The next morning, Loganel was reminded of his missing arm once again. He had wanted to use both arms to reach for the bed sheet to drag it up so that he could be protected from the cold temperature of the morning. However, he realized that no matter how long he had waited, his left arm would never raise. That was when all hints of drowsiness escaped his mind, leaving him in a gloomy state as he laid there on his bed.
After a few minutes, and with a depressed sigh, Loganel forced himself up from his bed and got dressed in warm clothing, shivering as he put on his clothes. He discovered that it was quite difficult for him to do so, He struggled with bringing a warm sweater over his head with only one hand, and was frustrated by how difficult such a simple task had become for him.
"God damn this..." he cursed under his breath as he continued the struggle.
He continued to struggle with his clothing, and as time passed by quickly and still no signs of progress was in sight, Loganel, out of anger and frustration, threw the sweater against the wall and sat back down on his bed. He no longer felt cold due to the amount of heat that his earlier struggle had produced. However, after the physical discomfort had left him, it was immediately replaced by a mental strain.
Then, Loganel heard a gentle knock on his door.
"You need some help?" Mistivera asked from the other side of the door.
"Yeah..." Loganel replied with a bitter sigh.
Mistivera opened the door to Loganel's room, revealing her already dressed body to him. She was dressed in the same clothing as the day before, which was a warm coat as well as a skirt with stockings to protect her legs from the frost. She took a few steps into the room, looked around and allowed her gaze to remain concentrated on the sweater that Loganel had thrown earlier.
"Did I wake you up?" Loganel asked as he glanced over at the sweater that Mistivera was observing.
The response that he received was a gentle shook of her head. "No. I was already awake."
She walked over to the sweater that rested on the floor, picked it up, and dusted it off. As she did so, Loganel observed her movements, feeling rare warmth in his mind at this display of kindness.
"Raise your arm up," she said in a soft, gentle voice to Loganel after she walked over to the bed, knelt down slightly so that she could help Loganel put on the sweater.
In her eyes, Loganel could see that there appeared to be hints of sadness and nostalgia as she stared at his face.
The person that she sees right now, the person that is reflected in her iris, that isn't me, Loganel thought, feeling a hint of sadness. It is him, Iliad.
Maybe it was because of the Succubus blood in her, but Loganel felt an odd sense of attraction to her. He concluded that it was the alluring effect that Succubi have on males. However, this did not make his heart beat any slower.
As she got closer to him, his nose could pick up the pleasant scent of her hair as well as her body. It wasn't a strong smell, but rather one that was soft and gentle. She was like a flower that grew in the depths of the abyss, so beautiful yet so dangerous...
"T-thank you," Loganel muttered as he allowed Mistivera to put on his sweater for him. He blushed as she then proceeded to adjust the collar and buttoning the top few buttons so that warmth does not escape from him that easily.
"So um...did you sleep well?" Loganel asked, trying to break the ice.
"I slept fine," Mistivera responded as she took a few steps back from Loganel and stood there, observing him.
"So what're your plans for today?"
"Try and find the required materials to regenerate your arm," she frowned. "Which will take a while..."
"They're that hard to find?"
"Right," she sighed. "What about you?"
"I..." Loganel glanced over towards the ground. "I don't know. I have nowhere to go and nothing to do..."
Mistivera stared at Loganel's gloomy face as he spoke and observed him. "You still remember the outline of the plans I told you about yesterday?"
"Yeah," Loganel nodded.
"You should start working on that."
"There's a slight problem with that," Loganel nervously scratched his cheek gently with his right hand.
"What is it?"
"It's gonna need you to...be around me," Loganel then looked at Mistivera and began explaining. "You see, we will need to make it seem natural that we're getting married. Therefore, it would be best if we spend more time together in public so that people would know."
"That is a valid reasoning," Mistivera crossed her arms. "Alright then. Once I finished ordering the materials from my sources, we will start with that part of the plan." She nodded and then glanced over at Loganel. "As for the next few hours until I return, you may do whatever you wish."
Loganel nodded in response in order to tell her that he understood her commands. He then saw Mistivera to the door as she started on her brief journey.
"Now what do I do?"
Loganel sighed and allowed his body to fall onto the couch. He could hear the meowing of Mazriel as the cat entered the living room.
"Mazriel, where were you?" Loganel reached a hand over to scratch the cat's head. He smiled nostalgically as he recalled how his cat would always hide when introduced to strangers.
After petting his cat and allowing it to hop onto the couch and onto his chest, Loganel heard the sound of a knock on the door. About an hour has passed since Mistivera had left so Loganel believed that it might be her returning. However, when he opened the door, he was surprised to see Kaz and Marilin.
"Hey," Kaz said, forcing a smile but lacked the confidence to do so when he saw the stump on Loganel's left arm.
"We wanted to stop by," Marilin explained, "to thank you for saving us."
She nervously glanced over at Kaz, her eyes communicating a need for aid. However, seeing that Kaz was also not his usual self, she decided to progress the conversation herself.
"Sorry!" She said with a slightly lowered head as she looked apologetically at Loganel.
"If it weren't for us..." Kaz muttered, looking away in shame.
"I don't blame you guys," Loganel smiled in order to alleviate their guilt. "I did it out of my own accord."
"Loganel..." Marilin whispered his name as she stared at him with tears eyes.
"You're really a nice guy," Kaz wiped his tears. "But because of us..."
"It's fine," Loganel waves it off. "It's fine..." His voice trailed off in the end as he too realized that he was lying to himself. However, he maintained that smile on his face so that the two wouldn't feel bad for his loss. "Why're you two here? The party didn't leave the city?"
"Well...everybody is still recovering from that battle," Kaz said as he reached into his pocket and produced a pouch of coins. "This is your part of the cut, as well as Marilin's and mine."
"What?" Loganel exclaimed, pushing the bag of coins away from him. "I can't take that."
"Please!" Kaz insisted as he pushed the coins back. "We've decided on it already. Please take it to alleviate our guilt."
You think this one bag of a few Gold can help alleviate my pain? Loganel thought as he tried his best to conceal his anger. However, when Loganel recovered from the heat of the moment, he realized how corrupt of a thought that was and despised himself for even attempting to lay the blame on Kaz and Marilin. It was his choice to jump out before the two, and he should've known before hand that this job was dangerous. Therefore, Loganel knows that he has no one to blame for his loss except himself.
"No," Loganel said, this time in a serious tone. "I can't accept this."
"But—"
"If you want me to feel better than stop trying to pity me!" Loganel shouted. "Stop trying to make it seem like I'm a cripple, a burden. Please..."
"Loganel..."
"We're sorry!" Marilin burst into tears.
She knows no matter how much apologizing had occurred, nothing will fix the current situation. She knows that no matter how hard they tried to repay Loganel for saving their lives, his arm would never return and that his days as an Adventurer is over. And this was all because of her and Kaz.
"It's fine," Loganel smiled. "In fact, I might be able to get my arm back."
"You don't have to make up such lies to comfort us," Marilin sobbed as she wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hands.
"I'm serious," Loganel said. "I know this healer who has some knowledge in the powerful healing spells of the past."
"..." Kaz and Marilin stared at him with a doubtful look in their eyes. They were reluctant in believing him, mistakening his words as a false lie of comfort. A dark sense of guilt continued to prevail in their eyes, and no longer could they bear to see Loganel like this.
"I'm being serious."
Loganel on the other hand, was genuinely trying to tell them the truth. However, even he realized that the truth was quite absurd, almost like the hallucinations of a drug user. How intoxicated does one have to be to even fathom the idea that one's arm could regenerate? If that is true, then how is that person human anymore?
Deep in the back of his mind, Loganel forced himself to live with the fear. This fear that he's no longer human. Was it Zweilgr? All Loganel knew was that he was no longer what he was prior to that incident a year ago. Slowly, his body has changed. His inability to cast holy spells as well as that sting he feels whenever a holy spell was cast on him made him vaguely aware of his changing condition. However, he didn't want to admit it because who would want to admit that they've become the very thing that society despises? Like an angel falling away from the light, Loganel could no longer see the light as he was too far away from it. But, who said that the dark must be evil?
"I'm being honest right now," Loganel said once again. "That person is real."
"But there's no way," Kaz shook his head.
"...Are you alright, Loganel?" Marilin looked at him with a look of genuine concern. She then brought one hand up to Loganel's forehead and felt his temperature. "You don't have a fever...Is it a mental trauma?"
"Why won't you believe me?" Loganel gently swiped her arm away from him.
"It's just...absurd," Kaz sighed. "It's not some the norm for humanity to believe in miracles."
At that moment, from the corner of Loganel's eye, he saw her return. Her dark scarlet hair moving in the air behind her as she moved, Mistivera walked with a mature elegance. Each step she took brought her pleasant presence closer and closer to Loganel. However, when he glanced over at her, a look of sadness overwhelmed all facial expression, washing away that forced smile. However, that look vanished rapidly, almost as if it had never existed in the first place.
...She's still not looking at me.
The sadness that Loganel felt was from the brief look of nostalgia on Mistivera's face. Each time that she looked at him, it was as if she was looking past him and at a ghost that roamed behind him.
"Who's this?" Mistivera asked, smiling in a kind and gentle manner with a slight tilt of her head as she acted normally.
Author's Note:
AP testing bout to be over. Normal update schedule bout to return!!!!
Please vote and comment if you've enjoyed. Also, please add this book to a reading list and share with friends. If you haven't already, follow me to be the first to be notified of any status updates on my end. Thank you!!!