—First life, year 2016—
"We're here!"
I looked up as my flatmate started screaming joyfully as she ran ahead of me. She had been practically dragging me down the streets all the way to the frat house, heading to where one of the loudest party of the year was being held that night.
"Oh my God, look it's packed already! And I can hear the music from here! I wonder if anyone is calling the cops already," she squealed in awe, almost hopping on her heels with her hands pulling my wrist to make sure I was not going to run away. "Sure hope they have enough booze for all these people!"
"I absolutely hope so," I answered her with a groan. Both of my ankles were sore because of the dreadful heels she made me wear. My answer was also my silent prayer, for that was the only reason why I had agreed to join her tonight. After the whole semester of being stuck in classes, never-ending assignments, and binding exams, I was going to need some alcohol boost to help me let loose. I was pretty sure that everyone that filled the house had the same thoughts as I did.
It was the last day of our final exam, after all.
It was not that I hated going to parties. I mean, I have had my shares of partying myself. All those nights I spent dancing my ass off with strange college boys and jocks, and waking up in the morning with hangovers. But that was last semester. That was my life before I started failing in classes and finding myself nearly losing my best friend who had grown tired of taking care of my drunken mess every night when he was supposed to be studying.
Tonight became my only ticket out since Taehyung had gone back to our hometown right after his exams had ended, and I had told my flatmate that I needed to have a night out. There was nothing better than drinking my misery away after getting through an exam, especially the one which I may have completely failed myself in.
"Yura, come on, you need to slow down and chill. At least give me time to breathe for a bit," I whined and tried to pull my hand off her clutching grip.
"Okay, okay," she giggled, finally letting me go and turning to face me so she could take a look closer at my dress and makeup. "Well, I did pretty well. You look less like a girl who's been drowning in papers for the whole year."
"Thank you for the help, my Fairy Godmother," I laughed with her as I playfully bowed. "I already told you that I'm only coming with you to grab drinks, I don't really see the point of why I should dress up like this. Unless you really are expecting me to hook up with a beer jug."
She laughed and shrugged. "You never know. I might not be the only one who's getting lucky tonight," she said, before pacing towards the front door, swaying her hips as she walked past a few boys who were hanging out and drinking on the driveway.
I followed her close behind while trying my best to ignore the curious gazes that kept following us, flattening my palms over my dress and softly tugging the bottom hem to stop it from riding up towards my hip. For someone who was so used to be wearing jeans and shirts—well, probably occasional summer dresses when I felt like it—wearing a terribly short bodycon dress was torture. But no one could fight Yura once she had made up her mind, and she would not leave our flat until I agreed to wear her dress.
"That's okay. Breathe," I told myself. "Get a few drinks, probably a few dances, have fun. And the minute you forget about that fucked up exam, you can go and run back home as fast as you can." The words failed to make me feel at least a bit more excited however, since I was somehow already missing the comfort of my own bed. "Oh, come on, you've done this before," I grunted under my breath as I made my way further into the party.
A little over an hour later, I found solace in the drinks they served in red plastic cups, no longer care to where Yura had disappeared to as I downed my second portion of mixed tequila and orange juice around the kitchen area. That was until I suddenly got pushed away when a group of rowdy frat boys came in to take over the kitchen for a drinking game, forcing me to leave and make my way to find the back porch. I needed the fresh air anyway, since it seemed like the college kids inside the house just kept multiplying and the loud music felt too much for my tipsy head to handle.
I breathed in the fresh air as I stepped out. The porch was only occupied by a small number of people shying away from the crowd, most were already too intoxicated to notice me joining them. The ignorance was a blessing for me. But the silence that suddenly enveloped me was also deafening.
Maybe I shouldn't have come to this party, I thought silently when I suddenly felt so alone at such a foreign place.
I closed my eyes to enjoy the breeze of fresh air, to ignore the drumming beat inside my chest. The muffled sound of music behind me was the only sign showing me that I was still far from passing out. Not that I was drunk enough to be yet.
The serene moment took away my thoughts, and I was soon lost in it, taken away from the party and everything that was happening around me as my mind wandered to anywhere else but here. I let a few minutes passed, before I opened my eyes and lifted the cup in my hand to drink, only to find out that they were indeed already empty.
"Damn it," I cursed, dreading the thought of having to return towards the ruckus in the kitchen only to have a refill. But I could not help it. I needed to get more of those drinks before I could go back to my empty flat. Perhaps I could get something even stronger so I could return early.
"Oof—"
I was met with a broad chest covering my path as I turned around towards the back door.
"I'm sorry—" I clumsily apologized before lifting my face to look at the other casualty of our clash.
The man before me was snickering in shock and still had not noticed me standing there yet, until he shook his head and started blinking his eyes rapidly, still saying on his two clumsy feet before he finally saw me. "F-fuck—no, it's okay," he said, scanning me from the top of my head and down to my legs as if he was measuring me. Meanwhile, I was starting to get incredibly annoyed when a thick scent of alcohol came out from his breath, and to the fact that this brute was on the way between me and my tequila.
"Are you lost?" His grin widened, the shock on his face turned into a disgusting flirty grin, and all the alarm in my head immediately started blaring as I realized that he was nothing but trouble.
"No, I'm fine. I just need to get back inside."
"What are you doing out here all by yourself?" He clumsily looked around, before turning to look at my face again. "How about I keep you company? I can be a lot of fun. What do you say, hmm?"
I winced the moment he lifted his hand, and took a step backwards when he suddenly reached out to grab my waist. "No, thank you," I quickly answered, failing to sound firm and steady when I almost tripped on my own heels. My movements were a bit too clumsy thanks to my hazy mind.
Okay, I guess I am a bit drunk already.
"Look, I just want to be alone, alright?" I tried to block him from getting closer by putting my hands up and tried to move around him. Judging from the size of his body and muscled arms, I could already tell that once he got his hands on me, I might never be able to fight him off. And I was beginning to feel a bit terrified.
"Oh, come on, babe. I promise to show you a good time," he kept pushing on and once again trying to reach out, this time aiming for my wrist. And he won.
"What the—? Let go of me!" I shrieked. I tried to pull my hand away, but even the drunken state he was in did not lessen his strength at all. He only laughed, all while toying with me by pushing and pulling my arm as I tried to get away. And for the first time ever, I was scared for life and felt helpless.
"Hey!"
The man slightly jumped when a voice coming from behind him interrupted us. I looked over, blinking away the tear in my eyes and saw someone standing behind him with a threatening glare. "Let her go. Everyone can see she doesn't want your company," he said.
He looked a bit smaller than the one currently holding me, but I could sense how his presence made the prick in front of me faltered.
"Get inside and stay away, Kookie. This is none of your business," he barked at the intruder, while I threw my pleading eyes at him instead, which he was able to catch on.
"It is my business if you're harassing my guest. Let her go, Jay. Now!"
"Or what, Kookie? What are you going to do, huh?" He taunted with a clenched jaw, pulling me harder towards him but not so much so I could stop myself from falling onto his chest.
"Or I will ban you from our events and our house for good. How does that sound?"
The man named Jay, whose hand was starting to leave marks on my wrist, started to falter. Yet he was too drunk and too stubborn to give in easily. "You won't be able to do that."
"Try me."
I looked over between this Jay guy and to Kookie, the one who challenged him. Both of them were clenching their jaws and neither of them seemed to show any signs of giving in. The tension around us started rising, both men emitting such a strong alpha male vibe and I started to worry that they would start hurting each other if neither of them would give in.
But then Jay started cursing under his breath and abruptly let go of my hand, almost causing me to fall back. "Fine. Fuck. The chick is yours," he grunted, before walking away to the opposite side of the porch, away from Kookie and myself. "See you later, bitch," he snapped at me before I lost sight of him.
I looked down on my wrist and started to rub the soreness he left behind, while trying my best to hold back my tears.
"Hey, are you alright?"
He called me with a soft voice, my saviour, reminding me that he was still standing right there. I looked up at him, finally able to see his face more clearly once I managed to hold my tears from flowing out. I recognised him as one of the boys that had occupied the kitchen earlier, one of the contenders on the drinking competition, who kept his probing eyes on me as I passed through the crowd to leave the room. I remembered meeting him before as well, although I have never gotten to know his name. We belonged in different crowds after all, albeit always meeting up in random parties.
"I—uh, I'm—" I tried to speak, but I was still too shaken by what had just happened, still too scared that I somehow lost my voice.
He moved towards me with long strides, reaching to me in only two long steps, and I instinctively took a step backwards. "Hey, hey—It's okay," he gently spoke with his hands raised. "I just want to make sure you're okay. Can I look at it?"
I was hesitant at first. But his eyes looked so genuinely worried and his voice was calming enough to make me feel safe. I was still too weak to fight anyone off anyway.
"Okay—" I whispered, standing at where I was as he came closer. I held my sore wrist before his hand reached forward to take my hand so he could look at it. The moment I let go of my grip, the red mark on my skin appeared.
He cursed under his breath while shaking his head. "Does it hurt? Do you want some ice for it?"
"No, it's okay," I mumbled and looked away.
"Well, then—Do you want to leave? Is there anyone who can take you home?"
I looked up at him. He was staring at me with a concerned look as he waited for my answer. At this point, my logical mind was screaming at me—
Go home, ______. Your cozy bed is much safer than here.
Unfortunately, as I kept my eyes looking at his gorgeous face, I chose to listen to the other half of my brain. Its nemesis, which seemed to enjoy dragging me into making foolish decisions. "I might not be drunk enough to go home."
He laughed at what I had just absentmindedly said to him. "Alright, come on. Let me get you a drink," he said.
I only stood there in silence. My brows knitted together as I stared at him all confused, clasping my hands in front of me while I looked back and forth between his hand which he extended towards me and his face.
He saw my hesitation and smiled. "I'm not going to try to do anything you don't want me to, okay? I promise I won't put any weird stuff in your drinks or even think about tricking you into anything. I'm just worried about leaving you out here alone."
I fell silent when I looked at him closely, studying his face to see if there was any harm or threats hiding behind his sparkling eyes. Which was certainly not an easy task to do when I was as drunk and as hazy as I was. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or the aftermath from the previous encounter I was still reeling over, but I saw his sincerity from his eyes.
"Okay—" I whispered. "But, just—If you do anything to me, or try anything funny, I will start screaming murder and I will run out of here as fast as I can after hurting you with these heels."
"Deal." He gave me a warm, reassuring smile, and I could not stop myself from returning it with my own.
He guided me back inside. His towering height came clear to me as he walked beside me with his hand guiding on my back. "Do you want to come with me to the bar or wait for me right here?" He leaned closer just so I could hear him speak against the loud music.
I looked around and scanned through the crowded room. A chill ran down my spine. The scene of the rowdy party was surprisingly starting to intimidate me and I was scared of being left alone. "I think—I should go with you."
He merely smiled, before he started guiding me across the room with his hand pressing on the small of my back all the way to the bar. It was practically a makeshift bar, using a stool table as its counter that was set at the corner of the living room. I could only wonder how they managed to keep the drinks flowing all night from that tiny corner itself.
I looked over as we walked by, and caught the sight of the prick who had tried to harass me earlier standing across the room with a group of jocks. A girl was leaning on his chest while he had his hands roaming all over her body. As if he could sense me looking his way, he raised his face and searched around until he met my eyes. And even when his lips were preoccupied, biting and kissing the girl he was currently holding in his arms, he still had the nerve to throw a wink at me.
By how a warm palm steadily rested on my waist before I felt him pulling me close, I knew that my saviour had seen it too. His eyes were filled with disgust as he glared at the other man, before he looked at me, changing his gaze into a more gentle one. "Stay by my side, okay?" I heard him speak with a clenched jaw.
"Yeah, okay—"
I stood next to him as he called out to his friend who was tending the drinks, and waited until he turned to hand me a fresh cup filled with drinks. I reached out to take the cup from him, only to have him pulling away with a sly grin. "I know that I promised you and said I won't pull any tricks, but—" he bit his lips when he saw me lifting an eyebrow, "—can I trade this drink for a name?'
Pointing at myself, I stared at him with wide eyes as if to question what he had meant, which he answered with a wide grin and a nod.
Of course, he is asking for your name, idiot.
I leaned forward and stood on my tiptoes just so I could speak to his ears. "My name is _____."
His smile widened right before he finally passed the plastic cup to me. "Nice to see you again, _____. It's been a while," he said as he leaned closer so I could hear his voice.
I looked at him a frown. "'Again'? Do you know me?"
He shrugged while he drank from his cup. "I used to see you around at parties like these. I remember you came to one of our gatherings. But then you disappeared before I ever got any chance to get to know you, or to even know your name."
I bit my lip, trying my best to ignore the fluttering inside my chest. "Is that the reason why you were staring at me back at the kitchen?"
"So you saw me, huh?" He chuckled. "Yeah, that's exactly why. It was fortunate that I did, though. I only looked away for a moment to do the beer challenge and when I saw you again that jackass was already trying to get his hands on you."
I shuddered at the thought of what had happened. My hand instantly went to touch my wrist which still had shades of red on it. "Thank you, for saving my ass back there."
"Anytime," he said, giving me a smile which nearly had my knees weaken. But then again, I could not really tell if my body was reacting to his smile or due to the booze in my hand.
"So, 'Kookie'?"
He laughed. "That's what everyone calls me. I'm Jungkook."
I repeated his name and felt how it slid smoothly on my tongue. "It's nice to have met you, Jungkook. And thank you, really."
He lifted his cup to drink—hiding his shy grin in the process—while keeping his eyes on me. I had to look away and hide my own smile by drinking when his deep stare became too unbearable. "I'm really glad you came tonight," he said to me before handing me another cup of drink after I finished my first.
I merely sighed. "I wish I could say the same thing."
"Why?" He frowned. "Because of that prick? Is being rescued by me not enough to save the night?"
I nearly choked on my drink when he made me laugh. "I don't know. Maybe? Or maybe I'm just too overwhelmed with everything that's going on tonight since I basically had decided to come only for the drinks."
He pursed his lips. "Okay, so—Should we get you another then?"
I shook my head and pointed at the one I was holding, letting him know that I had barely finished it. I had completely forgotten my initial plan of getting a stronger one.
"I'm bored with drinks."
"So—What do you want to do now?"
Suddenly feeling terribly bold, I said nothing as I looked at him, sending him a smile before I downed the rest of my drink. He kept his eyes on me as I dumped the empty red cup away and slowly made my way to the center of the dance floor.
"Where are you going?" he called for me, fighting the loud music. I kept staring at him even as I joined in with the dancing crowd, swaying my hips and hands to the beat of the music between the sweaty hot bodies around me.
He never looked away. An amused look appeared in his eyes before they darkened, watching me as I kept dancing on my own, boldly performing for him from the dance floor. I danced for another minute only to tease him, and started waving my hands in front of me, acting out as if I was reaching out to him and calling him to join me. He grinned and started chuckling to himself. I watched him downed his drink in one go before making his way to join me.
"Hello again," I greeted him as he finally reached me.
I let him rest his hands on my waist as we danced along with the music, and he leaned down to whisper, "You are driving me completely insane."
No words were said to answer him. Instead, I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck as we continued dancing with our bodies pressing so close to each other. His dark gaze that was staring straight into my eyes, the scent of his cologne, his tight grip on my hips, and the heat he emitted from his hard body was the only things that mattered. And I relished the moment as he helped me forget about the crowd of drunken mass surrounding us.
"Are you following me?"
I had lost track of time and had lost count of how much I drank before I left the party. The only reason I even stopped was how Jungkook pushed away the last cup I was handed to by the tab handler. The party had also gotten completely out of hand that I could not stand to be there any longer, especially when I could not find Yura even as I searched anywhere for her. Perhaps she just never wanted to be found since she never even tried to call or text me, and my own calls were left unanswered. Which was probably why I did not even try so hard to look.
My head was pounding as I walked down on the empty road. I could not tell whether it was engraved that way from the loud music or from the drinks which I had gotten at the party, but judging from the way I kept on stumbling on my own two legs, it may have been the latter. I was still practically dancing when I was walking on the sidewalk, and even did a few turns to see him following me behind.
"Yes, I am. I already told you, I can't let you walk out here on your own," Jungkook told me, rushing ahead when my last turn nearly caused me to fall face first onto the pavings. I let out a yelp right when he caught my hand and stopped my fall. "See? I can't take my eyes off of you without worrying that you'll get hurt."
I looked up and giggled. "Aw—My hero."
He responded to me with a small laugh and wrapped his arm around my waist to hold me up. "Alright, come on. Let's get you home safely. Tell me where to go."
I looked around and pointed, "That way. I live in the student flat down this road."
We continued to walk until we reached my flat with my body literally clinging to him, talking to each other on the way there. He was constantly asking me things to keep me awake, which mostly became a blur since I was too drunk to process everything that was happening and I was terribly sleepy.
I never would have thought that alcohol and his body warmth was the perfect combination to cure my sleeping disorder.
"Here we are," I groaned as we walked into the building. He helped me walk up the stairs and kept holding my waist tightly as I struggled to open the door. I turned around as I walk past the door only to bid him goodbye, yet my body failed me. Once again, I stumbled on my own two clumsy legs and he had to help me walk inside.
"Where's your bedroom?" He gently asked me, his voice sounding like a whisper. My whole body shivered under his touch and to the feeling of his warm breath as he spoke so close to me.
"Are you trying to get me into bed with you?" I asked him, biting my lips nervously while still pointing out to where he needed to take me to.
He chuckled and held me close to him as pushed my bedroom door open. "Oh, I am getting you to bed. But not the way you are thinking."
"Why not?" I pouted.
"Because we are both drunk, and this is not how I had imagined our first time would be after wondering for so long about where you had disappeared to."
I could not tell if his confession was a slip up on his part of being drunk himself, or if he had meant to say them out loud. But I was too drunk to care.
"Have you been waiting for me?"
"Yes, I have. And I don't want to let you slip away from me again," he growled with his face so close to mine.
My logical mind was starting to sound the alarm again, screaming for me to not fall for his sweetly drunken words and warning me that he meant trouble. But I supposed that part of my mind was meant to keep losing that night, because I had chosen to listen to the other part of my conscience—the more stubborn one, as a matter of fact—yet again.
"Well, that's a pity," I sighed while backing away from him. "You are missing out on this virgin ass right here—oof!" My effort to flirt with him and acting sexy for him instantly failed as the back of my legs hit the bed and I fell backwards.
He only laughed at me as he walked closer. I pulled myself up and sat down at the foot of the bed and watched as he kneeled down in front of me, planting his hands on either side of my body as he spoke, "The more reason for us to wait until the right moment then. I wouldn't want to take it away from you only to have you forget about me the next morning."
Damn those beautiful eyes, I thought to myself as I studied his face. Unable to tell whether it was his words or his gorgeous face that was dangerously so close to mine that made my heart flutter and ready to combust, I only fell silent and reached out to cup his face with my trembling palms.
"What a gentleman," I whispered as I brushed my thumbs over his cheeks. "So glad you found me."
"So glad that I did." He smiled at me then, before reaching down to take my heels off one at a time. "Do you want to change? Tell me where I can find more comfortable clothes for you to wear."
I pointed at my closet with half-opened eyelids. "Just grab me an oversized t-shirt by that drawer."
He walked away and I could hear him opening my drawers to retrieve my nightshirt as I was starting to doze off to sleep. "Hey, don't fall asleep yet," he said with a chuckle. He handed me the shirt and I eyed him suspiciously. "Don't worry, I won't look. I'm going to get you a glass of water and come back when you're done, okay?"
He stood up and walked out of the room without waiting for my answer. I kept my eyes on him until he closed the door behind him, and quickly took my dress off and changed into my shirt. A sigh of relief slipped out of me once I was freed from the tight clothing, as I felt as if my skin could finally breathe. I climbed up on my bed, and lied down, resting my head on my pillows as I waited for him to come back.
Jungkook gave a soft knock on the door and called for me, "Are you done?" which I answered with a sleepy hum. He stepped in with a smile, a glass of water in one hand and a coaster with some pills which I recognised as hangover pills in the other. He placed them on the bedside table, right next to my phone and purse which I had just placed there when he left.
"Are you staying?" I looked up and asked him, while he only smiled at me.
"Do you want me to stay?"
I only shrugged and looked away. "Only if you want to."
He fell silent for a moment. I had to stop myself from trying to wonder what he had in mind by looking away, refusing to see if he ever decided to walk out the door. But then he pulled the linen blanket to cover my body, and I felt the bed dipped as he climbed next to me and lied down.
"I'm going to stay until you fall asleep. Or at least until I'm sure that it would be alright to leave you here on your own, okay?"
I gave him a smile and lied facing him sideways. "Okay," I whispered before I closed my eyes. The flutter in my heart became the sweet music that lulled me to sleep.
I woke up the next morning with the most expected hangover. The poundings in my head became the only sound I kept hearing until I reached out to grab the water next to the bed.
I looked around to find myself lying on my bed all alone. The curtains were partly opened, allowing the sun to come through and send warmth into the room. Everything that had happened the night before started to come back to me, reminding me of my raven-haired saviour and his gentle eyes.
The blinking lights from my phone caught my eyes as I returned the empty glass to the table, and I reached for it. A few notifications were shown on the screen—six missed calls from Yura and four messages waiting to be read. I ignored the calls and quickly opened the messages, hoping for a chance to see him again.
[08.33 AM] From Jungkook: Morning, beautiful. You might not be expecting to see this message. I'm sorry for taking your phone when you were asleep. I just had to have your number and put mine in yours. Can't have you slipping away from me again
[08.34 AM] From Jungkook: in case you have forgotten all about last night...no, we didn't have sex, and you changed your own clothes. I fell asleep next to you and only left right before I am sending you this
[08.34 AM] From Jungkook: you looked so peaceful when you sleep. I couldn't just leave you alone
[08.45 AM] From Jungkook: if you ever want to see me again. Please reply and let me know once you are awake. Just in case you need someone to protect you when you need to go out and grab some coffee
I was completely surprised to see the messages at first, but I was extremely relieved when I read them. It was a blessing to have the ability to sober up quickly even after drinking all night, and to be able to remember everything the next morning. I was glad that he reached out, that there was a chance for us to see each other again. It certainly did not take me long enough to decide that I would be seeing him again, to ignore my conscience that was screaming at me to stay away.
Fratboys are all pretty much the same, it warned me. You'll only get hurt if you get any closer.
For years, I had been listening to logic, to listen to the voices inside my head when they warned me to stay out of trouble no matter what. Sadly, for some reason, that part of me kept losing against my curious heart. Just because of the raven-haired boy that had me questioning and wanting more.
And I easily gave in.
[10.11 AM] To Jungkook: Don't worry, I remember everything. But thank you for filling me in
[10.12 AM] To Jungkook: Are you still free for coffee?