be blind, Shawn," he said. "Take a look around. First there's the exes: Ryder over there with his girlfriend... Every time he and Julie are single they go back to each other, like magnets. And then there's Nick over there with Skye Bliss. Her booty call."
Shawn frowned. "I thought nothing ever happened between them and that was just tabloid gossip," he said.
John laughed again and continued, "Then there's Sebastian."
"Sebastian?" said Shawn incredulously. "Now I know you're messing with me. The guy's gay."
"It's 2028, buddy," said John. "Sexuality is fluid."
"What?" Shawn said, confused. "Stop messing with me."
"Fine, don't believe me she had a thing with him, too," John sighed, "then let's keep going. Look, there goes Jake. I'm sure if not for Leila she'd be barking up that tree again. Then there's Sam, of course. The father of her children. Her soulmate, some would say. And of course, can't forget, the man, the legend, Alex himself."
He nodded towards the dance floor, where Alex was charming the women who surrounded him.
"How long do you think it'll take?" asked John.
"What?" Shawn said again.
"For her to realize leaving him was a mistake," John shrugged. "If she has her way, she'll be bouncing back from you and him for the next year or so, then finally decide to go with him permanently. It's what she does. Trust me."
"You're just mad," Shawn said, not buying into it. "You're salty that she bested you at the Grammys last week. And that no matter what you try to do to tackle her reputation, she already did enough damage to yours. Without her, your career doesn't exist."
Shawn stood up and John stayed put, saying, "I'll be fine without her, actually. But you..? Do you even have a backup plan for when she dips on you?"
Ignoring him, Shawn made his way to the dance floor, ready to dance with his girlfriend and end all doubts people may have over who she was committed to.
***
STAGE
["1950" by King Princess.]
Isaac: I hate it when dudes try to chase me... But I love it when you try to save me. 'Cause I'm just a lady.
Isaac was surprised when Amity put in a bid for him to perform. He was flattered, really, and even more when she said she wanted to sing with him.
Isaac: I love it when we play 1950. It's so cold that your stare's 'bout to kill me. I'm surprised when you kiss me...
But her time on stage was really just a way to avoid having to talk to certain people.
Isaac with Amity: So tell me why my gods look like you... And tell me why it's wrong..?
At Table D, Damian was conversing with Skye but he had been trying to talk to her since he arrived. At Table H, Dani was waiting to tell her something and she just didn't want to know what it was. And of course, there was Shannon at Table S, sitting there next to Lord Tubbington for whatever reason.
Both: So I'll wait for you, I'll pray. I will keep on waiting for your love. For you, I'll wait. I will keep on waiting for your...
So she hopped on stage with Isaac, who was having a hard time focusing on the performance when he wasn't singing.
Amity: Did you mean it when you said I was pretty? That you didn't wanna live in a city where the people are shitty?
He kept looking to the back of the room. He and Rylan had been seated in adjacent tables and were practically next to each other if they leaned far back enough. But beside him, Marley's friend Andrew was talking up a storm with Rylan, and he couldn't help watching them like a hawk.
Amity: I like it when we play 1950. So bold, make them know that you're with me. Stone cold, will you miss me?
He almost missed his cue. It was hard to tell from afar what they were talking about. When he had been sitting down, he heard Rylan politely asking Andrew about his cancer being in remission and whether he had any plans to leave town.
Amity with Isaac: So tell me why my gods look like you... And tell me why it's wrong..?
In a way that seemed far too flirty for Isaac's liking, Andrew had responded that he was sticking around and maybe they could 'hang out sometime' after the gala.
Both: So I'll wait for you, I'll pray. I will keep on waiting for your love. For you, I'll wait. I will keep on waiting for your...
Amity sensed him zoning out and stepped up beside him, nudging him to sing right on time.
Isaac: I hope that you're happy with me in your life. I hope that you won't slip away in the night...
He turned to her apologetically but she offered a sympathetic smile.
Amity: I hope that you're happy with me in your life. I hope that you won't slip away...
Maybe she had no idea what was going on in his mind but she was no stranger to heavy thoughts distracting her on stage.
Both: I hate it when dudes try to chase me. I love it when you try to save me. 'Cause I'm just a lady.
He tried to just stick with watching her through the rest of the song and it really did help improve his focus.
Isaac: So tell me why my gods look like you...
But for her, all it did was make her think more about the conversations she would have when Damian and Dani got some time with her.
Amity: And tell me why it's wrong..?
What were they so eager to tell her about? Dating multiple people at once just wasn't meant for her, that much was clear.
Both (Amity): So I'll wait for you, I'll pray. I will keep on waiting for your love. (For your love, for your love, for your love). For you, I'll wait. I will keep on waiting for your...
But the last thing she wanted was to talk to Shannon and find out what that woman was doing there. She had to stay on the move.
***
DANCE FLOOR
After singing, Amity and Isaac walked off the stage together. Riley had paid a thousand dollars to get Jake on stage and his song of choice sped things up on the dance floor.
"Thank you so much for that," said Isaac. "I really needed it, actually."
"I loved singing with you," she assured him. "But... is everything okay? Can I help you in some way?"
"Well..." Isaac hesitated, not knowing how eager Amity was for a distraction. "The truth is that... I have to tell my boyfriend something."
"You have a boyfriend?" asked Amity, pleasantly surprised. "Do I know him?"
"Oh, uh, yeah," Isaac nodded. "I mean, it's new and we haven't really, like... specified... We didn't really put labels on it, you know? And that's part of what's got me worried about what I have to tell him."
"Well, first thing's first," Amity sighed, shaking her head. "You have to DTR. I know to a lot of younger people it's old school. I know when I was in my early 20s nobody wanted to define the relationships and thank god I wasn't single during those days. Relationships are scary but they're a lot scarier when you don't know you and your guy are on the same page."
"Yeah, I know," Isaac let out a deep breath. "I know but... I'm just kind of scared of getting rejected, I guess."
"Yeah, so am I," Amity admitted. She saw Damian coming their way and said, "But maybe I can help you out. Let's go talk to your guy and I'm sure I can help you figure out where he stands before you say anything to him directly."
She followed Isaac towards his table and Damian's walk to her was cut short by Carly, whose table was next to Rylan's and Isaac's.
"Can we have a second?" she asked him.
Damian turned to her and rolled his eyes. "Really?" he asked. "What are you gonna do now? Cause a scene and make everyone think I cheated on you again?"
"You did cheat on me," Carly said. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about."
"Well, I don't have time for your bullshit tonight, Carly," Damian responded. "Why don't you go troll around for another guy here? The room's full of 'em and I'm sure there's gotta be one willing to risk catching whatever you're carrying."
Carly's jaw dropped as Damian walked away and she thought about following him, making that scene he was talking about. But she got distracted when she spotted Francesca and Tracy, having a conversation with Everett.
They were the perfect targets to let her anger out on.
"Hey bitches!" she exclaimed, walking towards them. They turned and Francesca took a step back defensively. "Nah, you don't have to be scared I'm gonna aggravate you, bitch," said Carly. "I just wanted to have a quick conversation and make one thing clear. You bitches ever imply things about me online again, run around talking 'bout I didn't earn my place and I'm just a fad and whatever other nonsense you were spewing on Twitter, and you're gonna have to sleep with one eye open."
Tracy looked away. This wasn't her beef.
But Francesca took a brave step forward and said, "Are you threatening me?"
"I'm promising you, bitch," said Carly.
They were attracting attention and Tracy took the moment to step away, but Francesca kept going, "You really are classless, aren't you? It takes a real hoodrat to show up at an event like this and try to pick a fight."
"This isn't me picking a fight," said Carly, raising an eyebrow. "When I'm picking a fight you'll know cause you'll have your teeth knocked out. You wanna see a real hoodrat?"
"This is so tragic," Francesca laughed. "Look around, sweetie. You're showing everyone that you're exactly who they thought you were. Just another trashy rapper one hit wonder who doesn't know how to leave the barrio behind."
Carly stepped forward but she was held back, to her surprise by none other than TJ Gibbs. She pulled her arm away from his grip and said, "Get your damn paws off me!"
"I'm doing you a favor," TJ told her. "She's not worth it."
Francesca scoffed, "Oh no. Another rapper who hasn't realized he's not as important as he thinks he is."
TJ ignored her, going after Carly who was now storming off. People went back to what they were doing and Francesca turned to Tracy, a smile on her face.
"That was so unnecessary," Tracy told her.
"I'm done with these nobodies coming after me," Francesca said, stroking her own hair. "I had to put that bitch in her place."
Beside her, Everett was quiet. He had been over by them to thank Francesca for sticking up for other models online, and now he'd been standing next to her as she said some pretty nasty things to Carly. He looked around and saw that Mandy, hanging out by John, was watching.
Ignoring her as best as he could, he kept talking to Francesca, hoping that would show Mandy to defend him next time or not bother calling herself a model.
***
TABLE C
"I hate her," said Mandy. "Modeling has really become such a... Ugh, I can't even talk about it. I'm shaking with rage."
John reached for her hand. She was shaking. "Wow," he said as he let it go.
"And look at Minnie," Mandy said, pointing out Bree's newest model, who was at the center of the dance floor with a glass of wine in hand, spilling it everywhere as she twerked on Brittany.
"She looks like a blast," John laughed.
Mandy shook her head. "She's a mess," said Mandy. "She hasn't taken her sobriety seriously, clearly, and Bree's too stubborn to admit that she made a mistake signing her. That is if Bree can even see how she's behaving. She's too busy paying attention to everything else that isn't her."
She nodded towards Bree, who was talking to Stefan and glancing behind her at Cleo and Rory.
"Minnie's a disaster," Mandy continued. "She's nowhere near as annoying as Francesca, who's just pure evil. But she's still a mess. She doesn't care about anything other than herself and her lack of respect is so frustrating. Bree's new line, and really her entire company, is on the line. Imagine if this is how she shows up at the Met Gala? A drunk mess making a scene."
"You mean... like me?" John asked.
Mandy calmed down, turning to him in surprise. "No," she said immediately. "Of course not. You're different."
"Really?" asked John. "Because it wasn't that long ago I wasn't taking my sobriety seriously, doing it just for publicity, and then showing up a mess at these parties, drinking until I was twerking on Brittany Pierce. And once, at a VMAs after party, on Britney Spears."
He smiled but Mandy shook her head. "You're not like her, though," said Mandy. "Well, maybe you have been. But you're not anymore. You're doing so well staying sober and I'm really proud of you. You were always capable of this."
"Maybe Minnie just needs someone to believe in her," John suggested. "Someone to look out for her."
Mandy made a face. "You're not seriously suggesting I take her under my wing or something."
He shrugged. "It's up to you. But it seems like you really want to take Francesca down. And she's got the models wrapped around her finger right now because of the modeling industry versus rappers thing going on. You made a very respectable choice to defend the rappers from her but it put you at odds with the models. Even Everett and he's one of your best friends. So it wouldn't hurt to get an up-and-coming supermodel to like you and look up to you. But that's just what I'd do."
"And you are a great schemer," she sighed. "I saw you talking to Julie's guy earlier... What was that all about?"
"Nothing," John said, hiding a smile. "I think that matter will unravel itself without me having to lift another finger."
***
TABLE P
"Ouch, my feet hurt so much already," Addison complained as she took a seat. Amity was getting up with Rylan and Isaac, leaving the table empty, so Kara sat in Rylan's old seat and squeezed Addison's knee.
"Then take off your shoes but come back and dance with me," said Kara. "You know I love to tear up a dance floor."
"Yeah, I do know that," said Addison. "But I need a break. You can go dance with, like... Joyce or... Amity and Isaac and them. Or you could go join Alex again. You two looked really good together up at the front table."
Kara made a face and burst into laughter. "What?" she said, giggling.
Addison kept a straight face, though, saying, "Really, don't let me hold you back. The two sexiest people here, as voted officially by who knows who, should be spending the night together. Go have fun with him. I'll be fine here."
"You can't seriously be jealous of the rankings," said Kara through her laughter. "I thought I was the jealous one here."
"I just..." said Addison, rolling her eyes. "I don't like how it's always you and Alex this and you and Alex that. And I don't appreciate you making funny of me for it!"
"It's just kind of ridiculous," said Kara. "He and I are lifetime friends and, yeah, some people voted us the hottest people here, but that doesn't mean I'm bound to him by marriage or anything. Or, should I be worried you're about to hook up with..." She looked beside her at the name on the card. "Andrew Chambers?"
"No, he's too young and he's gay," Addison rolled her eyes. "But it's not the same thing regardless. You and Alex have a long history together. And when we met you were very much in love with him."
"Were," Kara sighed. "Were, were, were! This conversation is kind of ridiculous."
"It isn't," Addison insisted. "Can you honestly tell me you wouldn't be with him if he and Julie hadn't gotten married?"
"Um, newsflash, babe," Kara said. "They aren't together anymore and I'm still not with Alex. In fact, I turned him down last Fall when he wanted to try again because I knew he was still in love with..."
She trailed off as Addison's eyebrows went up.
"Forget I said any of that," Kara said, nervously grabbing a glass in front of her and forcing a smile. She took a sip before putting the cup down and saying, "Wait, this isn't my seat and that's not mine."
"Yeah, that's Rylan's," said Addison, getting up. "And it's nice to know I was just the second choice when your true love was in love with someone else. Oh wait, but then there was John and he had Marley, so I guess I'm your third choice. And according to my hotness ranking I'd be..." She thought about it and did the math on the table numbers. "...like, choice number thirty-one or thirty-three of just the women here. Isn't that fantastic?"
She stormed off and Kara groaned, stomping her foot down. "Women, jeez," she rolled her eyes, looking around for something to do while her girlfriend came to her senses.
***
WOMEN'S RESTROOM
"I swear, by the end of the night I am gonna slap a bitch," said Carly, who was adjusting her makeup in the mirror when Santana walked in.
"Oh Francesca's always been trouble," Santana sighed, primping at the sink next to her. "I don't know why Brit invited her but I guess she wanted to reach out to everyone with a fat wallet."
Carly shook her head and said, "The worst part is that I was trying to get Damian to talk so we could figure out how to handle this. I mean, the models are so getting out of line with the things they've been saying about the rap community."
"I did see some of that," Santana nodded.
"And it affects Damian," Carly continued. "He's the highest paid rapper on the planet right now. And he's good friends with two of the highest paid models. Mandy, who right now is the only model I care for. And also that idiot Everett, the one who was trash talking me on Twitter. He could easily tell his little buddy to back down and force him to see how offensive he was, but no. Damian doesn't care about the community. He just cares about benefiting from it. He'd rather stay out of conflict. It's disappointing that TJ Gibbs intervened and Damian didn't."
"Men are the worst," Santana shrugged, surprised at how well she was getting along with Carly. "But trust me when I say you don't wanna go picking fights with Francesca. She may seem like a frail Barbie doll you can just easily flick off your shoulder but she's powerful. She's friends with powerful people, like Tracy, whose family now owns half of country radio. And her own mother is a famous actress with a lot of sway in Hollywood. You could end up blacklisted from the Met Gala and the Oscars and Fashion Week and the like by pissing them off."
"And no one gets tired of that?" asked Carly, turning to her. "Of having to put up with such a vicious person and her getting away with everything because of who's around to protect her? Nobody's tried to take her down."
"Well, Alex has," said Santana. "For a while he put a big dent in her reputation and we were rid of her a while but she made her big comeback and recovered. Hollywood's messy like that."
"The music industry is a powerful part of it, though," Carly shook her head. "See, if Damian lifted a finger, he could be the one that flicks her off. But he can't be bothered. And you know what he said to me? He said that I should find a guy at this party not afraid of what diseases I may give him. I'm clean. It's just cause I was a stripper guys think they can say stuff like that to me."
"That's so annoying," Santana shook her head. "Like I said, men are the worst."
"I need to put Damian in his place," said Carly, thinking about it for a moment. "He's the one who always has the groupies all over him but then has the nerve to imply I'm some type of slut... Maybe he needs to be called out."
"What?" said Santana. "You know what, I don't even need to know the details. I'm always done for embarrassing men. How can I help?"