About an hour into my drive home, I thought I would give Roman a call just to check on him. I knew he wasn't doing well. I could tell by his body language and facial expressions that I probably crushed his whole world. So I felt it was only right that I check on him.
He answers sounding irritated, "Yeah?"
"Is that how you answer the phone?" I say trying to be funny.
Sounding more irritated, "What's up Gia! Why are you calling? Did you forget something?"
"No, I was just calling to check on you. I know you're hurt about the outcome but I still care about you, I just want to make sure you're good." I say honestly
"Yeah, I'm good. Is there anything else?"
"Are you mad at me?" I asked hoping the answer was no but she knew the answer was really yes.
"No, I'm not mad at you."
"Joe you forget we spent 2 years together. I know you very well and I can tell something is wrong with you and I'm sure you're still upset about the conversation we had. I'm trying to call you to smooth things over."
Getting angry, "Gia why? You don't care, you've made that clear to me and I get it now."
"If I did not care I would not have called you nor would I have drove almost and his and a half just to have a 15 minute conversation with you. Stop being like that and talk to me."
He snaps, "Fine, I'll talk to you, the conversation didn't change anything. I still want you and you coming here just made me want you even more. You said you'd come back, getting married wasn't the plan."
Just then I think back to the conversation Joe and I had before I left in New Orleans.
*****Flashback*****
There was a knock on my door. I knew it was Gia so I just opened without looking first. "Hey." she says sounding nervous. "I just wanted to come by and say goodbye and-"
I cut her off with a kiss on the lips, "I really don't want to talk." I pick her up and take her to the bed.
She pulls me down on top of her, "Just give me some time to work things out. I'm going to come back to you."
"I don't care if it takes years, I'll be here waiting on you." I take a minute to admire her beauty one last time then I kiss her again. This time with more passion and more intense.
Looking into her eyes, "I don't know how i'm supposed to let you go. I don't know if I cant let you walk away from me again."
She smiles, "I don't want you to. Just be in this moment, right now." She kisses me on the lips, "Don't think, just be right here with me."
I couldn't help that I was having second thoughts about letting her go be with Orton. It was like I was seeing her for the first time and I was falling in love with her all over again. I knew if I let her leave I wasn't going to see her again but I knew she had already made up her mind and I helped her, I pushed her to that decision. All I could do was be in the moment and remember all the memories we had, good and bad especially this one.
I leaned down, closed my eyes and kissed her. I took my time with her, I didn't rush anything. I wanted the last time we were intimate to be perfect.
*****End of Flashback*****
I sigh, "I didn't expect for this to happen either Joe but I don't know what you want me to do."
"Leave him." He yells
"I can't do that."
He sounded like he was try to keep from crying. He was very emotional and his voice was cracking, "You have my heart. What am I supposed to do?"
I sigh again, "I don't know." I get an overwhelming feeling of emotions and I break down, "This is so messed up. If I could change things we would be together. I love you so much and it kills me that you're hurting like this and it's because of me."
Sniffing and talking calmly, "Gia I don't want you to cry, I didn't mean to upset you but I know I have your heart. You can pretend I don't but we both know the truth. You may love him but you don't love him as much as you love me and you never will. Once you realize that, I'll be waiting for you."
"Roman why don't you just focus on Lindsay. From what I hear she's a nice girl and she really likes you, maybe you should give that a try. I know it may not be exactly what you want but you never know. You can end up falling in love with her and she could turn out to be the love of your life."
He snaps, "I don't care about her, I want you. I need you in my life. Gia you know this isn't even in my character hope I'm acting right now. I'm not one to get all super emotional but you just don't understand how I feel about you."
"No I get it. And in this conversation its really messing me up too. I know I've made a mess of things but Joe I really need you to understand Randy and I are engaged now. I can be your friend and whenever you need to talk I'll be there to listen but anything romantically will not happen again."
Yelling, "I don't want to be your fucking friend. We're supposed to be together you're supposed to be with me. We were supposed to get married and start a family."
"Roman if it makes you feel better, I want you to be in my life as well. But right now with how things went last week I think it's better that we didn't talk for a while. I'm not even supposed to be talking to you right now. If Randy finds out about this things can turn out very badly."
Yelling, "Gia I don't give a fuck about Randy. He's the reason we're in the mess. He's a snake and a liar and you shouldn't be with him."
I see Randy calling on the other line, "Joe I have to go."
Talking calmly, "Wait, I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just don't see how this happened. We were happy together."
"Joe, I have to go. Randy is calling me."
"Okay but just think about it. Think about what you need and remember I have your heart." He says
I don't say anything I just answer Randy's call. "Hey."
"What's wrong?" He asks
"Nothing, I just miss you. I'm okay."
"Are you sure? Hang up and FaceTime." He says sounding concerned.
I pull over and try to pull together then i FaceTime him. Putting in a fake smile, "Hey baby."
"I needed to see your face. Now what's wrong?"
"Nothing I'm just missing you. I'm okay babe, really."
"Are you sure you look like you were crying." He says
"No, I'm okay. I'm just driving home from the store. I'll call you when I get home."
"Okay Gia, I love you. You know that right?" He asks
"Yes Randy, I know."
"Do you want to come out to be with me? I know you're not fine." He asks
"No I'm fine. I'm just going to go home and go to bed."
"Alright, I love you."
"I love you too Randy." I hang up and continued my drive home.
I got a text from Joe asking me to send him a picture. He used to do that all the time when we were together and when he was on the road. I smiled thinking about the old times but I couldn't let it affect me. I went into my photos and sent him a picture. He wanted me to take one now but I was crying and everything..I just thought this was a better idea.
The conversation Roman and I had brought up a lot of feelings that I forgot I had and didn't really want to face. It was overwhelming the feeling I got when he said he has my heart. I didn't know Roman was holding on to those words I said to him the last time we were together. I told him I would come back to him and I really didn't think that he really meant he would wait for me. I just wanted to get home, get a drink and go to sleep and forget this day ever happened. I thought I was going to clear the air but all it did was make matters worse and more confusing for the both of us.
What do y'all think about this chapter?
What do you think Gia should do??