Valentine's Day Special
Warnings: F e e l s
Author's Notes: Please be noted that I probably wrote this at 2AM with days of very little sleep after being heavily influenced by Tumblr. Forgive me for any part of this context that made you think I was on some deranged crack. Enjoy and read!~
Allen Jones as Your Boyfriend
- Ah yes, our local douchebag and very own captain asshole, where do I even begin?
- He has an unstoppable sailor's mouth
- Alfred doesn't give him access to the bank because they'll be bankrupt from all the shit Allen has to pay to Oliver
- So to make some $$$, Allen is a hireable jackass who can kill anyone for a deserving pric
- He prefers badass assassin, but jackass fits him like a glove
- (Shockingly) He ain't a pure jackass tho
- He only kills those who are worthy of the trip to Hell
- This is the reason why he's well-known around the neighbourhood
- He's a criminal who kills people but also protects the town from corrupt groups
- The police doesn't arrest him because he has ties with someone (cough AlFred), but also because he gives information about gangs that they're after
- Honestly, he has no side but his own
- Allen Jones was an untameable soul
- ,,,ofc that was before he met you
- He's never been so committed to wooing a woman before lmAO
- He's still a little piece of shit,, but lesser and more flirtatious
- He vry loyal to you tho
- A random bitch's gonna come up to him and he's like,, "Are you (Y/N)? You don't look like (Y/N),, You can't touch this booty if you ain't (Y/N),,"
- The girl's like,,, who's (Y/N)???
- "Not you, that's who,"
- Is also lowkey insecure abt himself
- Cuz he knows he's not the best guy around but he loves you v much and he doesn't want to lose you
- And does he tell you this???
- N o
- But you know it,,
- shHHHH don't tell him
- He has a terribly low resistance on getting jealous,,
- Oliver gave you a cupcake and u loved it???
- Oh, he's vry salty
- "Remember the time you gave (Y/N) a cupcake three months ago? No? Well I do,, tRAITOr"
- Eventually,, he apologizes bcuz u found out that he made Ollie cry and u threatened to not give him kisses unless he does so
- Also asks Ollie to teach him the recipe so hE can make it for you himself
- It was beneficial for the both of them,,,
- Allen learned how to bake,,
- Ollie learned how to lengthen his patience,,
- Everyone's happy! yaY
- Anyways,, Allen is basically just an overgrown baby,,,
- He clings to you a lot,,,
- Obviously very into PDA,,,
- he wants evERYONE TO KNOW that he's yours and you're his
- Kisses you out of nowhere,,,
- Says he's 'sorry' and that he 'can't help it'
- Pfffftt, l I e s
- L I E S I say
- Surprisingly tho,, he has a few tricks beneath his sleeves and still manages to make you feel butterflies,
- EvEN IF iT'S BEEN NEARLY F O U R YEARS
- Like he still knows your personal preferences and favorites
- everytime your lower region blood war ensues, he's ready to serve you, even if you might end up temporarily killing him,,,
- "I'm sorry I stabbed you,," -You, at some point
- "Its okay,, doesn't hurt,," he denies, clutching his bloody foot
- And then he gets it patched up, making up an excuse to the doctor and saying that he dropped his knife while cooking,, something edible,,,,
- Definitely the type to let you wear his much more comfortable shoes when your feet hurt from wearing heels at work, even if he'll have to walk barefoot or heeled lMao
- But I deeply hope that you have a secret stash of holy water with you,,,
- This boi is a walking s I N
- Jkjk,,
- You both are ;)))
- Neighbours be piling up complains against you two,,
- like "what do you do night?! I nearLY THOUGHT there was a MUrdER going on!!!"
- "Why is it so daMN L O U D?!"
- "Kids these days are so reckless,, have they no shame?"
- But poor them, bc Allen knows how to sway the landlady every time to let you two stay
- And e V E R Y O N E just kNOWS when it's late at night and something begins to echo against the walls,,,
- "fucking Jones,," they all grumble, while searching for earplugs LMaO
- So yea,, let us not dwell upon your endless sins, God himself will descend from heaven and deal with you two AHahAHAHem
- He's always so greasy too,,, like,,, random pickup lines out of nowhere,,,
- "Haha, I'm a piece of trash,," you say, munching on chips
- "Well, I'm concerned about the environment, doll. I gotta pick you up,," he spurts out of nowhere with a smug grin
- Cue you choking on chips before staring at him,,
- "bOi,, that was smooth and all,, but we're together already. You should have used that the first time we met instead of that boyfriend material crap,,"
- Shoots fired and Allen loses with a wounded pride
- wHICH only you can do, it seems,,,
- No matter the times you hurt his pride,, Allen still loves you
- In fact, he always does shit for you bc he loves you
- Again,,, Period is murdering your walls and you need pads real quick????
- Pfft,, what reputation???
- Allen runs stRAIGht to the nearest store,,
- Anyways,,, yea
- Time spent with Allen is a moment filled with love because he'll make sure you'll still be his no matter what