Requested by DemWeasleysDoe.
Young Remus x Deaf! Reader
You walk through the Courtyard for the third time that day. You've been trying to find ways to distract yourself in every way you can think of but to no avail. Your deep, depressing thoughts keep trying to take control. Normally you're an upbeat person, but every once in a while, you experience melancholy.
You watch as people laugh and talk to their friends although you cannot hear them. It doesn't bother you that you have this health condition. Really, there are worse ones to have. But you've read about the beautiful sound of laughter, how a voice is as unique as someone's handwriting, and the inspiring noise that is music. You've read of the sound of heart-breaking sobs, of someone's voice so broken that they can hardly speak, and of sad, hard songs. You've read or have been told through sign language about all of these sounds that provoke great amounts of emotion and can't help but feel left out.
You try to conquer these useless feelings but the task seems impossible. You give up on trying to distract yourself and head back to your Common Room. As you round a corner, you accidentally walk into someone. Your hands grip the stranger's chest to try to prevent yourself from falling. You look up from the sweater-clad chest to see Remus Lupin's chocolate gaze. He steps back from you and lifts his hands to speak to you.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I wasn't watching where I was going."
You give him a small smile.
"It's quite alright, Remus. No harm, no foul."
"I haven't seen you since breakfast this morning. What have you been doing all day?"
"Dealing with things way past my maturity level."
He furrows his brows together.
"What do you mean?"
You shake your head.
"Nevermind. Forget I said anything."
"No, Y/N. Look, if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you."
"I'm sure you're a great listener, but I'm not. There lies the issue."
His eyes widen slightly.
'Oh finally, the gears are shifting in that big brain of his,' you think wryly.
"Come on Y/N. Let's go somewhere more comfortable to talk."
"Why?" you sign with distrust evident on your face.
"Because you obviously need someone to talk to, yet you're too stubborn to ask. Let's go."
He begins to walk, but turns after a few steps to see if you're following him. You roll your eyes but follow him nonetheless. You grudgingly follow him, all the while trying to figure out where a 'comfortable place to talk' is for him. Halfway up a staircase, you realize that he's leading you to the Gryffindor Common Room. You roll your eyes again.
As expected, you stop next to Remus at the portrait of the Fat Lady. She eyes you as Remus says something to her. She swings herself open for you. Remus motions for you to go first.
You step through the hole in the wall and you're instantly surrounded by warmth although the warmth has to do with the color scheme as much as the roaring fire in the pit. The Common Room has a spicy scent that smells of crisp Autumn leaves, cinnamon, and cider.
Remus leads to the corner of the room where two armchairs sit. He motions for you to take a seat on the corner one while he shifts the other to face you. As he sits down, you quirk a brow. He shifts his elbows to the armchair so that he may speak to you without straining his arm muscles. You have to give him credit for that; it's a very clever and thoughtful idea.
"So Y/N, tell me what's on your mind," he signs.
You sigh, or hope that's the noise you just made. It's not like you can hear it.
"I told you, Remus. It's nothing to worry about."
"Y/N, we've been friends for a while, wouldn't you say?"
You pause at this direction of conversation. You nod your head.
"Do you value our friendship?"
You frown.
"Of course I do."
"Then please respect me enough not to lie to me."
You look down for a moment. You twist your fingers together in anxiety before you begin to sign.
"I've just been feeling down is all. I feel like the odd ball because I can't hear. I can't hear laughter, music, or crying. People have to take classes and go through so much trouble to even speak to me. I'll never even hear my crush's voice. I'm just experiencing the downfall of my health condition at the moment."
You shrug but continue to move your hands.
"But it'll pass soon enough. It always does."
You watch the flames of the fire lick the walls of the pit, but you also watch Remus out of the corner of your eye. He stares at you for a long moment. As his hands begin to move, you turn back to him.
"Yes, you are different Y/N, but that does not mean you're an oddball in any way. I understand how you might feel burdensome, but that is not the case. I took the class for many years and I have not regretted it even once. I understand that your condition limits conversation, but I admit that I enjoy being one of the few people that are able to talk to you. That's very selfish of me, but you're a wonderful person and I don't want to see you be corrupted like everyone else. You're very dear to me."
You blink at him, hoping to stop the tears that are fearing in your eyes. You take a deep breath.
"Thank you, Remus. That's the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me."
He smiles gently at you.
"It was nothing but the truth, sweetheart. As to the crush thing, you are truly remarkable as you are."
You smile at him to show how grateful you are for this talk.
"Do you mind if I ask who you have a crush on?"
"Yes I mind! That's the one thing you're not getting out of me!"
He frowns.
"Can I have a hint?"
You sigh again.
"You may ask one yes or no question. That's it."
He narrows his eyes in concentration.
"Does he sign and speak to you?"
You nod your head.
"That's all you're getting," you warn.
He nods as he stands. You stand as well.
"Well, thank you for talking to me, Y/N. If you'll excuse me, I have a paper that I need to finish. I trust you can see yourself out?"
You furrow your brows at his odd behavior, but nod that you could.
"That's good. I'll see you later then."
He leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. As your heart speeds up at the little contact, he turns and climbs the stairs to the boys' dorm. You walk to the portrait in a confused daze, but much happier than when you entered.
*************
Later that week, Remus find you after your last class. His face seems strangely serious and anxious as he asks you to follow him to an empty classroom. As he leads the way, the anxiety rolls off of him and you catch it. You have no idea what's going on, but you're fearful of the possibilities. By the time you reach the classroom, you're a nervous wreck. He shuts the door behind you. As you turn around in the bare classroom, he begins to sign.
"Y/N, I'm going to ask you this again, but please answer."
You knit your eyebrows together and nod.
"Who do you have a crush on?"
The anxiety floods out of you and your shoulders sag in relief.
"Remus, I told you that I'm not telling you. Is this really what you dragged me in here for? An interrogation?"
He looks disappointed then anxious once more.
"Please just don't hate me for this," he begs through your hands.
He pulls his wand out and your breath catches in your throat.
This is it, you think. I'm dead.
You close your eyes in fear and try to breath through the shallow gasps escaping your mouth.
"Y/N," a male voice says softly in your mind.
Your eyes snap open in shock to see Remus already looking at you. The voice speaks to you.
"Please don't hate me."
That's when you realize that Remus is speaking inside of your mind.
"W-what? How? Remus?"
You take a step back as he starts to speak again.
"I've been looking for this spell for months Y/N. I wanted to be able to hear your voice and for you to hear mine as well. As I expected, your voice is as beautiful as you are. Anyways, after our talk the other day, I kept thinking about you having a crush on someone. It made me search for this spell even faster. And at last, I found it. I found it," he whispers the last sentence.
You put your hand to your mouth and take a step back. You can hear Remus' voice. He can talk to you. You can talk to him without raising your hands. It's too much. You fall into an empty chair and stare at him. His concerned chocolate gaze stays on you.
"I can't read your thoughts or anything," he rushes. "You can hear what I choose to speak and vice versa."
You blink at him.
"Why?"
He looks at you with a puzzles expression.
"Why what?"
"Why would you do this for me? Do you value our friendship that much?" You ask, echoing some of the words he had used in your earlier conversation.
He looks away from you.
"Ah, that's the hard part. You see, when you said you had a crush on someone, I got insanely jealous. That's why I acted so oddly afterward. I know you noticed, but I was too upset to apologize or care for your confusion. This jealousy spurred me into finding the spell faster. All the while, I kept thinking of the people that could sign to you. This list of people plagued me. Then I realized, or hoped rather, that it had to be me. I hoped with everything within me that it was me. I decided that I had to see. I had to see if it was me..." He trails off but still won't look at you.
Your heart begins to pound softly in your chest. You stand on shaky knees and step over to him. You lift your hand and press your palm against his cheek. He finally locks eyes with you. You can see the fear that he's trying to suppress in his eyes.
"Of course it's you," you whisper telepathically. "It's always been you."
He closes his eyes and nudges your palm with his cheek.
"Really?" He asks.
The hope in his voice breaks your heart.
"Yes Remus. How could I not have a crush on you? You've been so wonderful to me. Once you found out that I was deaf, you took classes so you could speak to me. After that, you made sure to come speak to me if you ever saw that I was by myself in a crowd. Besides all those wonderful things, you're extremely clever, funny, and charming. What's not to like?"
He mentally sighs and finally opens his eyes. His brown eyes meet your E/C ones.
"Are you sure this isn't a dream?"
You laugh.
"I'm sure, Remus."
"Well, if this love only exists in my dreams, don't wake me up."
"You cheeseball, but I am so glad to hear your voice. Did you know that your voice is beautiful?"
He laughs. Tears start to stream down your face.
"Your laugh is beautiful as well."
He gently wipes the tears from your face.
"No crying gorgeous."
You laugh and put your other hand on his empty cheek. He shifts his gaze to your lips then back to your eyes. Slowly, he leans in and presses his warm lips against yours. You wrap your arms around his neck and draw him closer to your body, closer to your heart.