author's note:
i suggest listening to the song Surrender by Natalie Taylor (MICHAEL AND JANE FEELS FOR YEARS TO COME) to get the feels of this chapter lol hope you all enjoy ;D
-J
chapter:
"How you feeling?" Lydia asked Savannah, knocking on her open bedroom door to see Savannah staring at her homecoming dress that was hanging by her mirror.
Savannah stayed quiet at first, sighing. She shrugged her shoulders, picking up her dress and setting it down on her bed before turning to Lydia. "I don't know..It's been two days and I said yes to Theo about Homecoming..because Stiles hasn't said two words to me since our little fight. I don't know, I think I ruined my chance with him."
"If there's one thing I'm sure of..it's that you haven't ruined your chances. He loves you. he'll always love you. And Derek was right, there's never going to be a perfect moment to tell him how you feel. You just need to roll the dice and take a chance. You need to stop being afraid." Lydia offered the advice to her best friend, giving her a side hug.
Savannah smiled, thanking Lydia. "Thanks..I just-..I don't know what to do. Maybe it's nostalgia or something else. I just-..I'm just waiting for a better moment. But let's forget all this sad talk right now and start getting ready for the dance. Help me with my hair?" Savannah asked Lydia, a small smile on her face.
Lydia let out a laugh, hugging her from behind. "I thought you'd never ask..Your dress is beautiful by the way. It matches your eyes." Savannah thanked Lydia, hugging her back for a couple of seconds and blocking everything else out. Savannah was grateful she had someone like Lydia, as one of her best friends.
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Savannah stared at her reflection in the mirror, admiring her dress and makeup and hair that Lydia helped her with. She smiled lightly, mentally thanking Lydia and noting how it was amazing how Lydia could do it all. She truly was crushing girly girl stereotypes. Suddenly, her thoughts were broken when her phone was going off, indicating she had just received a text message. Savannah walked over to her bed to see that Theo had texted her.
Theo texted her how he couldn't wait to see how, noting that she was probably going to look even more beautiful in her dress if that was even possible. Savannah laughed, shaking her head at Theo's words. He was a cheeky one. Savannah thought Theo would pick her up, like they do in the movies and all that but Theo said he would meet her at the dance. He said how he needed to pick something up for her and to save him a dance.
Savannah might have been mad..if anything for the fact that she had something she wanted to do first. She had been thinking about it for the past couple of days and words and advice setting in.. maybe have a chance to do something first..something she's been wanting to do and frankly, needs to.
Lydia and Savannah arrived at the dance, it already getting in motion. The two best friends took a picture together, laughing and dancing with each other before they heard their names being called. Savannah turned, suddenly feeling out of breath as she watched Stiles approach the two of them. The sight of him took her breath away, it was like something out of a book or movie.
"Hey. You guys look beautiful." Stiles complimented the two girls.
"Stiles, you clean up nice." Lydia smirked, nudging Savannah in the arm.
Savannah awkwardly coughed, nodding her head in agreement. "Y-yeah..You look good." Savannah smiled softly, feeling her face turning red from the side looks Lydia was giving her. She mentally prayed Lydia wouldn't leave her alone.
Annnnnd her prayers were ignored.
"Well I am going to go powder my nose, you two..talk or dance among each other." Lydia said quickly, leaving before Savannah could protest. Savannah sighed, feeling a bit awkward. Her and Stiles hadn't talked to each other since their little "fight" if you could even call it that. Everything they said to each other was true; they weren't together so Stiles couldn't be jealous but that doesn't change the fact that those two are always going to want each other.
After all; what's that saying? You can't be just friends with someone you're in love with.
Savannah knows she feels something more for him, more than friendship, something she's never felt with anyone else before and frankly doesn't want to feel. But after she died, she knows, well can at least guess how hard it was for him. He grieved, struggled, and among all the pain and darkness.. he somehow managed to pull himself together even a little bit and try moving on. Even if she doesn't like Malia all that much, Savannah couldn't ignore the fact that Malia on some level, brought Stiles a bit of happiness.
And for Savannah; his happiness was her happiness.
She doesn't want to ruin that for him, with Malia or anyone else.
"You look absolutely beautiful tonight..well all the time really but.." Stiles coughed, breaking Savannah from her thoughts. She felt her face heating up as she nodded her head slightly, thanking him. There was an awkward silence between the two, only the sounds of other students and the light music playing in the background.
"We let the waters rise, we drifted to survive
I needed you to stay but I let you drift away.."
Then the song changed, it slowed down quite a bit. Savannah knew the melody that was playing as she recognized it as one of her favorite songs. Savannah was messing with her hands, feeling the awkwardness between them as silence was filling all around them. Even with the sounds, it still felt silent. At least until Stiles broke it up.
"Wanna dance?" Stiles asked, smiling over at Savannah while offering his hand for her to take. "Come on, I know it's one of your favorite songs..Besides you promised to save me one dance." Savannah thought about it for a second, naming all the reasons it would be a bad idea. But she couldn't stop herself from nodding her head and lightly grabbing his hand in her's. Savannah wrapped her arms around Stiles, him keeping one interlocked in her's while the other rested on her waist.
They were swaying back and forth to the song, and everything seemed simple. It was almost like everything that was happening in their lives wasn't anymore. Savannah had her head rested against Stiles chest, just listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It was a bit high but steady at the same time. It calmed her down, it kept her head on straight and it was instantly her favorite sound in the entire world.
"No one will win this time, I just want you back.
I'm running to your side, flying my white flag.
My love where are you? My love where are you?"
Suddenly, all the questions Savannah had in her mind and have been asking for maybe a while now, were answered when she looked up at Stiles. Stiles looked down to meet her gaze, offering her a half smile while the pair continued to rock back and forth to the rhythm of the song. Looking in his eyes, every question and doubt she ever had was answered. She knew it now.. Looking into Stiles eyes, it felt and looked like coming home.
It was like this entire time she was lost, wandering around for something she didn't know she needed so badly. Like she was following all the maps that would lead her down that road, that would lead her to Beacon Hills. That would lead her to Stiles. Savannah never had a home, just houses and places she'd lay her head at night but then she met Stiles and..I don't know. It seemed like she suddenly knew that with him, with everyone in Beacon Hills is where she was meant to be. Call it a coincidence or fate or destiny, but I don't know it was a mere accident that Savannah met Stiles when she needed to the most.
She never had a true place to call home, no where she felt at peace with herself, until Beacon Hills. With Scott, Lydia, Stiles, and the others..she feels like she finally found her place in the world, like she's done being lost. It was like she was lost the entire time she walked the earth but meeting them, especially Stiles, it was like she found her way to who she really is meant to be. It was like she was born very far from where she was meant to be but now..she's on her way home.
And she owes a big thanks to Stiles for it. Because if she hadn't of came to Beacon Hills, if she hadn't of fallen in love with him..she doesn't know where she'd end up. But from the moment she first laid eyes on him..it was like everything was falling into place. Like the universe had some grand master plan for her.
But falling for Stiles it wasn't falling at all, not really. It was like walking into a house and suddenly knowing you're home. Looking into Stiles eyes, it felt and looked like coming home. He'd given her heart a home she didn't know it needed. And even without their memories, she still somehow managed to fall in love with him, defy the horrible odds the universe threw at them. Even if all the signs were pointing at them to stay apart, they somehow always managed to find their way back to each other.
And Savannah regrets none of it. She could never regret anything that lead to her meeting Stiles and the others. She couldn't imagine a world or version of her life without a Stiles Stilinski in it.
"Whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready.
Whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready. Can we, can we, Surrender. Can we, can we, Surrender.I Surrender."
"So this i-..." Stiles began saying until Savannah suddenly interrupted him by blurting something out. Something Stiles had been waiting to hear for the longest time now. Something he didn't think could happen.. yet here it was.
"..-I love you." Savannah's eyes widen as she felt out of breath after blurting out that sentence. It was the thing she wanted to say, for a while now. Up until this moment, she had been terrified of saying it but she was done being scared. With the way things are going in their lives, she didn't want to die..again.. without telling Stiles. She didn't want to have any regrets.
And now? She was brave enough to say it.. to admit it.
Stiles looked completely shocked, unsure of what to say. He tilted his head to the side a bit, the two of them still dancing, as Stiles asked Savannah what she meant. "W-what..?" Stiles stuttered out.
"I-..I me-..I mean.." Savannah stuttered, trying to think of something to say. She thought about lying? Maybe saying it was a head injury from falling in her heels earlier? She thought of a million excuses to say he heard her wrong but then..She thought about how she didn't want to lie anymore. She was done finding excuses. She was going to tell the truth this time.
Savannah just stared up at Stiles, into his eyes, while a small smile formed on her face. She felt tears forming in her eyes as she slowly nodded her head, smiling at him. "I-..I love you." Savannah repeated slowly, quietly while her eyes glanced from Stiles eyes to his lips and back again. "I-..I've been afraid of saying it until just now. But just dancing with you, listening to the lyrics of the song and the feeling in my chest when I looked at you and into your eyes..It's just dancing with you made me realize something..I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you but there's never gonna be a right moment or a better time to say it. And with everything going on in our lives, I don't want to die without making sure you know how I really feel.."
"Last year when you asked me if I still had feelings for you someway or if I loved you..I lied. I lied because I was scared and upset and there were a lot of things holding me back. You said you would wait for me until I was ready for you, and there were a lot of things holding me back but I'm ready. I'm ready now. I love you, Stiles M. Stilinski and I'm done being afraid. I'm not afraid anymore. Of you, of myself, of a real chance at happiness..I'm ready to move forward from my past and start making real plans for the future..with you. There's no version of a future I can imagine that doesn't have you in it. I love you, in any reality, shape or form, universe, with or without memories, I will always find my way to you and fall in love with you...despite thinking it was impossible." Savannah let out a sharp breath, feeling the tears in her eyes but she managed to keep them in her eyes. She just stared at Stiles, a small smile on her face as she admired him.
he truly was a beautiful sight.
Stiles was completely speechless, afraid that what was happening was a dream. He was afraid he'd blink or wake up and none of this would be real. Stiles couldn't help but smile to himself, biting his bottom lip as his mind wandered back to the winter formal sophomore year. It was the first time him and Savannah went out, danced together and it was the night he confessed his true feelings for her. Three years ago underneath the lights Stiles confessed his love for Savannah, and now? Here they were under the same lights, in the same place but with her confessing her feelings now.
It was like things were coming full circle.
"Sava..-" Stiles began saying but that's when Savannah cut him off again. It was like once she started confessing how she truly felt, she couldn't stop.
"I-..I was getting ready for the dance when Theo texted me saying he couldn't wait to see me or dance with me. And I know-..I know I should have immediately thought of him and being with him or sharing this one moment of relative peace with him since we're kind of together in a sense but..-but all I could think about was you. H-..how you're the one person I want to dance all my danced with, how I want to spend every moment with you, any moment, good or bad. I-..you and I are throwing away so much like we always have apparently, according to Scott and Lydia. I am throwing away so much like I always have. We should be together. I think you're the love of my life and it's stupid of me to keep pretending otherwise. I love you. I want to be with you, for real, forever, in any shape or form. I want to be with you and I'm done pretending..I-..I just love you and want to start spending the rest of my life with you... It's as simple as that."
Stiles remained speechless, unsure of what to say or do. He saw the words in his head but it was like he couldn't form them. It seemed like hours passed and Stiles still hadn't said anything. That's when the worry started setting in for Savannah, she was worried she just made a mistake.
"Please say something. Tell me I'm not crazy and you still feel the same for me. If you somehow, someway by some miracle feel the same for me as I do you and want to be with me..despite everything that's happened and despite all the bullshit I've put you through..we can be together. For real this time, there's nothing holding us back anymore..Nothing holding me back. If you want to be with me and still feel the same despite everything I've done..I vow to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you because you are the one person I want to be with..the one person I picture a future with. All that matters is your answer. It's that simple."
Savannah stared at Stiles, patiently waiting for his answer. Stiles nodded his head, opening his mouth to say something but that's when they were interrupted. They heard two voices calling their names, making them turn to see Malia and Theo walking up to them. Savannah quickly pulled away from Stiles, Malia running up to Stiles to pull him into a kiss. Stiles closed his eyes, pulling away to see the hurt and saddened look on Savannah's face at the sight of him and Malia.
But Savannah wasn't angry, this is just a smudge of what he must have felt when it came to her and Isaac, or her and Derek. Savannah forced a smile on her face, turning to look at Theo. Theo smiled wide at her, complimenting her as she placed a small kiss on his cheek.
"You look beautiful." Theo gushed at Savannah, taking her hand to twirl her a little bit. Savannah blushed, smirking slightly as she tried hiding her hurt expression. She nodded her head, thanking Theo before noticing something in his hands. She questioned what it was, laughing only slightly when he lightly tied it around her wrist. "Lucky me, Lydia told me the color of your dress so I'd get the right ribbon color." Theo commented.
Savannah thanked him, Theo placing a small but quick kiss on her lips. Theo asked her to dance to which Savannah stayed quiet at first. "I-..umm I want to but there's something i needed to tell Stiles first." Savannah tried saying.
"No, it's fine..We-..ummm..we can talk later." Stiles coughed, nodding his head.
She glanced towards Stiles for a couple of seconds before turning back to Theo, nodding her head. Theo smiled, taking her hand and leading them away from Stiles and Malia. Savannah sighed to herself, taking one last look at him before leaving with Theo.
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After dancing most of their calories off, Savannah and Theo stepped outside for some air. Theo offered her his coat, lightly placing it around her shoulders. She thanked him, staring up at the stars that filled the night sky, getting completely lost in her thoughts.
"Ummm, I got you something." Theo broke the silence, digging into his pockets before pulling something out and placing it into Savannah's palms.
She looked at him confused at first, opening her hands to see Theo placed a necklace in them. She held it up close to look at it better, seeing the red gem stone from it. As she stared at it, it was like she could hear this..sound. Voices. It was enchanting, like it was calling to her, getting into her mind. As she stared at it, Theo had a smirk on his face. But it fell quickly as Savannah quickly handed the necklace back to him.
"I'm sorry, Theo. But my choice still stands..I-..I can't accept this." Savannah quickly apologized. Theo looked surprised, sure this would have worked. It should have worked. "Besides, I already have a necklace that's my favorite. Someone special to me gave it to me..And I haven't taken it off since and I don't plan to...So maybe take it back and hopefully get a refund?" Savannah said, twirling the necklace Derek gave her last year with a small smile on her face.
Theo was a bit pissed, the necklace should have worked. She should have accepted it and then it would be easier to control..get inside her head. It was all apart of his master plan but he never accounted on her not accepting it. Girls liked jewelry, right? She should have accepted it. Unfortunately for him, the necklace Derek gave her became her favorite and like she said..she hadn't taken it off since he had given it to her. And she doesn't plan to.
Even if Theo didn't think that Savannah wouldn't accept the necklace with the red gem stone in it..that didn't mean he didn't have a plan B.
"I had a feeling this might happen..which is why I also got this..hopefully you accept this." Theo said, digging through his pocket to get something else out. Theo handed something else to Savannah, praying this would work.
"Oh my go-.." Savannah said, gasping as she admired the beautiful bracelet Theo had got it. It was a bronze/gold color with a twisting vine design. And there was the same red gem stone on it like the necklace.
Savannah was staring at the bracelet, feeling something calling to her. It was weird, she couldn't explain it. Theo grabbed the bracelet from her hands, putting it around her wrist. "Say you'll accept this bracelet at least?" Theo asked, a small smirk on his face while Savannah nodded her head without thinking. She doesn't know why but she listened to Theo. "It looks beautiful on you..never take it off." Theo smirked.
"I'll never take it off..thanks." Savannah said slowly, smiling before giving Theo a hug. Theo smirked as he hugged her back. She laughed, pulling away to bring him into a kiss. She smirked through the kiss, leaning back to look at Theo's face. But that's when she noticed something else. "What's wrong?" She asked.
"Nothing..I just..Will you do something for me?" Theo asked.
"Of course. Anything you want.." Savannah said, mentally kicking herself for being this cooperative. She should question it more but she couldn't at the minute. But she somehow knew it was going to end badly.
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/////////////F-L-A-S-H--B-A-C-K///////////////////
Stiles and Scott kept staring at Savannah in heartbreak. She was crying in pain, holding her head as she kneeled down on the floor within the protection circle they used to summon her.
"This isn't real. This isn't real." Savannah started crying, squeezing her eyes shut as she kept her hands on her head. She felt like someone was cracking open her skull, hearing drilling sounds and voices of all her victims. This wasn't real, this was a trick like every other time. She refused to keep falling for these petty things that she was seeing in purgatory, none of it was real.
At least until Stiles spoke up.
Stiles walked over to her protection circle, trying to embrace her but he was stopped by the magical force field. He looked concerned, wanting nothing more than to feel her touch, be able to hold and kiss her. He slowly put his hand up, just staring at her. "Savannah, look at me..Look at me." Stiles said, Savannah slowly looking over at him through her blurry vision. "It's okay..you're gonna be okay. I'm gonna bring you back, you're gonna be okay.."
"You're not real..this is another trick..this isn't real.." Savannah kept whispering, shaking her head.
"Yes it is real. Look at me, look into my eyes..this is real. I love you, this is real.." Stiles said, but Savannah still wasn't convinced. He had to think of something for her to believe him, something only he would know. And then it dawned on him. He knew exactly what to say.
"Okay if I wasn't real, would I know this.. When we were driving to go find your mom earlier this year..you asked me if you said anything during the car ride but I said no, telling you that you fell asleep..You didn't. I remember every word and I meant every word..I love you, I'll always love you..so please, please believe me when I tell you..this is real."
Savannah let out a sigh of relief, feeling completely relaxed when she knew in her heart that this was real. There was one thing that purgatory could never get right. The color of Stiles eyes. They were always just a little bit different. They didn't have that certain sparkle that made Savannah feel like she was getting lost at sea whenever she looked into them. "St-..Stiles? W-..what did you do?" Savannah asked, her voice cracking as she put her hand up against Stiles. She wanted nothing more too than to feel his touch.
"I'm bringing you back..soon. We're so close to finding a way." Stiles smiled, feeling his entire world finally getting light back in.
Savannah's face fell, slowly shaking her head. "N-..no. Y-..you can't do this."
"What? Why? I-I am so close to getting you back. You won't have to suffer anymore.." Stiles said, seeming confused as to why Savannah would ever not want him to try to get her back.
Savannah shook her head. "I appreciate you getting me out of supernatural purgatory but..you can't do this. I-I deserve to be there for everything bad i ever did." Savannah sighed, shaking her head again while running a hand through her hair. "No, no, no..You were supposed to let me go...I-I sacrificed myself for you, you were supposed to be happy, move on..I-..I told Derek to give you a message..I-..he..-..Derek said he'd look after you for me..You were supposed to be okay, you were supposed to let me go and move on.." Savannah cried, shaking her head when she knew what stiles was doing. That he was going to pay the price of bring her back. "I've had my fare share of second chances, I should be dead..I am dead..I need to remain this way."
"letting go was never an option. "Stiles argued.
"Stiles, you can't. I'm not worth the price you'll have to pay.." Savannah said, her voice sounding tired, drained.
"I am bringing you back." Stiles simply stated, not listening to anything Savannah was saying.
"No, you can't. I'm not worth the price you'll have to pay for me to come back. I'll be fine as long as I know you will be..You have a bright future ahead of you, a life you need to live..-" Savannah began saying until Stiles interrupted her.
"I'll live that life and future with you. I-I..I don't want to live in a world that doesn't have you in it." Stiles said, his voice breaking as he wiped the tears away from his eyes.
"You need to figure out a way..for both of us, you need to live." Savannah begged Stiles.
"There is no life without you..I almost died the day I lost you. I promised that I'd fix this and I am finally one step closer to bringing you back. I'll never stop looking until the moment my heart stops."
Savannah felt her breath get caught in her throat, tears streaming down her face as she slowly shook her head. "I love you..so much. I love you, I love you, I've always loved you and I'll always love you..I'm sorry it took me so long to catch up, I just lost my way and I was scared..But I'm done being scared, okay. I love you, Stiles Stilinski more than anything in the entire world..and if there's one thing I learned throughout my life..it's that loving someone means putting their needs before your own.. I am putting your needs before mine and I need you to do the same..Put my need for you to stay safe and live a long happy life above your need to get me back..I can't let you ruin your life over me. I do not want you looking for ways to bring me back. Just go live your life, be happy.."
"Bu-..But I love you." Stiles said, confused as to why Savannah was trying to get him to stop.
"If you love me..find a way to move on and be happy.." Savannah begged Stiles. After a few moments of silence, Savannah sighed. "I-umm..there's something I need to talk with Scott about..Can you give us a few moments?" Savannah asked Stiles, Scott with a confused look on his face. Stiles tried arguing at first but she insisted it would be fast.
Authors note:
So many FEELS I die every time,. I love the parallels to the first book. First time they were at homecoming, dancing underneath the lights at the school..It was Stiles who admitted his love for Savannah. Now it was her turn. I cry there's so many feels.
Till next time, hope you enjoyed this chapter there's gonna be a lot of feels coming up and the truth behind her Resurrection will finally be revealed
stay golden;
-J